1 00:23:45,266 --> 00:23:48,335 l gotta find some stuff for the yard sale! 2 00:23:48,433 --> 00:23:51,669 Oh, my God! A lamp! 3 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:02,070 At last, l'm free from the lamp's confines. 4 00:24:02,166 --> 00:24:05,769 l was in that thing for quite a long time! 5 00:24:05,933 --> 00:24:08,568 Wow! A rhyming magic genie! 6 00:24:08,733 --> 00:24:11,802 No. Actually, that was just a mistake! 7 00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:15,069 But now you have three wishes to make! 8 00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:16,967 Wow, you rhymed again! 9 00:24:17,133 --> 00:24:18,934 Oh, l did, didn't l? 10 00:24:19,033 --> 00:24:22,269 But l assure you, that was just an accident. 11 00:24:22,366 --> 00:24:24,101 Oh-mee, oh-my. 12 00:24:24,266 --> 00:24:26,101 You totally did that on purpose. 13 00:24:26,266 --> 00:24:28,434 No, l didn't. 14 00:24:29,433 --> 00:24:30,867 No, l didn't. 15 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,534 Fuck this, l'm getting another genie. 16 00:24:32,633 --> 00:24:34,468 Whoa! 17 00:24:35,500 --> 00:24:38,603 Yeah, baby! Yeah! 18 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:40,802 That is so outdated. 19 00:24:40,966 --> 00:24:43,234 Wait a minute, somebody took my idea for a movie? 20 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,601 You mean, ''Austin Powers''? 21 00:24:44,766 --> 00:24:46,767 Austin Powers! That was my idea! 22 00:24:46,866 --> 00:24:48,334 Fuck this, l'm getting another genie. 23 00:24:48,466 --> 00:24:51,368 Mini Me? Dr. Evil? Did they do that stuff? 24 00:24:51,900 --> 00:24:54,435 Hey, kid. l'm Darren, your genie! 25 00:24:55,233 --> 00:24:57,101 Eh. 26 00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:01,401 Now we're talkin'! 27 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:05,270 Helloooooo, kid! 28 00:25:05,366 --> 00:25:08,268 Helloooooo, Genie! 29 00:25:08,366 --> 00:25:10,367 So l get three wishes, right? 30 00:25:10,533 --> 00:25:14,670 That's right. You are the lucky recipient of three magic wishes. 31 00:25:14,799 --> 00:25:17,169 These wishes may drastically change your life, 32 00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:20,168 so think long and hard about what you really want 33 00:25:20,266 --> 00:25:22,968 and what may improve your existence, 34 00:25:23,066 --> 00:25:25,701 and then make your choice. 35 00:25:25,833 --> 00:25:27,334 l want my teacher dead! 36 00:25:28,233 --> 00:25:31,002 Uh.... 37 00:25:31,166 --> 00:25:35,103 Look, l want you to know, l really don't feel comfortable doing this. 38 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,468 l don't give a flying fuck. Shoot. 39 00:25:37,566 --> 00:25:39,868 l've never even used one of these before. 40 00:25:39,966 --> 00:25:44,937 lt's easy. That's the business end. Point it at the target and go to work. 41 00:25:45,033 --> 00:25:46,367 But it'll make her die! 42 00:25:46,466 --> 00:25:49,602 And that's my wish. Now do it! 43 00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,736 Okay, okay. 44 00:25:53,833 --> 00:25:56,135 You can do this. You can do this. 45 00:25:56,233 --> 00:25:59,502 You're a fuckin' genie for Christ's sake. 46 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,501 [ Gunshot ] 47 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,100 Did we get her? 48 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,268 Oh, you fucking got her. 49 00:26:07,366 --> 00:26:09,868 [ Groans ] 50 00:26:09,966 --> 00:26:11,734 Now about my second wish. 51 00:26:11,833 --> 00:26:14,535 l wanna have sex with Megan Welbly. 52 00:26:14,633 --> 00:26:15,500 Who's that? 53 00:26:15,599 --> 00:26:18,469 She's the hottest girl in school. She's a senior. 54 00:26:18,566 --> 00:26:19,667 Kid, l don't know. 55 00:26:19,766 --> 00:26:21,734 You're a genie, you have to make it happen. 56 00:26:21,833 --> 00:26:24,202 That's the rule. 57 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,467 Hi. 58 00:26:27,633 --> 00:26:28,700 What do you want? 59 00:26:28,799 --> 00:26:30,768 Well, l don't know if you've noticed 60 00:26:30,866 --> 00:26:33,501 any of the freshmen this year or anything, 61 00:26:33,599 --> 00:26:35,368 but l have this friend -- 62 00:26:35,466 --> 00:26:38,936 he's really cool, and he thinks you're really pretty. 63 00:26:39,033 --> 00:26:39,900 MAN: Meg, who is it? 64 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,435 lt's just some Smurf. 65 00:26:42,533 --> 00:26:44,167 Actually l am a genie. 66 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,802 Kid, get in. The talks didn't go so well. 67 00:26:52,533 --> 00:26:54,935 So, about my third wish. 68 00:26:55,033 --> 00:26:57,902 What could you possibly want now? 69 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:02,437 l want to be President of the United States of America. 70 00:27:03,366 --> 00:27:05,868 Kid, that's gonna take a long time. 71 00:27:05,966 --> 00:27:09,803 l mean, we're gonna have to start all grassroots. 72 00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:12,636 And kids aren't even eligible. 73 00:27:12,799 --> 00:27:16,103 Plus it's gonna be tough since you just raped that woman. 74 00:27:16,266 --> 00:27:19,969 Or maybe l could wish that there were no more genies. 75 00:27:20,099 --> 00:27:23,670 No, no, no. l'll do it. 76 00:27:23,766 --> 00:27:26,068 Fucking psycho. 77 00:27:28,566 --> 00:27:30,434 Hi, my name is Genie Simmons, 78 00:27:30,533 --> 00:27:33,903 and l'm here to talk to you about Proposition 262A, 79 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,336 which, if voted for, would enable children to run for President. 80 00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:38,868 And l would just like to -- 81 00:27:40,566 --> 00:27:41,900 Hi. l'd like to talk to you 82 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,435 about electing Billy Masterson to city council. 83 00:27:44,966 --> 00:27:46,233 Hi. l'd like to talk to you 84 00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:49,269 about councilman Billy Masterson's campaign for Mayor. 85 00:27:49,366 --> 00:27:51,401 Hi. l'd like to talk to you 86 00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:55,136 about our adorable child senator, Billy Masterson. 87 00:27:55,233 --> 00:27:58,703 Well, he's decided to take a run for the Oval Office. 88 00:27:58,833 --> 00:28:00,401 N EWSCASTE R: Our pollsters in Virginia 89 00:28:00,500 --> 00:28:05,738 say it is going 49 to 51 there in favor of the Governor of Alaska. 90 00:28:05,833 --> 00:28:08,001 Ladies and gentlemen, we've just received word. 91 00:28:08,166 --> 00:28:10,201 With 63O_ of our precincts reporting in, 92 00:28:10,299 --> 00:28:13,236 we are calling it for Billy Masterson! 93 00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:14,434 Whoo! 94 00:28:19,099 --> 00:28:21,669 Well, kid, l guess this is good-bye. 95 00:28:21,766 --> 00:28:24,168 We've had some times, haven't we, Genie? 96 00:28:24,266 --> 00:28:25,000 Yeah. 97 00:28:25,099 --> 00:28:27,969 My bitch teacher's dead, l got some sweet puss, 98 00:28:28,066 --> 00:28:31,002 and now l'm the leader of the free world. 99 00:28:31,099 --> 00:28:34,470 l picked up smoking, and my doctor says l have an ulcer. 100 00:28:34,566 --> 00:28:36,901 Ha, yeah! 101 00:28:48,166 --> 00:28:50,935 Epilepsy test! 102 00:28:55,799 --> 00:28:59,803 One moment please. Getting your results. 103 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:10,371 One moment please. Getting your results. 104 00:29:15,466 --> 00:29:19,303 One moment please. Getting results. 105 00:29:29,033 --> 00:29:34,438 Please be patient while we get your results. 106 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,938 Thank you for your patience while we look for your results. 107 00:29:41,866 --> 00:29:47,037 Okay, l'm getting your results now. 108 00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:58,236 Please hold for results. 109 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,702 Results are in! 110 00:30:14,166 --> 00:30:17,302 l'm reading your results. 111 00:30:20,166 --> 00:30:23,769 Please hold while l'm reading your results. 112 00:30:33,099 --> 00:30:36,369 Congratulations, you don't have epilepsy. 113 00:30:36,466 --> 00:30:37,466 [ Cheering ] 114 00:30:37,566 --> 00:30:39,901 But you have tested positive for: 115 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,102 Glaucoma! 116 00:30:45,633 --> 00:30:48,869 Um, okay. 117 00:30:48,766 --> 00:30:54,037 You had one Super Bacon Cheeseburger. 118 00:30:54,166 --> 00:30:55,367 Yes. 119 00:30:55,466 --> 00:31:00,237 Um, with Monster fries and Extreme Sauce. 120 00:31:00,366 --> 00:31:01,900 Yes, thank you. 121 00:31:02,066 --> 00:31:03,767 Um.... 122 00:31:03,866 --> 00:31:06,235 A Spiderman Coke. 123 00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:07,667 And.... 124 00:31:07,799 --> 00:31:12,004 Oh, one large pickle. 125 00:31:12,099 --> 00:31:14,769 Okay, thanks for shopping at -- 126 00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:16,968 [ Vomits ] 127 00:31:28,799 --> 00:31:30,201 Um.... 128 00:31:31,633 --> 00:31:33,067 Okay. 129 00:31:33,166 --> 00:31:36,135 No refunds. Next in line, please. 130 00:31:36,633 --> 00:31:38,468 Um, hold on a second. 131 00:31:38,566 --> 00:31:40,267 Let me talk to your manager. 132 00:31:40,433 --> 00:31:43,335 Um, l am the manager. 133 00:31:43,433 --> 00:31:46,135 No refunds. Next in line, please. 134 00:31:46,266 --> 00:31:49,869 No, not ''next in line, please.'' You threw up all over my food. 135 00:31:49,966 --> 00:31:52,868 Um, no, l didn't. Thanks for shopping at Wen-- 136 00:31:52,966 --> 00:31:54,767 No, you did. Get the manager. 137 00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:58,403 Dude, why are you making a scene? 138 00:31:58,533 --> 00:32:00,868 All these people are watching you. 139 00:32:00,966 --> 00:32:04,035 You look ridiculous right now. 140 00:32:04,166 --> 00:32:06,067 Okay. 141 00:32:06,166 --> 00:32:08,601 Help! Manager, please! 142 00:32:08,766 --> 00:32:10,100 Dude! Narc! 143 00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:12,335 Yes, can l help you? l'm the manager. 144 00:32:12,433 --> 00:32:15,335 Yes, your employee just threw up all over my food. 145 00:32:15,433 --> 00:32:19,136 Um, no, l didn't. He threw up on his own food. 146 00:32:19,266 --> 00:32:21,034 No, he did it. l saw him. 147 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,802 Okay, you got me. 148 00:32:27,900 --> 00:32:30,235 Can't blame a guy for trying, though. 149 00:32:30,333 --> 00:32:33,169 l tried to play if off. Up top! 150 00:32:33,266 --> 00:32:34,133 No, no. 151 00:32:34,233 --> 00:32:36,568 Brian, you're not feeling well. You need to go home. 152 00:32:36,666 --> 00:32:38,601 No, l think you need to go home 153 00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:40,902 'cause you're the one that's not feeling well. 154 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,869 Brian, l'm not gonna tell you again, go home. 155 00:32:43,966 --> 00:32:46,401 Dude, why are you making such a scene? 156 00:32:46,500 --> 00:32:49,536 Everyone's watching. You look ridiculous right now. 157 00:32:49,633 --> 00:32:50,867 Go home, Brian. 158 00:32:50,966 --> 00:32:54,869 Uh, no, Mr. Lagurski, l'm not gonna make out with you 159 00:32:54,966 --> 00:32:58,202 and take you to prom like you always asked me to. 160 00:32:58,299 --> 00:33:01,236 Okay. Brian that is strike three. You are fired. 161 00:33:01,866 --> 00:33:06,971 Uh, you can't fire me because my dad owns the franchise. 162 00:33:07,066 --> 00:33:09,301 No, Brian, l own the franchise. 163 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,836 Your dad is the town drunk, and you are fired. 164 00:33:12,933 --> 00:33:14,634 Now, go. 165 00:33:18,866 --> 00:33:23,136 All right. Tried to play it off though. 166 00:33:23,233 --> 00:33:24,300 Come on, up top. 167 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:25,400 -Get out. -Come on. 168 00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:27,201 Get out. 169 00:33:29,066 --> 00:33:30,667 Okay. 170 00:33:31,500 --> 00:33:33,735 l will get out. 171 00:33:33,833 --> 00:33:38,070 But you guys will all be sorry. 172 00:33:38,166 --> 00:33:41,669 You'll never know what you are missing 173 00:33:41,766 --> 00:33:47,037 because l swear to God, that that dude 174 00:33:47,166 --> 00:33:51,003 was the dude that threw up in his own -- 175 00:33:51,099 --> 00:33:54,069 [ Vomits ] 176 00:34:08,666 --> 00:34:10,267 [ Screams ] 177 00:34:10,433 --> 00:34:12,168 [ Children scream ] 178 00:34:12,333 --> 00:34:15,536 You kids look like you could use a delicious fruity beverage! 179 00:34:15,699 --> 00:34:16,801 Who are you? 180 00:34:16,966 --> 00:34:19,401 Might l suggest fizzy-Pops Grape Blast, 181 00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,602 the new soda from Johnson and Hedges! 182 00:34:21,766 --> 00:34:25,870 Open wide, kids, 'cause l'm gonna grape you in the mouth! 183 00:34:25,966 --> 00:34:26,866 [ Screams ] 184 00:34:27,033 --> 00:34:29,168 [ Children scream ] 185 00:34:33,166 --> 00:34:35,401 He's going to what them in the mouth? 186 00:34:35,566 --> 00:34:37,067 He's gonna grape 'em. 187 00:34:37,166 --> 00:34:39,034 He's going to grape them? 188 00:34:39,166 --> 00:34:40,233 Yeah, in the mouth. 189 00:34:42,166 --> 00:34:42,900 Right. 190 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:43,767 Sure. 191 00:34:43,900 --> 00:34:44,800 There's more. 192 00:34:44,966 --> 00:34:47,201 No, l -- l'm sorry. 193 00:34:48,900 --> 00:34:50,968 All right, well, l'm not sure that l'm comfortable 194 00:34:51,066 --> 00:34:54,002 with the catch phrase ''l'm gonna grape you in the mouth'' 195 00:34:54,099 --> 00:34:55,835 for our new mascot. l mean.... 196 00:34:55,933 --> 00:34:57,434 We're just not sure about that one. 197 00:34:57,533 --> 00:34:59,668 Yeah, we might want to workshop it a touch. 198 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:03,770 Really? Why? That's his thing. He grapes people. 199 00:35:03,900 --> 00:35:06,068 He grapes people in the mouth. 200 00:35:06,233 --> 00:35:08,268 We're just not exactly sure that is -- 201 00:35:08,433 --> 00:35:10,568 He sneaks into little kids' rooms in the middle of the night, 202 00:35:10,666 --> 00:35:12,567 and he grapes them in the mouth. 203 00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:17,070 Okay, see, 'cause l think that the reason that l'm a little hesitant 204 00:35:17,166 --> 00:35:21,069 is because to me it sounds like he's saying -- 205 00:35:21,166 --> 00:35:24,669 to me it sounds like he's saying he's going to.... 206 00:35:26,633 --> 00:35:27,834 Rape them. 207 00:35:27,966 --> 00:35:28,800 What? 208 00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:31,836 Oh, oh, no! 209 00:35:31,966 --> 00:35:34,168 No, no, no, no, no. What? Oh! 210 00:35:34,266 --> 00:35:35,433 l'm sorry, it -- 211 00:35:35,599 --> 00:35:39,503 Sir, get your mind out of the gutter! 212 00:35:39,599 --> 00:35:40,701 He's a grape. 213 00:35:40,866 --> 00:35:43,134 How is a grape gonna rape a kid? 214 00:35:43,233 --> 00:35:44,434 What are you talking about? 215 00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:45,667 But it sounds like -- 216 00:35:45,766 --> 00:35:47,434 lt's a grape commercial. 217 00:35:47,533 --> 00:35:51,203 l love it. He, like, grapes the kids! 218 00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:54,803 Okay, l mean, if l'm the minority here, 219 00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:57,836 we can keep going. 220 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,167 Come here, kids! 221 00:35:59,266 --> 00:36:02,369 l'm gonna tie you to the radiator and grape you! 222 00:36:02,466 --> 00:36:03,233 Okay. 223 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:04,934 What? Why'd you stop it? 224 00:36:05,433 --> 00:36:08,869 l'm gonna tie you to the radiator and grape you? 225 00:36:09,033 --> 00:36:09,500 What? 226 00:36:09,666 --> 00:36:11,067 l'm going to rape you! 227 00:36:11,233 --> 00:36:11,666 [ Gasps ] 228 00:36:11,766 --> 00:36:13,667 No, that's what it sounds like he's saying. 229 00:36:13,766 --> 00:36:14,933 -l love it! -Really? 230 00:36:15,099 --> 00:36:17,435 Are you back on this rape thing again? 231 00:36:17,599 --> 00:36:20,035 Why was he going to tie them to a radiator? 232 00:36:20,199 --> 00:36:23,202 That's how he grapes people! That's what he does! 233 00:36:23,333 --> 00:36:23,933 No! 234 00:36:24,099 --> 00:36:25,234 He's the Grapist! 235 00:36:25,966 --> 00:36:28,368 The Grapist?! That's his name?! 236 00:36:28,466 --> 00:36:29,900 The Grapist! Classic! 237 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,402 This is obviously a rape scenario. 238 00:36:32,566 --> 00:36:33,767 What? 239 00:36:33,866 --> 00:36:37,603 Why are you trying to twist a children's soda commercial 240 00:36:37,699 --> 00:36:41,937 into your weird, sick, sort of twisted pervy -- 241 00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:44,769 Why were they running? Why was that child screaming, ''Mom!''? 242 00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:47,168 Well, that kid is a horrible actor, 243 00:36:47,266 --> 00:36:48,734 and the next time we shoot the commercial, 244 00:36:48,833 --> 00:36:50,734 we're gonna use somebody else because the thing is -- 245 00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:52,768 These kids were obviously horrified. 246 00:36:52,933 --> 00:36:55,835 Not that girl. Look, she's totally asking for it. 247 00:36:55,966 --> 00:36:57,334 What?! 248 00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:59,969 Look at her. She's begging to get graped. 249 00:37:01,233 --> 00:37:02,968 Will you listen to yourself? 250 00:37:03,133 --> 00:37:04,200 Look what she's wearing. 251 00:37:05,166 --> 00:37:06,901 Look what she's wearing?! 252 00:37:07,366 --> 00:37:09,101 lt's purple! 253 00:37:09,866 --> 00:37:11,834 Oh, okay. 254 00:37:11,933 --> 00:37:13,868 No! No! No! 255 00:37:14,033 --> 00:37:15,667 Grape those kids! l love it! 256 00:37:15,833 --> 00:37:18,302 Look, do you guys want the commercial or not? 257 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,902 Yes, we want the commercial. Of course we want the commercial. 258 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,334 -We want it. -Here's the paperwork. 259 00:37:22,433 --> 00:37:25,102 l just have some serious reservations about this whole thing. 260 00:37:25,199 --> 00:37:25,833 Do you mind? 261 00:37:25,966 --> 00:37:27,067 No, not at all. 262 00:37:27,233 --> 00:37:28,567 [ Children scream ] 263 00:37:28,666 --> 00:37:31,702 ANNOUNCER: Buy some today and get a free grape whistle. 264 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,501 A grape whistle? Really? 265 00:37:33,599 --> 00:37:35,335 G RAPIST: Okay, when l finish graping you, 266 00:37:35,433 --> 00:37:38,435 l'm gonna go upstairs and l'm gonna grape your mother and your father 267 00:37:38,533 --> 00:37:40,902 and then l'm gonna take your whole family down to the basement 268 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,635 and grape you all for decades and decades and decades... . 269 00:37:43,733 --> 00:37:46,168 l think this is too much. l think it's too much. 270 00:37:46,266 --> 00:37:47,533 Shh. 271 00:37:49,466 --> 00:37:50,466 Thanks. 272 00:37:52,566 --> 00:37:55,235 Hey, get me one of those lottery tickets. 273 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:56,968 [ Dog barks ] 274 00:37:57,133 --> 00:37:59,635 ANNOUNCER: New fizzy-Pops Grape Blast.... 275 00:37:59,733 --> 00:38:01,334 Dave, did you take out the trash? 276 00:38:01,433 --> 00:38:04,035 Shh. In a second. 277 00:38:04,133 --> 00:38:07,336 _OST: And now it's time for the Power Slam Pick 7. 278 00:38:07,433 --> 00:38:10,068 Tonigh_s winning numbers are: 279 00:38:10,166 --> 00:38:12,101 6, 280 00:38:12,199 --> 00:38:14,268 1 2, 281 00:38:14,366 --> 00:38:15,900 29. 282 00:38:16,066 --> 00:38:18,067 Whoo! 283 00:38:18,166 --> 00:38:19,734 What are you gonna do with all that money? 284 00:38:19,833 --> 00:38:23,937 Well, l have plans to invest. 285 00:38:24,733 --> 00:38:30,305 Hi, l'd like 35 million Iottery tickets, please. 286 00:38:30,466 --> 00:38:32,634 What are you gonna do with all that money? 287 00:38:32,733 --> 00:38:36,103 l have some more plans to invest. 288 00:38:36,233 --> 00:38:37,701 [ Dog barks ] 289 00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:42,370 _OS_: 69. Saints are playing the Power Slam 7. 290 00:38:42,466 --> 00:38:43,733 You're an idiot, you know that? 291 00:38:43,833 --> 00:38:44,667 Fuck you. 292 00:38:44,766 --> 00:38:46,234 Take out the trash. 293 00:38:51,633 --> 00:38:54,202 Hi. Hello, Ronald Reagan, nice to meet you. 294 00:38:54,300 --> 00:38:56,402 Mr. Reagan, l'm your biggest fan! 295 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,702 l loved that movie where you get drunk with a monkey! 296 00:38:58,866 --> 00:39:02,002 Oh, man. Thanks, sweetheart. Thank you. 297 00:39:02,099 --> 00:39:04,635 Mr. Reagan, now that you're President, are you still gonna make movies? 298 00:39:04,733 --> 00:39:06,801 The President will be very busy serving the country. 299 00:39:06,900 --> 00:39:08,668 l don't think he'll have any time to make any movies. 300 00:39:08,833 --> 00:39:11,101 l don't know about that. l don't know. 301 00:39:11,199 --> 00:39:13,702 Yeah, you're the best, Mr. Reagan! 302 00:39:13,866 --> 00:39:16,368 Sorry, everybody, but the President has to go, okay? 303 00:39:16,466 --> 00:39:20,102 President Reagan, have you seen any movies that you've liked lately? 304 00:39:20,199 --> 00:39:20,767 Well.... 305 00:39:20,866 --> 00:39:23,034 Okay, again, l'm really sorry. We've got to be on our way. 306 00:39:23,199 --> 00:39:25,602 Well, hold on now. l'm talking about the movies. 307 00:39:25,699 --> 00:39:29,003 Now, l quite like those Star Wars movies. 308 00:39:29,099 --> 00:39:31,769 Okay, Mr. President, we have a very important meeting to go to. 309 00:39:31,866 --> 00:39:33,133 Mr. President, would you consider being 310 00:39:33,233 --> 00:39:34,434 in one of those Star Wars movies? 311 00:39:34,533 --> 00:39:37,135 Okay, the President's not gonna be in any Star Wars movies. 312 00:39:37,233 --> 00:39:38,667 Now, now, hold on. 313 00:39:38,766 --> 00:39:43,237 l think l might do a pretty mean Han Solo impersonation. 314 00:39:43,333 --> 00:39:45,835 Watch it, Chewie! There's Stormtroopers around! 315 00:39:45,933 --> 00:39:47,067 [ Cheering ] 316 00:39:47,166 --> 00:39:49,201 Mr. President, we have a very important meeting 317 00:39:49,300 --> 00:39:52,036 about how to stop the unprecedented rise of AIDS this decade! 318 00:39:52,133 --> 00:39:55,002 Oh, fuck all that! l'm talking about the movies! 319 00:39:55,099 --> 00:39:57,635 Yeah! 320 00:39:57,733 --> 00:39:59,201 Movies! 321 00:39:59,766 --> 00:40:01,701 Movies! 322 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,768 Need movies! 323 00:40:03,866 --> 00:40:05,100 Need movies! 324 00:40:05,266 --> 00:40:08,636 Ah, geez. l don't know, Mr. Benji. 325 00:40:08,733 --> 00:40:11,836 There sure are an awful lot of people around him. 326 00:40:11,933 --> 00:40:14,135 And they're probably all gonna be hoppin' mad 327 00:40:14,233 --> 00:40:17,469 if l go and shoot the President of the United States. 328 00:40:17,566 --> 00:40:20,268 What? Nah. 329 00:40:20,366 --> 00:40:23,268 No, they will. They totally will. 330 00:40:23,366 --> 00:40:25,000 They'll be plenty mad. 331 00:40:25,166 --> 00:40:27,735 Then they'll probably all chase me down 332 00:40:27,833 --> 00:40:29,568 and beat me up or something! 333 00:40:29,666 --> 00:40:32,602 No, they won't. People don't like to get involved. 334 00:40:32,699 --> 00:40:35,669 They'll probably just think it was something between you and him. 335 00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:38,935 They'll be like, ''Whoa, not my business!'' 336 00:40:39,033 --> 00:40:40,467 l don't know. 337 00:40:40,566 --> 00:40:42,601 l'm starting to think l'm a crazy person 338 00:40:42,699 --> 00:40:44,601 for even considering something like this. 339 00:40:44,699 --> 00:40:48,203 You? John Hinkley? Crazy? Don't be ridiculous! 340 00:40:48,366 --> 00:40:50,601 Let me tell you what would be crazy. 341 00:40:50,699 --> 00:40:53,402 finding a talking dog on your doorstep one morning 342 00:40:53,500 --> 00:40:56,069 and not doing everything it tells you to do! 343 00:40:56,233 --> 00:40:59,202 Yeah, l guess you're right. 344 00:40:59,366 --> 00:41:00,734 Of course l'm right. 345 00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:02,768 Now don't be a crazy person 346 00:41:02,866 --> 00:41:05,969 and go and shoot the President in the fucking face! 347 00:41:06,066 --> 00:41:09,402 l think he's buying it, Vice President George Bush. 348 00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:10,367 Shh. 349 00:41:10,533 --> 00:41:12,935 Come on, really? Why the hell would you say that? 350 00:41:13,099 --> 00:41:15,702 -Sorry about that, Sir. -You said my name and title. 351 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:17,601 lt sounded so unnatural. 352 00:41:17,699 --> 00:41:19,201 So sorry, Sir. 353 00:41:19,300 --> 00:41:23,404 ''l think he's buying it, Vice President George H.W. Bush. 354 00:41:23,500 --> 00:41:25,969 who lives in Washington D.C.'' 355 00:41:26,133 --> 00:41:27,501 Sorry, Sir. 356 00:41:27,666 --> 00:41:30,368 You're a CIA agent, for Christ's sake! 357 00:41:30,533 --> 00:41:31,800 So sorry. 358 00:41:31,966 --> 00:41:33,534 Shut up! Don't say sorry! 359 00:41:33,699 --> 00:41:34,967 -My B. -Stop it! 360 00:41:35,066 --> 00:41:37,101 -Sorry about that. -No, stop saying sorry! 361 00:41:37,199 --> 00:41:41,103 Don't even say sorry. Just stop talking. 362 00:41:41,199 --> 00:41:42,334 -Sorry. -Stop! 363 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:45,402 Why don't you just read out my entire Social Security Number 364 00:41:45,500 --> 00:41:47,201 while you're at it? Jesus! 365 00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:50,770 Doggie, why do you have two voices? 366 00:41:50,933 --> 00:41:55,637 Nothing, l'm just possessed with demons, like in ''The Exorcist.'' 367 00:41:55,733 --> 00:41:57,668 Oh, my God! 368 00:41:57,766 --> 00:42:02,804 That movie is so scary! 369 00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:04,101 The first time l saw it, 370 00:42:04,199 --> 00:42:07,202 l couldn't watch a little girl sleeping in a bed for months! 371 00:42:07,300 --> 00:42:10,302 Yeah, it was really scary. Now, come on, let's do this shit! 372 00:42:10,466 --> 00:42:12,668 You know what a really scary movie is? 373 00:42:12,766 --> 00:42:15,468 Have you ever seen ''Rosemary's Baby''? 374 00:42:15,566 --> 00:42:17,601 No. John, let's stay focused. 375 00:42:17,699 --> 00:42:20,569 Oh, my God. Doggie, you have to see it! 376 00:42:20,733 --> 00:42:22,734 Okay, Mr. President, we got this budget meeting now. 377 00:42:22,833 --> 00:42:23,833 We really gotta -- 378 00:42:23,933 --> 00:42:26,802 [ Growls ] 379 00:42:28,166 --> 00:42:30,368 That was my Chewbacca impression! 380 00:42:30,466 --> 00:42:33,268 [ Laughter and cheering ] 381 00:42:33,366 --> 00:42:35,935 Mr. Reagan, what are you going to do about the Soviets? 382 00:42:36,033 --> 00:42:42,973 Oh, well, l think l'll tell everyone that they're like the empire! 383 00:42:43,066 --> 00:42:47,069 That way nobody will like them! 384 00:42:47,166 --> 00:42:49,268 Yeah! 385 00:42:49,366 --> 00:42:56,339 And then l'll get NASA to build its own Star Wars weapons! 386 00:42:56,433 --> 00:42:58,968 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 387 00:42:59,066 --> 00:43:02,803 Mr. President, are we getting a Death Star? 388 00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:04,701 Oh, we're getting a Death Star! 389 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,369 [ Cheering ] 390 00:43:07,533 --> 00:43:09,668 And then the shark comes up, and the lady is all like, 391 00:43:09,766 --> 00:43:14,537 ''Aaaaaaggghhhh! Gahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa!'' 392 00:43:14,633 --> 00:43:16,835 And it was so scary. 393 00:43:16,933 --> 00:43:19,168 l don't care. John, listen to me! John! 394 00:43:19,266 --> 00:43:22,369 Like, seriously, top three times scared ever. 395 00:43:22,466 --> 00:43:23,967 Hey, do you want to know what this is from? 396 00:43:24,066 --> 00:43:25,033 No, l don't. 397 00:43:25,133 --> 00:43:26,734 Are you talking to me? 398 00:43:26,833 --> 00:43:27,733 Mo. 399 00:43:27,833 --> 00:43:29,534 'Cause there's nobody else here. 400 00:43:29,633 --> 00:43:31,368 l don't care. 401 00:43:31,466 --> 00:43:34,335 -Then who are you talking to? -l don't care! 402 00:43:34,433 --> 00:43:37,202 John! John Hinkley! Listen to the possessed dog! 403 00:43:37,300 --> 00:43:40,136 lt's from ''Taxi Driver.'' Have you seen that movie? 404 00:43:40,233 --> 00:43:42,468 lt is so good! 405 00:43:42,566 --> 00:43:45,268 Jodie Foster's in it, and she's, like, super cute! 406 00:43:45,366 --> 00:43:47,434 Hey, l know Jodie foster. 407 00:43:47,533 --> 00:43:48,533 You do? 408 00:43:48,633 --> 00:43:50,101 Yeah, and l'll get her to blow you 409 00:43:50,199 --> 00:43:52,335 if you'll shoot the goddamn President in the face 410 00:43:52,433 --> 00:43:54,034 so l can fucking be President! 411 00:43:54,133 --> 00:43:56,435 Okay, sounds good. 412 00:43:57,733 --> 00:44:00,235 [ Gunshots ] 413 00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:04,103 God, people fucking love movies.