1
00:00:33,966 --> 00:00:37,269
Christmas Eve, 1944, deep
in the bunkers of Nazi Germany,

2
00:00:37,366 --> 00:00:39,367
the Yankee troops are closing in
on their target:

3
00:00:39,533 --> 00:00:41,935
Nazi President, Adolf Hitler.

4
00:00:44,766 --> 00:00:47,502
All right, boys, we are one doorway
away from being heroes!

5
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:49,001
lf that is Hitler in there,

6
00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:51,335
when we get back home,
they're gonna name streets after us!

7
00:00:51,433 --> 00:00:53,902
All right.
Broadway, Park, Main, let's do this!

8
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,167
You got it, First Avenue!

9
00:00:55,266 --> 00:00:56,433
lt's primed!

10
00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:59,769
Hitler! We're coming in to get you,
you Jew Bastard!

11
00:00:59,866 --> 00:01:01,801
No, Main! That's not--

12
00:01:01,899 --> 00:01:03,901
Fuck it, whatever!

13
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:08,869
All right, boys, let's do this!
Go! Go! Go!

14
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,635
What in the--?

15
00:01:14,799 --> 00:01:16,067
What the--?

16
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,401
You're under arrest, Hitler!

17
00:01:21,366 --> 00:01:23,634
No! Don't arrest him!
That's Charlie Chaplin!

18
00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:27,402
That's not Charlie Chaplin!
That's fucking Hitler!

19
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:27,967
No, dude!

20
00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:29,701
Hitler doesn't have that hat!

21
00:01:31,066 --> 00:01:31,833
See?

22
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,568
Hitler doesn't walk like that!

23
00:01:33,666 --> 00:01:36,535
Yeah, but this guy's got
the same mustache.

24
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,034
Yeah, but this guy's funny!

25
00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,435
Yeah, yeah, he is pretty funny!

26
00:01:44,599 --> 00:01:46,835
[ Laughing ]

27
00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,567
[ Laughing ]

28
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,234
[ Laughing ]

29
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:54,036
[ Laughing ]

30
00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:57,334
Charlie Chaplin,
what are you doing in this bunker?

31
00:01:57,433 --> 00:02:00,335
Yeah, you shouldn't be in here!
This place is dangerous!

32
00:02:03,299 --> 00:02:04,234
This?

33
00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,200
Heh, heh!

34
00:02:05,366 --> 00:02:06,800
What is he gonna do?

35
00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:10,637
[ Laughing ]

36
00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:12,868
You're the best, Charlie!

37
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:17,170
[ Laughing ]

38
00:02:17,366 --> 00:02:18,433
Aaaagh!

39
00:02:42,433 --> 00:02:45,936
You saved my life again,
Charlie Chaplin.

40
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:50,237
l truly am your biggest fan.

41
00:02:50,333 --> 00:02:54,870
And l truly am your biggest fan,
Adolf Hitler.

42
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:57,635
Best friends!

43
00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:07,434
Tired of the Bible?

44
00:03:07,533 --> 00:03:10,469
Got a whole bunch of young ones
that need to know their Bible stories?

45
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,734
Well, what's a feller to do?

46
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:18,138
Wonder no more! 'Cause now, there's
''Bible Stories With Me, Luther B!''

47
00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:20,869
My 20-part video series
is a must-have

48
00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:22,500
for any church youth group,

49
00:03:22,599 --> 00:03:26,837
vacation bible school,
or even your own rec room!

50
00:03:26,933 --> 00:03:30,236
The Bible's cool again!

51
00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:34,002
Each Bible story is acted out
by yours truly,

52
00:03:34,099 --> 00:03:36,335
and a cast of professional actors!

53
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:39,636
There's all sorts of Bible stories
like ''Adam and Eve''!

54
00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:42,202
Oh, there's no food
in this Garden of Eden!

55
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,001
l'm hungry already.

56
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:47,303
Bye, honey. l've got to go name
all the bears today.

57
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,636
Don't eat anything.

58
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:56,002
Oh, my God, a snake, already.

59
00:03:56,099 --> 00:03:57,568
Get away! Shoo!

60
00:03:57,666 --> 00:04:00,368
But wait.
l have an apple for you to eat.

61
00:04:00,466 --> 00:04:03,168
Featuring the voice talents
of Richard Johnson.

62
00:04:03,266 --> 00:04:06,002
You might remember him
from his three separate appearances

63
00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:10,637
on the hit sitcom, ''Coach '' and the
Mattress Warehouse commercials.

64
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:14,400
Honey!

65
00:04:14,533 --> 00:04:16,801
The snake poisoned the apple!

66
00:04:16,899 --> 00:04:18,768
Aaaagh!

67
00:04:18,933 --> 00:04:20,034
There's ''Noah's Ark''!

68
00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:24,136
Noah, let us in to your arc,
or we'll drown!

69
00:04:24,300 --> 00:04:26,435
God told me not to!

70
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,968
''Daniel in the Lion's Den''!

71
00:04:28,066 --> 00:04:30,868
l'll kill you, lions!
l'll kill you all!

72
00:04:31,033 --> 00:04:31,800
''Jonah and the Whale''!

73
00:04:31,899 --> 00:04:34,402
l hate whales! l hate whales!

74
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:35,167
''David and Goliath''!

75
00:04:35,266 --> 00:04:37,668
No giant's gonna eat my family!

76
00:04:37,766 --> 00:04:39,267
Fee, Fi, Fo--! Oww!

77
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:40,734
And ''Revelations''!

78
00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:44,670
There's monsters everywhere!
Run, God! Run!

79
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:47,135
Stay back! Stay back, Dracula!

80
00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:49,435
You, freeze, Monkey Priest!

81
00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:51,501
Frankenstein, go away!

82
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,035
Raar! Dinosaur!

83
00:04:54,199 --> 00:04:56,635
And if you order the entire set
of videos today

84
00:04:56,733 --> 00:04:58,901
for the low price of $299,

85
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:04,038
we'll throw in the 'Bonus Original
Bible Story,' ''Jesus and the Monkey.''

86
00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:08,403
# l'm sure God has His reasons #

87
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:12,971
# He invented all the seasons #

88
00:05:13,066 --> 00:05:18,571
# So l'm sure that there's a reason #

89
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:22,202
# Why all monkeys #

90
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:27,038
# Go to #

91
00:05:27,133 --> 00:05:30,703
# Hell #

92
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:37,271
Available exclusively
at ''Bible Stories With Me, Luther B!''

93
00:05:37,366 --> 00:05:41,036
So pick up the phone and call
my house today!

94
00:05:42,866 --> 00:05:48,404
You and your cat have a special bond
that no one else can understand.

95
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:52,236
So why not pamper him
with feline Delights?

96
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:57,738
Your cat will enjoy the flavorful
hints of tuna, oyster and salmon.

97
00:05:57,833 --> 00:06:02,938
And you'll receive the affection
you've always desired.

98
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,434
feline Delights.

99
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:12,771
We guarantee your cat will see you
in a whole new light.

100
00:06:23,666 --> 00:06:26,735
l swear l've-- l've never seen
this commercial before.

101
00:06:28,766 --> 00:06:32,302
You-- l really-- l really didn't.

102
00:06:34,699 --> 00:06:36,068
We interrupt ''Mall Bitches''

103
00:06:36,166 --> 00:06:40,470
to bring you this ''Music Channel
Television News Newscast''.

104
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:43,902
Now, here's your host, Blizzard.

105
00:06:44,866 --> 00:06:52,740
Hi, heh, heh, okay, well,
so as everybody knows by now, um,

106
00:06:52,833 --> 00:06:56,036
last night aliens came to Earth,

107
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:59,636
and abducted all the world's
smart people.

108
00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:03,970
So, um, we don't know
when they're coming back.

109
00:07:04,066 --> 00:07:05,233
And, uh,

110
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:10,838
we're pretty much the only news team
that's still around, so uh,

111
00:07:10,933 --> 00:07:15,470
keep it here while we try
to figure out what to do.

112
00:07:15,566 --> 00:07:17,267
Um, also,

113
00:07:17,366 --> 00:07:19,835
sorry about the ''Mall Bitches''
marathon.

114
00:07:19,933 --> 00:07:22,902
Uh, Brian hit a button
in the control room

115
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,202
and that made ''Mall Bitches''
start playing,

116
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:28,536
and it took us a long time
to figure out how to turn it off.

117
00:07:28,633 --> 00:07:31,602
So, really sorry 'bout that.

118
00:07:31,699 --> 00:07:34,402
Anyway, moving on,

119
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:39,137
we go now to tonight's
top news story.

120
00:07:40,133 --> 00:07:45,505
Aliens have abducted
all the world's smart people.

121
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,969
Yeah, l kinda already told you guys
about that,

122
00:07:48,066 --> 00:07:51,269
but that's our top news story.

123
00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:53,067
lt's a pretty big deal.

124
00:07:53,166 --> 00:07:57,937
Never, ever in the history
of anything, ever happening

125
00:07:58,033 --> 00:08:03,938
have Brian or l ever heard about
anything like this happening,

126
00:08:04,033 --> 00:08:08,670
ever before-- Brian, Brian!
That's the one l'm using.

127
00:08:08,766 --> 00:08:11,768
Brian, that's the one l'm using!

128
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,901
[ Brian speaking indistinctly ]

129
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,301
-Yeah, huh.
-BRIAN: Yeah, huh!

130
00:08:15,399 --> 00:08:18,202
Look, the light's on, man!

131
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,935
l'm-- Yeah, see?

132
00:08:21,033 --> 00:08:23,001
That was my camera.

133
00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:24,734
Okay. Thank you.

134
00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:26,634
BRIAN: Stop yelling!

135
00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:29,902
-l'm not yelling!
-BRIAN: Yes, you are.

136
00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:31,934
Sorry about that.

137
00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:36,771
Okay, now we move on
to tonight's second news story.

138
00:08:36,866 --> 00:08:40,669
Ozzfest will be going on as planned
this weekend.

139
00:08:40,766 --> 00:08:43,969
That's right, Ozzfest not affected

140
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:47,269
by the abduction
of all the world's smart people.

141
00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:48,633
So you could go--

142
00:08:48,733 --> 00:08:53,170
Brian, put up the Ozzfest graphic.

143
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,535
-The Ozzfest graphic!
-BRIAN: It's up.

144
00:08:56,866 --> 00:08:59,368
No, it's not!
It's the alien one, man!

145
00:08:59,466 --> 00:09:00,533
BRIAN: What?

146
00:09:00,633 --> 00:09:03,168
-lt's still the alien!
-BRIAN: No, it's not!

147
00:09:03,266 --> 00:09:06,969
Yeah, huh! Look at the monitor!

148
00:09:07,066 --> 00:09:09,134
-l'm look--
-BRIAN: What are you talking about?

149
00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:13,403
Why would l lie about that, man?

150
00:09:13,733 --> 00:09:17,903
Thank you! Okay.

151
00:09:19,333 --> 00:09:21,268
Now put up the Ozzfest graphic!

152
00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:31,533
Oh, my God!

153
00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:33,301
l iust saw Kayla at the mall.

154
00:09:33,399 --> 00:09:34,601
Ugh, she's is such a bitch!

155
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,635
You know, she's secretly
dating Jordan.

156
00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:37,934
Oh, my God! That bitch!

157
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:38,967
l saw them at the mall.

158
00:09:39,066 --> 00:09:41,234
l feel so betrayed right now!

159
00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:44,069
Going to the mall
used to be my and Jordan's thing!

160
00:09:44,166 --> 00:09:45,867
-That bitch!
-That bitch!

161
00:09:45,966 --> 00:09:47,133
What are you gonna do?

162
00:09:47,233 --> 00:09:48,200
l'm gonna go to the mall!

163
00:09:48,299 --> 00:09:49,434
What if you see that bitch
at the mall?

164
00:09:49,533 --> 00:09:52,002
Oh, l want to see that bitch
at the mall!

165
00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:54,568
See? This is it.

166
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:58,669
This is the button
that stops ''Mall Bitches.''

167
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,701
Brian, pay attention!

168
00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:05,804
The button that starts ''Mall Bitches''
stops ''Mall Bitches.''

169
00:10:05,899 --> 00:10:08,869
Really should have been
the first button you checked.

170
00:10:08,966 --> 00:10:14,071
God! Sometimes l don't know
why l wasn't abducted!

171
00:10:14,399 --> 00:10:16,635
Hi, bitch! l heard about you
and Jordan at the mall.

172
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,267
Whatcha talking about, bitch?

173
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:20,568
Oh, don't play dumb, bitch!
Ceedra told me everything!

174
00:10:20,799 --> 00:10:22,902
Oh, my God! What a bitch!

175
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:24,267
You're the bitch!

176
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,234
You're the bitch!

177
00:10:25,466 --> 00:10:26,166
You're a bitch!

178
00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:27,734
You're the biggest bitch l know!

179
00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:30,668
l'm going to the mall!

180
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:39,668
Woooo-weeeee!
l'm Big Mitch Huggins,

181
00:10:39,399 --> 00:10:42,136
owner and spokesman
of Huggins Family Auto Dealership!

182
00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:43,834
Come on down this Saturday

183
00:10:44,033 --> 00:10:46,535
for our Father's Day
Blow Out Extravaganza!

184
00:10:46,766 --> 00:10:47,766
And to celebrate Father's Day,

185
00:10:47,866 --> 00:10:49,167
l'm gonna have my boys

186
00:10:49,266 --> 00:10:51,568
show you around the lot.

187
00:10:51,666 --> 00:10:53,234
Take it away, buckaroos!

188
00:10:54,833 --> 00:11:01,539
So we got this car, we got that car,
we got this car,

189
00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:02,900
that car...

190
00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:06,201
This car is a....

191
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,468
lt's a van.

192
00:11:08,566 --> 00:11:11,035
You can smoke in it.

193
00:11:11,399 --> 00:11:13,068
At most other car dealerships,

194
00:11:13,166 --> 00:11:17,169
you're probably sick and tired
of being treated like this!

195
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:24,070
Hello, customer.
What can l do ya for?

196
00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:27,369
My family and l need a new car,
but l, like,

197
00:11:27,466 --> 00:11:29,935
don't have good credit, or something.

198
00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:34,270
Denied! Take a hike, ierk!

199
00:11:34,366 --> 00:11:37,602
Then come on down
to Huggins Family Auto Dealership,

200
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:41,470
where you'll be treated like this!

201
00:11:43,866 --> 00:11:46,301
So... all that stuff
about my credit again.

202
00:11:46,399 --> 00:11:50,670
Well, that's no problem here, son!
You got yourself a deal!

203
00:11:50,766 --> 00:11:54,503
And here's a free bumper sticker!

204
00:11:56,399 --> 00:11:58,869
That's right, with every car
or truck that you buy,

205
00:11:58,966 --> 00:12:01,868
you get a free bumper sticker.

206
00:12:02,799 --> 00:12:05,002
So get your behinds down here
this Saturday,

207
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:08,336
for our Father's Day
Blowout Extravaganza!

208
00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:14,205
'Cause here at Huggins family,
we treat you like family!

209
00:12:14,299 --> 00:12:15,467
-Dad!
-Ugh!

210
00:12:15,566 --> 00:12:18,402
Wrap 'er up boys, wrap 'er up!

211
00:12:18,533 --> 00:12:21,602
So, come on down
this Saturday for...

212
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,867
-Brian!
-What?

213
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:27,270
So come on down this Saturday
to our Father's Day Blowout Bonanza,

214
00:12:27,366 --> 00:12:29,768
at Huggins Car Store...

215
00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:30,566
Fuck it.

216
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:32,167
Derrick!

217
00:12:41,899 --> 00:12:44,102
So, what do you wanna do tonight?

218
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,634
l don't know.

219
00:12:45,733 --> 00:12:47,434
Let's go to a bar.

220
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:53,071
Yeah, right. How are we
gonna get into a bar?

221
00:12:53,166 --> 00:12:55,735
-Hmm...
-Hmm...

222
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,936
Have your l.D.s out.

223
00:13:08,299 --> 00:13:15,707
Hello, sir! l would like two tickets--
l mean one ticket to the bar please.

224
00:13:16,133 --> 00:13:18,802
You don't need tickets.
You just need ID.

225
00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:25,272
Oh! Um, l seem to have left
my identification at home.

226
00:13:25,733 --> 00:13:27,835
But look how tall l am!

227
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:33,672
l really doubt that someone of my
height would be underage to drink.

228
00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:37,302
Yeah, you're pretty tall.

229
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,167
All right.

230
00:13:38,399 --> 00:13:39,801
-Thank you!
-Thank you!

231
00:13:44,566 --> 00:13:47,468
Awesome, we're in!

232
00:13:48,866 --> 00:13:50,334
Oh, hello.

233
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:51,500
How's it going?

234
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,368
Hello, fellow bar patrons.

235
00:13:57,566 --> 00:13:58,400
What'll it be?

236
00:13:58,866 --> 00:14:02,302
l would like one piña colada please.

237
00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:11,235
One piña colada.

238
00:14:18,033 --> 00:14:20,135
Mm-mm...

239
00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:23,369
Ah, and one more, please.

240
00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:33,833
Ahm...

241
00:14:33,966 --> 00:14:37,703
And one more, please.

242
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:40,835
This one's from the lady
at the end of the bar.

243
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,169
Ahm, hi.

244
00:14:55,266 --> 00:14:58,068
Thank you for buying me a drink.

245
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,334
Don't mention it.

246
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:07,640
So, um, are you really that tall?

247
00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:11,770
Yes. Are you really that tall?

248
00:15:12,233 --> 00:15:16,737
-Um, absolutely.
-Of course.

249
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,200
Good.

250
00:15:18,933 --> 00:15:22,670
You know, l think it's so difficult
to meet other tall people these days.

251
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:28,338
lt is. It really, really is.

252
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,602
So, do you wanna...

253
00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:33,768
ask me to dance?

254
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:38,636
Um, sure.

255
00:15:38,733 --> 00:15:41,102
Let's go dance.

256
00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:52,033
Here.

257
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:52,700
And go!

258
00:15:52,799 --> 00:15:55,369
Oh, that was pretty good!

259
00:15:55,466 --> 00:15:57,634
l am iust having the best time.

260
00:15:57,866 --> 00:15:58,933
Me too.

261
00:15:59,533 --> 00:16:01,835
And, ah, l was wondering if...

262
00:16:01,933 --> 00:16:04,535
maybe you'd wanna come back
to my place later?

263
00:16:04,799 --> 00:16:07,869
For a nightcap?

264
00:16:08,966 --> 00:16:10,334
[ Clears throat ]

265
00:16:10,866 --> 00:16:12,067
Um...

266
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:17,371
Yeah, sure.
That sounds like a great idea.

267
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,600
Great.

268
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:22,236
Um, l iust need to use
the rest room first.

269
00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:23,400
Sure.

270
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:29,403
Man, this is going great.
l think she really likes us.

271
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:31,235
l wanna be on top now.

272
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,535
Well, l would trade places
with you, buddy,

273
00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:36,168
but l kinda think she'd notice now.

274
00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:38,101
What? We look the same!

275
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:41,202
Yeah, we look the same,
but our voices are different.

276
00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:44,035
Oh, yeah. This sucks.

277
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:47,769
We're about to get laid tonight,
and you're gonna have all the fun.

278
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,603
Dude! Think about it!
You're on the bottom!

279
00:16:51,833 --> 00:16:53,568
Oh, yeah!

280
00:16:53,666 --> 00:16:54,733
Oh, wait!

281
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:58,469
Since we look so tall, she's probably
gonna expect a huge penis!

282
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:02,670
You're right!
Her vagina must be gargantuan!

283
00:17:02,766 --> 00:17:04,234
What are we gonna do?

284
00:17:04,466 --> 00:17:05,099
Wait a minute!

285
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:05,900
J
We look so tall

286
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:08,869
he's probably going to be expecting
a gargantuan vagina!

287
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,635
You're right!
His penis must be huge!

288
00:17:11,733 --> 00:17:13,201
What are we going to do?

289
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,433
l don't wanna be
on the bottom anymore!

290
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,468
l don't wanna be on the bottom!

291
00:17:20,933 --> 00:17:22,100
Ooh!

292
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,304
So, this is my place.

293
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:30,269
Listen, before things go any further,

294
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:34,103
l feel that there's something
that l should tell you.

295
00:17:35,233 --> 00:17:38,102
l have a little bit
of a confession to make.

296
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:41,235
Really? What is it?

297
00:17:41,466 --> 00:17:44,902
Well, and l know
l should have told you this

298
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:48,603
right after l first met you, but...

299
00:17:50,299 --> 00:17:54,704
l like to have sex with my coat on.

300
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:57,134
Oh!

301
00:17:57,233 --> 00:17:59,602
That's great! l do too!

302
00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:01,467
And standing up.

303
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:03,401
l have no problem with that.

304
00:18:03,566 --> 00:18:05,000
[ Exhales deeply ]

305
00:18:05,099 --> 00:18:06,067
-Really?
-Yeah.

306
00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:08,401
Uh, wow!

307
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,768
Okay, then, um...

308
00:18:10,866 --> 00:18:13,368
Let's do this thing!

309
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:17,003
l guess l'll iust pull out
my big penis, here.

310
00:18:17,466 --> 00:18:19,100
-Oh! There he is!
-Oh!

311
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,133
Okay.

312
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,635
-Wow!
-Al l rig ht.

313
00:18:22,866 --> 00:18:27,003
l guess l'll... whip out my vagina!

314
00:18:28,766 --> 00:18:29,900
Wohoo-hoo-hoo!

315
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,168
Okay, here we go!

316
00:18:32,266 --> 00:18:34,468
-Woah!
-Woah!

317
00:18:34,566 --> 00:18:35,266
Here we go!

318
00:18:35,366 --> 00:18:37,367
-Woah!
-Woah!

319
00:18:37,599 --> 00:18:41,036
-Woah!
-Woah!

320
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,535
-Yeeow!
-Yeeow!

321
00:18:44,766 --> 00:18:45,700
Ooh! Ooh!

322
00:18:45,933 --> 00:18:49,469
Ohh! Oooh! Ohh!

323
00:18:57,566 --> 00:18:59,668
Clear. Form up on me.

324
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,401
-Got contact?
-Yeah.

325
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,168
We got two bogies
on the west side of the barn.

326
00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:07,968
Looks like a heavy machine gun unit
and some infantry.

327
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,069
Shit! There's a sniper in the barn.

328
00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:13,368
Good thing he doesn't see us yet.

329
00:19:13,466 --> 00:19:14,834
Fucking noobs.

330
00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:15,900
Okay, here's the plan.

331
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,202
On the count of three
you take out that sniper.

332
00:19:18,299 --> 00:19:21,002
DaBears and l will go
after the machine gunners.

333
00:19:22,666 --> 00:19:23,833
Got that?

334
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:25,134
Mom!

335
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:26,133
DaBears!

336
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:27,934
Mom, can l have a sandwich?

337
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:29,734
DaBears, shut up!

338
00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:32,001
l don't know.
Peanut butter and jelly.

339
00:19:32,099 --> 00:19:33,801
Fucking Christ, DaBears!

340
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:34,300
What?

341
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,835
DaBears, shut up
and play the fucking game.

342
00:19:37,066 --> 00:19:39,435
l'm getting my mom to make me
a sandwich, you guys.

343
00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:40,500
Look, whatever.

344
00:19:40,599 --> 00:19:41,801
Now, on the count of three

345
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:44,302
we're gonna take out
those gunners by the barn.

346
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,834
l don't see them.

347
00:19:45,933 --> 00:19:48,068
Use your radar.

348
00:19:48,299 --> 00:19:49,134
No! Not us!

349
00:19:49,366 --> 00:19:50,934
Look where l'm looking.

350
00:19:51,033 --> 00:19:54,269
Ooooooh.

351
00:19:54,966 --> 00:19:56,033
l'll get it!

352
00:19:56,133 --> 00:19:57,868
What? You'll get what?

353
00:19:57,966 --> 00:19:58,833
Hello?

354
00:19:59,066 --> 00:20:00,133
Oh, my God!
Get off the phone.

355
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:00,866
Mom!

356
00:20:02,299 --> 00:20:04,502
Phone!

357
00:20:04,599 --> 00:20:06,101
lt's Mrs. McGlaughlin!

358
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,500
-God!
-What?

359
00:20:07,733 --> 00:20:09,634
No.

360
00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:11,668
No!

361
00:20:11,766 --> 00:20:14,135
No, Mom!

362
00:20:16,099 --> 00:20:17,601
l wasn't even there!

363
00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:18,700
Turn your fucking mic off.

364
00:20:18,933 --> 00:20:20,334
l wasn't even there!

365
00:20:20,566 --> 00:20:21,633
Mom, oh, my God!

366
00:20:21,733 --> 00:20:24,001
DaBears, turn your mic off.

367
00:20:24,233 --> 00:20:27,002
Oh, my God!

368
00:20:27,099 --> 00:20:28,601
l wasn't even there!

369
00:20:30,599 --> 00:20:32,268
Well, Caleb's a liar!

370
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,401
Shut your fucking mic off!

371
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,703
Mom, you always do this!

372
00:20:40,133 --> 00:20:41,734
Mon, you always do this.

373
00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:43,067
That's it, l'm backing out.

374
00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:43,967
Dude, don't quit.

375
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,234
No, l'm backing out.
l'm going back to the lobby.

376
00:20:45,466 --> 00:20:46,667
Dude!

377
00:20:48,366 --> 00:20:51,035
Fuck, man.

378
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:52,567
Guys?

379
00:20:52,666 --> 00:20:54,367
Guys?

380
00:20:54,466 --> 00:20:56,134
Guys?

381
00:20:56,233 --> 00:20:58,468
Guys!

382
00:21:00,666 --> 00:21:06,038
# When l was just a child
before l would turn out the light #

383
00:21:05,966 --> 00:21:08,635
# l'd kneel beside my bed #

384
00:21:08,866 --> 00:21:12,236
# And say my prayers every night #

385
00:21:12,466 --> 00:21:14,835
# Ask God to keep me safe #

386
00:21:14,933 --> 00:21:18,136
# And keep everything all right #

387
00:21:18,366 --> 00:21:27,374
# Then l'd be real still and quiet
until l could hear his reply #

388
00:21:27,466 --> 00:21:30,168
# And God said, ''Wash your hands'' #

389
00:21:30,266 --> 00:21:33,002
# Or your family will die #

390
00:21:33,533 --> 00:21:36,302
# And Grandpa will get cancer #

391
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,636
# If you don't touch the stove
three times #

392
00:21:39,733 --> 00:21:41,734
# Your dog will run away #

393
00:21:41,966 --> 00:21:45,936
# If you ever tell a lie #

394
00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:51,938
# Nobody understands
when God says, ''Wash your hands'' #

395
00:21:52,033 --> 00:21:58,439
# When God says, ''Wash your hands''
God says wash your hands #

396
00:22:02,766 --> 00:22:04,834
# Now as the years went by #

397
00:22:05,066 --> 00:22:08,803
# God stood by me
through the thin and thick #

398
00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:11,702
# Though it seems
that with His age #

399
00:22:11,799 --> 00:22:14,869
# The Good Lord's gone
a tad eccentric #

400
00:22:15,099 --> 00:22:17,735
# Why l need to save my pee #

401
00:22:17,966 --> 00:22:21,002
# l don't understand a lick #

402
00:22:21,233 --> 00:22:24,235
# But it's better, l bet, than to live
with regret #

403
00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:30,405
# So l guess l'd better do it #

404
00:22:30,633 --> 00:22:36,538
# 'Cause God said, ''Stay inside
or get flesh-eating disease'' #

405
00:22:36,766 --> 00:22:39,902
# l'll totally make
some kid retarded #

406
00:22:40,133 --> 00:22:43,536
# If you don't throw salt
when you sneeze #

407
00:22:43,766 --> 00:22:48,337
# And you'll never get to heaven
unless you kill Bill Bellamy #

408
00:22:49,099 --> 00:22:51,902
# Nobody understands #

409
00:22:52,133 --> 00:22:55,269
# When God says,
''Wash your hands'' #

410
00:22:55,366 --> 00:22:58,035
# Nobody understands #

411
00:22:58,266 --> 00:23:01,068
# When God says,
''Wash your hands'' #

412
00:23:01,166 --> 00:23:04,135
# And l hope that it's all wrong #

413
00:23:04,366 --> 00:23:07,335
# 'Cause God said,
''Don't sing this song'' #

414
00:23:07,566 --> 00:23:10,435
# And l hope that it's all wrong #

415
00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:17,639
# 'Cause God said,
''Don't sing this song'' #