1 00:00:14,741 --> 00:00:17,210 Good morning, Mr. Nichols. 2 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,510 -How are we doing today? -Pretty good, pretty good. 3 00:00:19,608 --> 00:00:20,241 Good. Good. 4 00:00:20,408 --> 00:00:21,809 Are you a doctor? 5 00:00:22,675 --> 00:00:23,842 -Yes, l am. -Okay. 6 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,842 And you're here for some cosmetic surgery. 7 00:00:25,941 --> 00:00:27,108 -ls that correct? -Yep. 8 00:00:27,208 --> 00:00:29,310 l see, and what are the problem areas? 9 00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:33,145 Uhh, l want to have my face taken off, 10 00:00:33,308 --> 00:00:35,677 so that you remove the skin and muscle, 11 00:00:35,775 --> 00:00:37,109 so that my face is gone 12 00:00:37,208 --> 00:00:40,477 and instead l iust have my skull as my face. 13 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,808 What? 14 00:00:41,974 --> 00:00:43,376 l want you to take my face off. 15 00:00:43,474 --> 00:00:44,676 Take, like, all this off. 16 00:00:44,775 --> 00:00:47,878 l want you to take, like, my face off. 17 00:00:47,974 --> 00:00:50,210 You want me to take your whole face off? 18 00:00:50,375 --> 00:00:51,676 No, no, no! No, not the whole thing. 19 00:00:51,775 --> 00:00:53,943 l want you to take off from here. Like, take off all this. 20 00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:55,509 Take off the skin. Take off the muscles. 21 00:00:55,608 --> 00:00:57,643 Leave the eyeballs, so l can look around. 22 00:00:57,741 --> 00:00:59,509 And then leave, like, the muscles down here. 23 00:00:59,608 --> 00:01:02,944 Like, leave the iaw muscles, so l can go, like, ''Well.'' 24 00:01:03,041 --> 00:01:05,009 Like, ''Well.'' 25 00:01:05,108 --> 00:01:06,342 l don't understand. 26 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:07,608 Like, leave the muscles here. 27 00:01:07,708 --> 00:01:10,277 Like here and here, so l could still open my mouth, like.... 28 00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:13,277 l can still open my mouth and go, like, ''Well '' like in a song. 29 00:01:13,375 --> 00:01:14,542 Like, ''Well.'' 30 00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:15,975 You know how songs begin like, 31 00:01:16,074 --> 00:01:18,744 Well, l got no face And l'm here to say 32 00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:21,110 Come down And buy a used car today 33 00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:25,078 for deals that are really Gonna make you smile 34 00:01:25,175 --> 00:01:30,813 At Bill Price dealership 35 00:01:31,641 --> 00:01:32,541 Labor Day! 36 00:01:33,208 --> 00:01:34,108 Wait a minute. 37 00:01:34,275 --> 00:01:36,110 Do you want me to cut your face off, 38 00:01:36,208 --> 00:01:38,410 so that you can pitch yourself as a mascot 39 00:01:38,508 --> 00:01:40,109 in some sort of car commercial? 40 00:01:40,208 --> 00:01:41,409 Yep. l'm the grim dealer, 41 00:01:41,508 --> 00:01:43,409 and if you don't buy a used car or truck from me, 42 00:01:43,508 --> 00:01:46,310 then you're better off dead. 43 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,643 Okay, l don't think you need to cut your face off to do that. 44 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,609 No, l do, 'cause of the part in the song where it's like, 45 00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:51,575 Well, l got no face 46 00:01:51,675 --> 00:01:53,910 Right. No, l understand that. l'm just not gonna do it. 47 00:01:54,008 --> 00:01:55,642 -Oh, come on. -No. It's not safe. 48 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:56,641 -Please? -No. 49 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:57,808 -Please? -No, sir. 50 00:01:57,908 --> 00:01:58,808 -Come on. -No! 51 00:01:58,908 --> 00:02:02,645 Pleeeease? 52 00:02:02,741 --> 00:02:03,942 Okay, fine. 53 00:02:04,108 --> 00:02:04,741 Yes! 54 00:02:07,856 --> 00:02:19,696 English Subs : Arkfeller 55 00:02:22,889 --> 00:02:30,680 Re-Synchronization : Condemned 56 00:02:43,441 --> 00:02:45,176 Oh, my God. The ship's taking on water. 57 00:02:45,275 --> 00:02:46,876 This is the end of the Esmeralda! 58 00:02:46,974 --> 00:02:50,445 l'd say we have 20 or 30 minutes left before we're completely submerged. 59 00:02:50,541 --> 00:02:52,476 All the lifeboats and life vests are gone! 60 00:02:52,574 --> 00:02:54,777 They were taken out in the explosion! Damn it! 61 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,409 All we can do now is pray to God 62 00:02:56,508 --> 00:02:58,710 that the ship's maintenance man can repair the damage. 63 00:02:58,808 --> 00:03:01,043 Well, Clark's in there right now. 64 00:03:01,141 --> 00:03:03,543 -Clark! -Clark! 65 00:03:03,675 --> 00:03:06,044 Well, it's definitely the fuel pump. 66 00:03:06,175 --> 00:03:07,676 -What does that mean? -Can you fix it, Clark? 67 00:03:07,775 --> 00:03:10,344 Yeah. Let me iust go get my fuel-pump factory. 68 00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:12,176 No. It's shot. 69 00:03:12,341 --> 00:03:13,608 Oh, God, no. 70 00:03:13,708 --> 00:03:15,476 l'm surprised you guys made it this far. 71 00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:17,076 l don't know why you guys decided 72 00:03:17,175 --> 00:03:19,143 to go out into open water with that fuel pump. 73 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,142 l've seen boats 1 2 years older than this one 74 00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:22,742 with much better internal organs. 75 00:03:22,841 --> 00:03:23,875 So, what do we do? 76 00:03:23,974 --> 00:03:27,345 Well, you're supposed to change your fuel pump every 4 years. 77 00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,109 That's why these things happen. 78 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:31,276 Okay. Clark, can you fix it? 79 00:03:31,408 --> 00:03:34,177 l'm working on it. 80 00:03:34,308 --> 00:03:36,643 My God, l hope he can fix that pump. 81 00:03:36,808 --> 00:03:38,442 Oh! The water's coming through the door! 82 00:03:38,541 --> 00:03:39,441 Radio for help! 83 00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:42,210 No, the radio's completely fried! We're all gonna die! 84 00:03:42,308 --> 00:03:44,309 And we're way off of our charted course. 85 00:03:44,408 --> 00:03:46,476 No one's gonna think to look for us here! 86 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,843 -Clark! -Clark! 87 00:03:48,941 --> 00:03:51,543 l don't know what you guys were planning on doing 88 00:03:51,641 --> 00:03:52,742 if l wasn't here. 89 00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,610 -Did you fix it, Clark? -No. 90 00:03:55,708 --> 00:03:57,309 Then what are you doing? 91 00:03:57,408 --> 00:03:59,042 l'm taking a break. 92 00:03:59,141 --> 00:04:01,276 Clark, this is important. 93 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,209 Do you want to go try to fix it? 94 00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:06,478 l mean, l'm sure you know your way around a class-5 yacht's boiler room. 95 00:04:06,574 --> 00:04:09,210 l'm sure you picked that up in passenger school. 96 00:04:09,308 --> 00:04:11,076 Clark, we might die. 97 00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,409 Yeah, you might, 98 00:04:12,508 --> 00:04:15,077 'cause you don't practice good boiler maintenance. 99 00:04:16,408 --> 00:04:18,777 l'm gonna go back to work. 100 00:04:20,508 --> 00:04:22,676 Oh, my God! The water's up to our knees now! 101 00:04:22,775 --> 00:04:24,776 l never said good-bye to my family. 102 00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:27,077 So much more l wanted to accomplish. 103 00:04:27,175 --> 00:04:29,877 Dear God, please steady Clark's hand 104 00:04:29,974 --> 00:04:31,076 and give him a keen eye. 105 00:04:31,208 --> 00:04:34,144 Hey, come here. l want to show you something. 106 00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:35,509 -What? -Come here. 107 00:04:37,974 --> 00:04:39,176 What? 108 00:04:39,308 --> 00:04:40,242 You know what this is? 109 00:04:41,241 --> 00:04:42,508 This is your insulator ring. 110 00:04:42,608 --> 00:04:43,608 What? 111 00:04:43,775 --> 00:04:45,109 See how worn through that is right there? 112 00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:46,776 lt looks bad. 113 00:04:46,875 --> 00:04:47,942 Yeah. It looks bad. 114 00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:49,375 That's 1 2 years of damage. 115 00:04:49,474 --> 00:04:51,810 This is what a normal insulator ring looks like. 116 00:04:51,908 --> 00:04:53,576 You see that? See the difference? 117 00:04:53,675 --> 00:04:55,710 Well, Clark, why don't you replace the bad insulator ring 118 00:04:55,808 --> 00:04:56,909 with the good insulator ring? 119 00:04:57,675 --> 00:05:00,110 That's a great idea, passenger, 120 00:05:00,275 --> 00:05:02,343 'cause l'm sure that when we take the new insulator ring 121 00:05:02,441 --> 00:05:03,675 and put it where the other one was, 122 00:05:03,775 --> 00:05:05,943 it's gonna magically undo all the damage from the explosion 123 00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:07,742 when the first one wore through. 124 00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:09,709 Okay, Clark, we don't know anything 125 00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:11,676 about insulator rings or fuel pumps. 126 00:05:11,775 --> 00:05:13,910 -That's your iob. -Yeah. That's my job. 127 00:05:14,008 --> 00:05:18,278 But you do realize that we are literally in the same boat here? 128 00:05:19,775 --> 00:05:21,943 l don't quite think we're in the same boat. 129 00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:24,276 What? You're gonna die, too, if this thing sinks. 130 00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:26,944 Oh. So, now you're doing me a favor? 131 00:05:27,108 --> 00:05:28,108 That's not what l was saying. 132 00:05:28,208 --> 00:05:30,343 l'm gonna go back to work, okay? 133 00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:38,577 We need to turn off the electricity to the main cabin 134 00:05:38,675 --> 00:05:40,209 before we all get electrocuted! 135 00:05:40,308 --> 00:05:42,109 No, the switch is in the forward compartment. 136 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:43,742 lt's completely flooded with water. 137 00:05:43,841 --> 00:05:46,310 Do we have any flares? We could fire one out the porthole. 138 00:05:46,408 --> 00:05:47,809 All the flares are soaked through. 139 00:05:47,908 --> 00:05:50,310 Besides, there's no one around for miles to see us anyways. 140 00:05:50,408 --> 00:05:53,778 Oh, God. Please hurry, Clark. It's almost too late! 141 00:05:53,908 --> 00:05:57,711 Clark, please tell me that means that you fixed it. 142 00:05:59,175 --> 00:06:01,010 The problem's not just the fuel pump. 143 00:06:01,175 --> 00:06:03,410 All the pipes in the filtration system have corroded. 144 00:06:03,508 --> 00:06:04,208 Oh, God. 145 00:06:04,308 --> 00:06:05,742 But that's my specialty. 146 00:06:05,841 --> 00:06:07,709 -So, you fixed it! -Not exactly. 147 00:06:08,074 --> 00:06:09,843 Clark, is the boat gonna stop sinking? 148 00:06:09,941 --> 00:06:11,142 Eventually. 149 00:06:11,275 --> 00:06:13,744 Clark, are we all gonna die? 150 00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:14,741 Everyone's gonna die. 151 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,609 No fuel-pump technician in the world's gonna help you out 152 00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:17,241 with that one. 153 00:06:17,341 --> 00:06:18,508 That's between you and the big J.C. 154 00:06:18,608 --> 00:06:20,810 Clark, can you save the ship or not? 155 00:06:20,908 --> 00:06:23,076 Well, that is what you hired me to do. 156 00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,442 -So, you did. -So, you did. 157 00:06:24,541 --> 00:06:26,342 But you can hire all the repairmen in the world, 158 00:06:26,441 --> 00:06:28,209 and it's not gonna keep your ship from sinking 159 00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:29,942 unless you practice proper maintenance 160 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,242 of its inner workings. 161 00:06:31,341 --> 00:06:32,542 So, you didn't. 162 00:06:32,708 --> 00:06:34,276 -l did not say that. -So, you did. 163 00:06:34,375 --> 00:06:35,743 And l most certainly did not say that. 164 00:06:35,841 --> 00:06:36,975 Son of a bitch, Clark! 165 00:06:37,074 --> 00:06:38,709 Truth of the matter is there's no point. 166 00:06:38,808 --> 00:06:41,177 lt's gonna cost you more in parts and labor to fix the thing 167 00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:42,609 than to iust replace the whole system, 168 00:06:42,708 --> 00:06:43,742 and l don't do installation. 169 00:06:43,841 --> 00:06:44,942 So, we're gonna drown! 170 00:06:45,041 --> 00:06:46,242 l normally don't do installation. 171 00:06:46,408 --> 00:06:48,543 -So, you will. -And tonight is no exception. 172 00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:50,209 l'm gonna be honest with you guys. 173 00:06:50,308 --> 00:06:52,543 You're probably gonna be drowning in a couple of minutes. 174 00:06:52,641 --> 00:06:54,109 There's a lot of ways to kick the bucket, 175 00:06:54,208 --> 00:06:56,410 and drowning's probably the worst. 176 00:06:56,508 --> 00:06:58,543 A lot of pain. A lot of waiting. 177 00:06:58,708 --> 00:06:59,742 Oh, sweet God! 178 00:06:59,908 --> 00:07:01,342 There's a paring knife right over there. 179 00:07:01,441 --> 00:07:04,343 lf l were you guys, l'd take the easy way out. 180 00:07:10,441 --> 00:07:11,708 He's right, though. 181 00:07:11,841 --> 00:07:14,910 Studies have shown that drowning is like the most horrible way to die. 182 00:07:15,008 --> 00:07:17,143 -What's the best? -l heard stomach cancer. 183 00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:18,241 l think that's true. 184 00:07:18,341 --> 00:07:20,810 l don't want to drown, but l can't kill myself. 185 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,309 Darling, l need you to do it. 186 00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:23,308 No! l could never. 187 00:07:23,408 --> 00:07:24,509 l'll do it. Where's the knife? 188 00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:27,010 Just hold on a second. 189 00:07:27,108 --> 00:07:28,509 All right, l'll do it. 190 00:07:28,608 --> 00:07:29,809 Okay. 191 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:30,908 You look at me. 192 00:07:31,541 --> 00:07:33,175 -l love you. -l love you. 193 00:07:33,275 --> 00:07:34,643 Okay. Wait for me. 194 00:07:34,741 --> 00:07:37,310 Wait for me at the gates. l'll be right behind you. 195 00:07:37,408 --> 00:07:39,743 Okay. Stab hard enough to get through my sternum. 196 00:07:39,841 --> 00:07:42,043 -Don't take your eyes off of me. -Okay. 197 00:07:42,141 --> 00:07:43,876 Harder! Harder! 198 00:07:45,441 --> 00:07:47,543 Oh, God. 199 00:07:49,441 --> 00:07:51,009 Well, l fixed it. 200 00:07:51,108 --> 00:07:52,576 Turns out it was iust unplugged. 201 00:07:53,775 --> 00:07:54,542 What? 202 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,708 Well, not unplugged. 203 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,744 lt was plugged into a power strip, but the power strip was turned off, 204 00:07:58,841 --> 00:08:01,843 so at first glance, it looked like it was plugged in. 205 00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:05,211 Geez. What happened to her? 206 00:08:05,308 --> 00:08:07,576 Hope that was stomach cancer. 207 00:08:07,675 --> 00:08:09,510 Well, that about wraps it up, folks. 208 00:08:09,608 --> 00:08:10,642 Good night. 209 00:08:12,541 --> 00:08:13,708 Fuck you! 210 00:08:13,808 --> 00:08:16,610 Wraps what up? 211 00:08:17,508 --> 00:08:19,576 Nothing. Don't worry about it. 212 00:08:21,974 --> 00:08:23,609 lNSTRUCTOR: All right, let's begin 213 00:08:23,708 --> 00:08:24,975 by easing out into traffic. 214 00:08:25,074 --> 00:08:26,075 GIRL: Okay. 215 00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:27,808 Be careful. 216 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:28,842 They have the right of way. 217 00:08:28,941 --> 00:08:29,941 GIRL: Okay. 218 00:08:31,275 --> 00:08:32,643 Maintain the speed limit. 219 00:08:32,741 --> 00:08:34,075 Hands at 1 O:OO and 2:OO. 220 00:08:34,175 --> 00:08:35,175 Okay. 221 00:08:35,608 --> 00:08:36,942 Now, let's change lanes. 222 00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:38,041 Use your blinker. 223 00:08:38,141 --> 00:08:39,041 GIRL: Okay. 224 00:08:39,141 --> 00:08:40,509 And ease on in. 225 00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:41,942 GIRL: Okay. 226 00:08:42,741 --> 00:08:44,375 Now let's make a left-hand turn 227 00:08:44,474 --> 00:08:45,676 onto county road 6. 228 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,209 GIRL: Okay. 229 00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,076 And we'll go up this hill here. 230 00:08:49,175 --> 00:08:50,976 GIRL: Okay. 231 00:08:51,074 --> 00:08:52,876 Little more on the accelerator. 232 00:08:52,974 --> 00:08:54,042 GIRL: Okay. 233 00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:55,175 There we go. 234 00:08:56,541 --> 00:08:57,775 And we'll iust pull up here 235 00:08:57,875 --> 00:08:58,842 at the overlook. 236 00:08:58,941 --> 00:09:00,275 GIRL: Okay. 237 00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:01,676 And we'll put it in park. 238 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:02,742 GIRL: Okay. 239 00:09:02,841 --> 00:09:04,475 And let's iust relax a minute 240 00:09:04,574 --> 00:09:05,842 and take all of this in. 241 00:09:05,941 --> 00:09:07,342 GIRL: Okay. 242 00:09:07,441 --> 00:09:08,542 l'm gonna go ahead 243 00:09:08,641 --> 00:09:10,009 and put my arm around you. 244 00:09:10,108 --> 00:09:11,275 GIRL: Okay. 245 00:09:11,375 --> 00:09:13,009 And maybe we'll get rid of that. 246 00:09:13,108 --> 00:09:14,042 GIRL: Okay. 247 00:09:14,141 --> 00:09:16,276 And maybe l'll iust take this guy out. 248 00:09:16,375 --> 00:09:17,309 GIRL: Okay. 249 00:09:17,408 --> 00:09:19,409 Why don't you recline your seat a bit? 250 00:09:19,508 --> 00:09:20,442 GIRL: Okay. 251 00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:23,076 And l'm iust gonna do this a little bit. 252 00:09:23,175 --> 00:09:24,576 GIRL: Okay. 253 00:09:24,675 --> 00:09:26,777 And that's good. l'm liking this. 254 00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:27,842 GIRL: Okay. 255 00:09:27,941 --> 00:09:29,642 Okay, up and down a bit. Great. 256 00:09:29,741 --> 00:09:30,775 Careful. 257 00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:32,009 Okay, l seem to have had 258 00:09:32,108 --> 00:09:33,242 a little accident, 259 00:09:33,341 --> 00:09:34,375 so we're gonna have to go ahead 260 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:35,475 and take a trip to the clinic. 261 00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,542 GIRL: Okay. 262 00:09:36,641 --> 00:09:38,476 Why don't you put that back on 263 00:09:38,574 --> 00:09:40,310 and bring your seat back up? 264 00:09:40,408 --> 00:09:41,442 GIRL: Okay. 265 00:09:41,541 --> 00:09:42,775 Check your mirrors, 266 00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,509 and let's put the car in reverse. 267 00:09:44,608 --> 00:09:45,842 GIRL: Okay. 268 00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:49,209 And we'll ease back onto the road. 269 00:09:49,308 --> 00:09:50,342 GIRL: Okay. 270 00:10:09,841 --> 00:10:11,976 MAM: This service is no longer available. 271 00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:18,943 Hey, how's it going, Grandma? 272 00:10:19,041 --> 00:10:21,309 lt's going pretty good here, Sammy boo. 273 00:10:21,408 --> 00:10:23,209 That's good. That's good. 274 00:10:24,808 --> 00:10:27,744 Grandma, did you poop on the floor? 275 00:10:27,908 --> 00:10:28,508 What? 276 00:10:28,608 --> 00:10:30,910 Grandma, is that your poo on the floor? 277 00:10:31,008 --> 00:10:32,576 What is the what? 278 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:33,842 Your poo on the floor. 279 00:10:33,941 --> 00:10:36,343 Did you make a poop on the floor, Grandma? 280 00:10:36,441 --> 00:10:39,544 l poop in the toilet. Why would l poop on the floor? 281 00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:41,275 No, Grandma. You pooed on the floor. 282 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,610 Look at it. It's right there. 283 00:10:43,708 --> 00:10:46,177 Well, that doesn't look like people poop to me. 284 00:10:46,275 --> 00:10:47,809 That looks like doggie poop. 285 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:51,177 No, it looks like grandma poop on account of the medication. 286 00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,710 Well, l don't remember pooping on the floor. 287 00:10:53,808 --> 00:10:55,809 Yeah, of course you don't remember pooping on the floor. 288 00:10:55,908 --> 00:10:57,843 You have Alzheimer's, Grandma. 289 00:10:57,941 --> 00:11:00,943 Oh. Well, l didn't mean to. l'm sorry. 290 00:11:01,108 --> 00:11:03,777 Sorry is not gonna clean it up, Grandma. So, chop-chop. 291 00:11:03,875 --> 00:11:06,177 Let's get a rag and a mop, all right? Come on. 292 00:11:06,275 --> 00:11:09,044 Okay, l'm going. It's iust so hard getting off of this couch. 293 00:11:09,141 --> 00:11:10,609 lt's gross. It smells. 294 00:11:10,708 --> 00:11:12,443 l don't want to look at it. 295 00:11:13,641 --> 00:11:15,242 l'm iust fucking with you, Grandma. 296 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:15,941 [ Laughs ] 297 00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:18,376 What? So, l didn't poop on the floor? 298 00:11:18,474 --> 00:11:20,210 No, the dog did. 299 00:11:20,308 --> 00:11:22,376 And l don't have Alzheimer's? 300 00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,577 No, you have Alzheimer's, Grandma. 301 00:11:24,675 --> 00:11:27,444 That's why you're so wicked gullible all the time. 302 00:11:27,541 --> 00:11:28,942 So, what you watching? 303 00:11:29,041 --> 00:11:30,675 Oh, the newsman's on. 304 00:11:30,808 --> 00:11:32,943 The newsman, huh? What's the newsman have to say? 305 00:11:33,041 --> 00:11:37,512 Well, some terrorists blew up some embassy over in France. 306 00:11:37,675 --> 00:11:40,210 MEWSMAM: The car itself is reportedly badly damaged. 307 00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:42,009 A number of cars alongside.. . 308 00:11:42,175 --> 00:11:44,010 Grandma, what'd you do? 309 00:11:44,108 --> 00:11:44,942 What? 310 00:11:45,041 --> 00:11:46,909 You blew up an embassy? 311 00:11:47,008 --> 00:11:49,377 No, l would not! The terrorists did that! 312 00:11:49,474 --> 00:11:51,810 You killed, like, 36 people! 313 00:11:51,908 --> 00:11:53,576 How would l, Sam? 314 00:11:53,675 --> 00:11:54,509 l saw you. 315 00:11:54,608 --> 00:11:59,279 l saw you with my eyes get up, get out of your couch, 316 00:11:59,375 --> 00:12:01,243 go over to France. 317 00:12:01,341 --> 00:12:03,609 You got undressed, you slut, 318 00:12:03,708 --> 00:12:07,178 and then you blew up the embassy with your mind! 319 00:12:07,275 --> 00:12:08,976 Well, why would l ever do that? 320 00:12:09,074 --> 00:12:11,143 l'm not finished! 321 00:12:11,241 --> 00:12:14,277 And then you came back here, you got dressed, 322 00:12:14,375 --> 00:12:15,776 you pooed on the floor. 323 00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:17,376 Someone pooped on the floor? 324 00:12:17,474 --> 00:12:19,009 You pooped on the floor! 325 00:12:19,108 --> 00:12:21,577 You pooped on the floor, Grandma! 326 00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:25,345 And then you turned on the TV to watch your deadly deeds unfold. 327 00:12:25,441 --> 00:12:28,143 Oh. Well, l'm sorry, Sammy. 328 00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:30,042 lt's okay. Just don't think of me, 329 00:12:30,141 --> 00:12:33,110 or you'll blow me up with your mind powers, all right? 330 00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:34,676 -No, l'm not -- -Don't -- Oh! 331 00:12:34,775 --> 00:12:36,143 l'm not thinking of you, Sammy. 332 00:12:36,241 --> 00:12:39,143 Sammy, no! No, Sammy. l'm not thinking -- 333 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:41,810 l'm iust fucking with you, Grandma. 334 00:12:41,908 --> 00:12:43,042 Come on. 335 00:12:43,141 --> 00:12:45,743 [ Wails ] 336 00:12:48,008 --> 00:12:50,076 Do you have that 20 bucks you owe me? 337 00:12:50,175 --> 00:12:51,109 l guess so. 338 00:12:51,208 --> 00:12:52,542 Yeah. 339 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,943 Hand it over. Thank you. 340 00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,642 Watch out for that tiger. 341 00:12:56,741 --> 00:12:57,675 Tiger? 342 00:12:57,775 --> 00:13:00,344 Here? In the house? 343 00:13:00,508 --> 00:13:02,443 What kind of tiger? 344 00:13:02,541 --> 00:13:04,242 Tiger Woods? 345 00:13:04,341 --> 00:13:05,575 Golfing? 346 00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:06,908 G RAN DMA: It's my birthday! 347 00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:08,743 Dude, you're really mean to your grandmother. 348 00:13:08,841 --> 00:13:09,741 lt's not my grandma. 349 00:13:09,841 --> 00:13:12,109 lt's iust some lady that leaves her door open. 350 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,676 Oh. That is cool. 351 00:13:13,775 --> 00:13:15,143 [ Laughing ] 352 00:13:15,908 --> 00:13:16,975 Let's go. 353 00:13:17,074 --> 00:13:18,209 Tiger? 354 00:13:18,308 --> 00:13:19,876 Tiger Woods? 355 00:13:23,241 --> 00:13:27,745 Oh, boy. It's time to autoerotic asphyxiate myself. 356 00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:30,643 My penis sure is in for a treat. 357 00:13:30,741 --> 00:13:33,110 All right. Got the noose. 358 00:13:33,208 --> 00:13:37,612 And here we go. 359 00:13:38,608 --> 00:13:40,409 Okay. There we are. 360 00:13:40,508 --> 00:13:42,476 Oh, this feels great! 361 00:13:42,574 --> 00:13:44,076 This is amazing! 362 00:13:44,175 --> 00:13:45,209 Uh-oh! 363 00:13:45,308 --> 00:13:47,977 Oh, l'm about to finish. l'm about to splooge. 364 00:13:48,074 --> 00:13:50,844 Here we go! 365 00:13:50,941 --> 00:13:52,942 Yeah! 366 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:55,075 Wait a minute. 367 00:13:55,175 --> 00:13:56,476 What's going on? 368 00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:59,344 There's my body, but why am l...? 369 00:13:59,441 --> 00:14:00,108 Ah! 370 00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:00,842 Ah! 371 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,976 l died! Oh, no! 372 00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:04,943 l can't die like that! Ah! 373 00:14:05,041 --> 00:14:07,676 That's the most embarrassing way you could possibly die. 374 00:14:07,775 --> 00:14:11,378 l've got to do something. l've got to pull my pants up. 375 00:14:12,241 --> 00:14:14,343 Ghost hands! They can't do anything! 376 00:14:14,441 --> 00:14:16,409 What am l gonna do? Okay. Think. Think. 377 00:14:16,508 --> 00:14:17,342 Think. Think. 378 00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:19,075 Okay, l'll try to use my ghost energy 379 00:14:19,175 --> 00:14:21,143 to try to affect things in the real world. 380 00:14:21,241 --> 00:14:24,077 Okay, here we go. Ghost energy. 381 00:14:24,175 --> 00:14:25,075 How do l work it? 382 00:14:25,175 --> 00:14:26,943 Come on. Move the hand. 383 00:14:27,041 --> 00:14:28,409 Move.... Oh, it's working! 384 00:14:28,508 --> 00:14:29,542 Okay, good. Okay, good. 385 00:14:29,641 --> 00:14:30,641 Swing. Okay, good. 386 00:14:30,741 --> 00:14:32,209 Okay. It's working. Great. 387 00:14:32,308 --> 00:14:33,676 Swing! Okay, good. 388 00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:35,209 Now, pull up your pants. 389 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:36,676 Pull up your.... 390 00:14:37,341 --> 00:14:39,276 Ah! It went up my butt! 391 00:14:39,375 --> 00:14:41,343 lt went right up my butt! 392 00:14:41,441 --> 00:14:42,608 That's worse than before! 393 00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,009 What am l gonna do? 394 00:14:44,108 --> 00:14:46,210 Come on, Trevor! It's Timmy. And we have a show to do! 395 00:14:46,308 --> 00:14:48,610 Ah! Oh, no! Tonight's the night of the big show! 396 00:14:48,708 --> 00:14:50,276 Come on! Tonight's the night of the big show! 397 00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:51,642 What are you doing in there, Trevor? 398 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,610 Uhh, nothing! Nothing! Don't come in here! 399 00:14:54,708 --> 00:14:56,409 Ghost voice! He can't hear me! 400 00:14:56,508 --> 00:14:58,309 All right, enough fooling around, Trevor. 401 00:14:58,408 --> 00:14:59,575 l guess l'll iust walk right in. 402 00:14:59,675 --> 00:15:01,910 No, no, no, no! No, don't come in! Don't come in! 403 00:15:02,008 --> 00:15:03,442 No! No! 404 00:15:03,608 --> 00:15:04,575 Oh, my God. 405 00:15:04,675 --> 00:15:06,443 Trevor killed himself 406 00:15:06,608 --> 00:15:09,577 with his wiener hanging out and his thumb up his butt. 407 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,543 Oh, you noticed! Timmy, be a pal. 408 00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:13,743 Help me out. Conceal my embarrassment. 409 00:15:13,841 --> 00:15:15,842 Pull my pants up. Pull my thumb out. 410 00:15:15,941 --> 00:15:17,542 Don't let people see me like this. 411 00:15:17,641 --> 00:15:18,675 What are you...? No! 412 00:15:18,775 --> 00:15:21,077 Don't take pictures! Timmy, stop taking pictures! 413 00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:21,842 Help me down! 414 00:15:21,941 --> 00:15:23,575 Knock, knock, Associated Press here. 415 00:15:23,675 --> 00:15:25,676 Like to do a story on the big show, if l may. 416 00:15:25,775 --> 00:15:26,675 Oh, no! The press! 417 00:15:26,775 --> 00:15:27,909 Timmy, tell him to go away! 418 00:15:28,008 --> 00:15:29,342 -Come on in, man. -No, no, no, no, no! 419 00:15:29,441 --> 00:15:30,875 Just need to get a couple of shots of -- 420 00:15:30,974 --> 00:15:33,143 Oh, my God! That's humiliating! 421 00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:34,775 Mind if l get a couple of photos? 422 00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:35,475 Say no. 423 00:15:35,574 --> 00:15:37,076 That's what l'm doing, man. Go ahead. 424 00:15:37,175 --> 00:15:38,776 -All right. -No, no, no! 425 00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:41,444 -Oh, this is gonna sell millions. -Stop, stop, stop! 426 00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:43,342 You know what would make a really good picture? 427 00:15:43,441 --> 00:15:45,342 We should put some gay porn under his arm. 428 00:15:45,441 --> 00:15:46,842 No! That's a horrible idea! 429 00:15:46,941 --> 00:15:47,975 That's a great idea! 430 00:15:48,074 --> 00:15:50,076 -Just a second. -No, no, no, no, no! 431 00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,108 All right. 432 00:15:51,208 --> 00:15:52,208 No! Stop! 433 00:15:52,408 --> 00:15:54,143 Did you notice his thumb's in his butt? 434 00:15:54,241 --> 00:15:55,809 No kidding. What a scoop. 435 00:15:55,908 --> 00:15:57,109 Trevor, it's your mother. 436 00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:59,577 l know how much you like soup before the big show -- 437 00:15:59,675 --> 00:16:01,143 Oh, my God! My son's a gay. 438 00:16:01,908 --> 00:16:03,976 Check it out, lady. His thumb's in his butt. 439 00:16:04,074 --> 00:16:06,177 You know, l always suspected. 440 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:07,208 You did? 441 00:16:07,308 --> 00:16:08,842 Trevor. 442 00:16:09,008 --> 00:16:09,842 Yes? 443 00:16:09,941 --> 00:16:11,676 -This is God. -Oh, no! 444 00:16:11,775 --> 00:16:14,444 Do you regret the decisions you've made with your life? 445 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:16,009 Yes! Yes! More than anything! 446 00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:19,444 Now that you've learned your lesson, would you like a second chance? 447 00:16:19,541 --> 00:16:20,975 Yes, yes! Please! Please! 448 00:16:21,074 --> 00:16:22,910 Very well. 449 00:16:23,841 --> 00:16:25,442 [ Gasping ] 450 00:16:26,241 --> 00:16:27,375 l'm alive! 451 00:16:27,474 --> 00:16:28,809 What were you doing? 452 00:16:28,908 --> 00:16:29,908 No! 453 00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:31,175 Trevor, you're a pervert! 454 00:16:31,275 --> 00:16:33,644 You pretended to be dead with your wiener hanging out 455 00:16:33,741 --> 00:16:36,510 and your thumb up your butt so we'd take pictures of you? 456 00:16:36,608 --> 00:16:37,275 Gross! 457 00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:38,709 No! This isn't fair! 458 00:16:38,808 --> 00:16:40,743 You were supposed to give me a second chance! 459 00:16:40,841 --> 00:16:42,776 What are you talking about? 460 00:16:42,941 --> 00:16:44,842 You were supposed to send me back in time! 461 00:16:44,941 --> 00:16:48,511 l wish you were dead, you crazy queen! 462 00:16:54,074 --> 00:16:56,544 [ Simultaneous talking ] 463 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,975 Okay. Thank you for waiting. 464 00:16:58,074 --> 00:17:00,076 The president has asked me to come out 465 00:17:00,175 --> 00:17:02,310 and make a brief statement 466 00:17:02,474 --> 00:17:05,311 about the wire that iust went out a couple minutes ago. 467 00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:07,643 To make things short, l will just confirm 468 00:17:07,741 --> 00:17:10,110 that, yes, we do have a moon base, 469 00:17:10,208 --> 00:17:14,679 and, yes, we are currently experiencing some bear problems. 470 00:17:14,775 --> 00:17:17,944 Now l will open it up if there are any questions. 471 00:17:18,041 --> 00:17:19,609 Mr. Press Secretary! 472 00:17:20,408 --> 00:17:21,842 _ou. New York Times. 473 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:26,278 Uh, yes, l have a 10 -- no, 1 1-part question. 474 00:17:26,441 --> 00:17:27,809 l'm sorry. l only have time for 2. 475 00:17:27,974 --> 00:17:29,242 All right, let me get this straight. 476 00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,142 So, the United States government 477 00:17:31,241 --> 00:17:34,644 is admitting that we do have a moon base 478 00:17:34,808 --> 00:17:38,378 and that there is a bear problem on said moon base? 479 00:17:38,541 --> 00:17:39,775 Yes, that is correct. 480 00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:42,477 All right, follow-up question. 481 00:17:42,574 --> 00:17:44,777 -Are you fucking with us? -That's a really good question. 482 00:17:44,875 --> 00:17:45,842 No, we are not, 483 00:17:45,941 --> 00:17:48,576 and l would like to remind everyone to keep the language civilized. 484 00:17:48,675 --> 00:17:49,675 This is the White House. 485 00:17:49,775 --> 00:17:52,177 Excuse me, Mr. Secretary. Bob Daniels. Newsweek. 486 00:17:52,275 --> 00:17:53,376 Mr. Daniels. 487 00:17:53,474 --> 00:17:57,045 Um, how long have we had the moon base, 488 00:17:57,141 --> 00:18:00,711 and are these bears Earth bears, or are they from the moon? 489 00:18:00,808 --> 00:18:02,543 l'm sorry, l'm not at liberty to disclose 490 00:18:02,641 --> 00:18:05,643 how long we have had this moon base at this time. 491 00:18:05,741 --> 00:18:07,676 We do believe these to be Earth bears. 492 00:18:07,775 --> 00:18:10,644 We have no reason to believe these to be lunar bears 493 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,409 or even Saturn bears. 494 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:16,178 Todd Albright, PBS. There are Saturn bears? 495 00:18:16,275 --> 00:18:17,743 l am also not at liberty 496 00:18:17,841 --> 00:18:21,277 to go into the various types of woodland life-forms on Saturn 497 00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,176 or any of the other 1 2 planets. 498 00:18:23,275 --> 00:18:24,209 9 planets. 499 00:18:25,841 --> 00:18:28,310 Right. l've said too much already. 500 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:32,512 What l can show you is the images that have been beamed down to us 501 00:18:32,608 --> 00:18:35,377 from the Odyssey satellite system just a couple hours ago. 502 00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:37,543 This is the view out of the front door 503 00:18:37,641 --> 00:18:39,409 of the United States' secret moon base. 504 00:18:39,508 --> 00:18:40,809 This was taken yesterday, 505 00:18:40,908 --> 00:18:43,110 before we discovered the bear problem. 506 00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:47,178 And this one was taken just a couple hours ago. 507 00:18:47,341 --> 00:18:50,143 So, as you can see, bears everywhere. 508 00:18:50,241 --> 00:18:52,343 Mr. Press Secretary! Mr. Press Secretary! 509 00:18:52,441 --> 00:18:53,408 Mr. Getz. 510 00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:56,577 Yeah. Those bears appear to have guns and motorcycles. 511 00:18:56,675 --> 00:18:58,410 We believe they may be involved 512 00:18:58,508 --> 00:19:00,977 in some sort of intergalactic drug cartel, 513 00:19:01,074 --> 00:19:05,879 perhaps affiliated with one of the interstellar wizard alliances. 514 00:19:05,974 --> 00:19:07,176 Wizard alliances? 515 00:19:07,275 --> 00:19:08,309 Yes. Next question. 516 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:09,308 Just a thought, 517 00:19:09,408 --> 00:19:10,609 more of a shot in the dark, 518 00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:12,709 but we wouldn't happen 519 00:19:12,808 --> 00:19:15,577 to be invading Iran today, would we? 520 00:19:20,641 --> 00:19:22,376 You got me. 521 00:19:22,474 --> 00:19:23,375 You got me. 522 00:19:23,474 --> 00:19:25,577 l fell for it. l fell for it. You got me. 523 00:19:25,675 --> 00:19:27,109 You almost got away with that one. 524 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:30,411 No, l went too far. l almost had it. 525 00:19:30,508 --> 00:19:32,076 l should have stopped after the slides. 526 00:19:32,241 --> 00:19:33,342 l knew l should have stop then. 527 00:19:33,441 --> 00:19:35,075 Yeah, l didn't even think anything about it 528 00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,443 until the cartel thing, and l was like, ''Whaaat?'' 529 00:19:37,608 --> 00:19:38,375 [ Laughter ] 530 00:19:38,474 --> 00:19:40,610 Okay. All right. Let's forget this whole thing. 531 00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:42,543 Who wants a drink? First round's on me. Come on! 532 00:19:42,641 --> 00:19:44,142 Yeah! 533 00:20:13,508 --> 00:20:14,642 Good morning, Dad. 534 00:20:14,741 --> 00:20:18,478 By now, l bet you're wondering, ''Where are those pesky car keys?'' 535 00:20:18,574 --> 00:20:19,776 Well, that is a riddle 536 00:20:19,875 --> 00:20:21,543 that you'll have to get to the bottom of 537 00:20:21,641 --> 00:20:25,077 by following a series of clues that l have left for you. 538 00:20:25,241 --> 00:20:28,177 lf you look to the ground, you'll notice a maze of colored twine. 539 00:20:28,275 --> 00:20:31,144 One of these strings leads to the next clue, but beware. 540 00:20:31,241 --> 00:20:32,475 The other ones lead to dead ends. 541 00:20:32,574 --> 00:20:33,876 l don't have fucking time for this. 542 00:20:33,974 --> 00:20:36,110 Which color should you choose? l'll give you a hint. 543 00:20:36,208 --> 00:20:38,610 lt's the color of mothers birthstone. 544 00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:42,011 So, pick a string and stop the tape. 545 00:20:43,641 --> 00:20:46,310 Well, l see you found the mirror but are probably asking yourself, 546 00:20:46,408 --> 00:20:47,575 ''Well, what good is this mirror 547 00:20:47,675 --> 00:20:49,576 if l can't find that troublesome backwards map?'' 548 00:20:49,675 --> 00:20:51,543 BACKGROUND: Morning, Dad. l see you're on your quest. 549 00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:52,541 Where the fuck are my keys? 550 00:20:52,641 --> 00:20:53,575 [ Sounds of punches ] 551 00:20:53,675 --> 00:20:54,776 -Ow, Dad! -Where are they? 552 00:20:54,875 --> 00:20:57,310 Your own son is the clue you'll need to solve this caper, 553 00:20:57,408 --> 00:20:59,376 so stop the tape and come up to my room. 554 00:20:59,474 --> 00:21:00,976 BACKG ROU N D: Tell me where they are! 555 00:21:01,074 --> 00:21:02,476 Tell me where the fucking keys are! 556 00:21:02,574 --> 00:21:04,143 Well, Dad, l'm glad we solved 557 00:21:04,241 --> 00:21:06,409 the riddle of the missing keys together. 558 00:21:06,508 --> 00:21:08,109 BACKG ROU N D: Where the fuck are the keys? 559 00:21:08,208 --> 00:21:10,043 l guess all this is just my way of saying 560 00:21:10,141 --> 00:21:11,475 l want to spend more time with you. 561 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:12,542 BACKGROUND: Ow! Ow! 562 00:21:12,641 --> 00:21:15,043 Seems like l just don't get to see a lot of you anymore, 563 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,609 and l miss you, Dad. 564 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:18,209 BACKG ROU N D: l have to get to work! 565 00:21:18,308 --> 00:21:19,809 lf you feel the same way about me, 566 00:21:19,908 --> 00:21:22,610 then stop the tape and come up to my room and give me a hug. 567 00:21:22,708 --> 00:21:24,643 BACKG ROU N D: Where are the fucking keys?