1 01:28:37,233 --> 01:28:41,170 And that is how you properly maintain and harvest radishes. 2 01:28:41,266 --> 01:28:43,334 Wow, that's really interesting, Timmy. 3 01:28:43,533 --> 01:28:44,400 [ Buzzer sounds ] 4 01:28:44,500 --> 01:28:46,902 Oh, that's the buzzer. l'll get it. 5 01:28:47,566 --> 01:28:49,968 SAM: Yo, it's me. Let me up. 6 01:28:50,533 --> 01:28:51,767 lt's Sam. 7 01:28:51,866 --> 01:28:54,268 Fuck! Could this day get worse? 8 01:28:54,366 --> 01:28:55,800 Why? What's wrong with Sam? 9 01:28:55,899 --> 01:28:58,235 Sam iust learned about reverse psychology. 10 01:28:58,333 --> 01:29:01,169 -So? -So he's annoying now. 11 01:29:01,766 --> 01:29:03,134 Hey, guys. 12 01:29:03,233 --> 01:29:05,735 Nobody suck my dick. 13 01:29:07,033 --> 01:29:08,033 Whatever you do, 14 01:29:08,133 --> 01:29:12,136 do not hold me down and suck on my dick. 15 01:29:13,899 --> 01:29:16,535 Uhh, okay. 16 01:29:16,633 --> 01:29:17,900 Don't worry. 17 01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:21,436 l would hate it so much if you guys tried that. 18 01:29:21,566 --> 01:29:27,471 lt would hurt so bad if you guys all blew me. 19 01:29:29,533 --> 01:29:32,068 Okay. Thanks for coming over, buddy. 20 01:29:32,166 --> 01:29:35,269 All right, l'm gonna go in the other room and get some chips. 21 01:29:35,366 --> 01:29:38,736 Don't you guys plan anything. 22 01:29:41,166 --> 01:29:42,700 You guys. 23 01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:45,335 We should fucking suck his dick. 24 01:30:17,966 --> 01:30:19,701 -Stop it! -Take that! 25 01:30:19,800 --> 01:30:22,202 -Son of a bitch. -Stop! 26 01:30:23,500 --> 01:30:24,500 Stop it! 27 01:30:24,699 --> 01:30:27,302 You son of a bitch. Take that. And that. 28 01:30:27,399 --> 01:30:29,668 Stop it! Ow! Aah! 29 01:30:29,766 --> 01:30:30,933 Yeah! 30 01:30:31,033 --> 01:30:31,933 Stop it! 31 01:30:32,100 --> 01:30:33,935 Hey, what are you doing, man? 32 01:30:34,033 --> 01:30:36,001 l'm kicking the shit out of this guy. 33 01:30:36,100 --> 01:30:37,468 Aah! Ow! 34 01:30:37,566 --> 01:30:38,700 Stop it! 35 01:30:38,866 --> 01:30:40,200 -Stop it. -What? 36 01:30:40,300 --> 01:30:41,634 Why are you kicking this guy? 37 01:30:41,733 --> 01:30:44,702 Because he killed my kids. 38 01:30:45,566 --> 01:30:46,600 Really? 39 01:30:46,699 --> 01:30:48,435 Yeah, both of them. 40 01:30:48,533 --> 01:30:50,968 Oh, that sucks, man. 41 01:30:51,800 --> 01:30:54,235 What a ierk. 42 01:30:54,333 --> 01:30:55,834 -Take that. -Yeah. 43 01:30:55,933 --> 01:30:56,800 And that. 44 01:30:56,966 --> 01:31:00,202 What's wrong with you? Killing people's kids. 45 01:31:00,300 --> 01:31:02,068 Kill my kids. 46 01:31:02,233 --> 01:31:03,834 Take that. Son of a bitch. 47 01:31:03,933 --> 01:31:04,800 Son of a bitch. 48 01:31:04,933 --> 01:31:06,834 So how did he kill your kids, anyway? 49 01:31:06,933 --> 01:31:10,036 He's an executioner up at the state prison system. 50 01:31:10,133 --> 01:31:11,334 Wait. Are you serious? 51 01:31:11,433 --> 01:31:13,301 Yeah. They were on death row. 52 01:31:13,399 --> 01:31:14,968 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop, stop, stop! 53 01:31:15,066 --> 01:31:17,635 This is an officer of the law. We could get in a lot of trouble. 54 01:31:17,733 --> 01:31:19,534 Here, l'm sorry, man. l didn't kick you. 55 01:31:19,633 --> 01:31:20,567 Yes, you did. 56 01:31:20,666 --> 01:31:22,834 Get down on the ground, you son of a bitch. 57 01:31:22,966 --> 01:31:24,367 Hey! 58 01:31:24,533 --> 01:31:27,702 How do you like them apples? Kicking me for doing my job. 59 01:31:27,800 --> 01:31:30,702 Yeah. Making me assault an officer of the law. 60 01:31:30,800 --> 01:31:32,735 Just 'cause you're mad about your dead kids. 61 01:31:32,833 --> 01:31:33,600 Yeah. 62 01:31:33,699 --> 01:31:35,668 Hey, what did his kids do, anyway? 63 01:31:35,766 --> 01:31:38,335 That's the best part. They didn't do a thing. 64 01:31:38,433 --> 01:31:41,402 l framed them. Ha, ha! 65 01:31:41,500 --> 01:31:43,268 Wait. Are you serious? 66 01:31:43,366 --> 01:31:46,302 Yeah. Pretty sweet, huh? An ingenious plan. 67 01:31:46,399 --> 01:31:48,001 And now l'm kicking their father. 68 01:31:48,100 --> 01:31:50,302 How do you like that, ghost children? 69 01:31:50,399 --> 01:31:52,735 Whoa, dude. Stop, stop. You're a bad guy. 70 01:31:52,833 --> 01:31:54,501 l'm sorry, man. l didn't kick you. 71 01:31:54,600 --> 01:31:55,600 Yeah, you did. 72 01:31:55,766 --> 01:31:57,300 Get down on the ground. 73 01:31:57,466 --> 01:32:00,368 -Ow! That hurts! -Framing my kids. 74 01:32:00,466 --> 01:32:02,234 l'm sorry, man. l had no idea. 75 01:32:02,333 --> 01:32:04,635 l thought you were iust some sort of crazy, enraged parent 76 01:32:04,733 --> 01:32:06,401 that was assaulting an officer of the law. 77 01:32:06,500 --> 01:32:09,202 No. Framing my kids for a crime they didn't commit. 78 01:32:09,300 --> 01:32:11,535 And then make sure you're the one that pulled the switch. 79 01:32:11,633 --> 01:32:12,934 That's so crazy, man. 80 01:32:13,033 --> 01:32:15,535 Why would he go through all that effort just to mess with you? 81 01:32:15,633 --> 01:32:17,468 He iust wanted to hurt me 'cause he found out 82 01:32:17,566 --> 01:32:20,235 that l'm the one who raped and murdered his wife two years ago. 83 01:32:20,333 --> 01:32:21,233 Stop it! 84 01:32:21,333 --> 01:32:23,001 Wait. Are you being serious? 85 01:32:23,100 --> 01:32:25,902 He took away my one true love! 86 01:32:26,066 --> 01:32:28,234 Whoa, whoa, whoa! l'm sorry, man. l didn't kick you. 87 01:32:28,333 --> 01:32:29,267 Yes, you did! 88 01:32:29,366 --> 01:32:32,235 Get down on the ground, you son of a bitch. 89 01:32:33,399 --> 01:32:36,169 He frowned upon our love because she was only 8 years old. 90 01:32:36,266 --> 01:32:38,201 What? Okay, wait. You're the bad... . 91 01:32:38,300 --> 01:32:40,368 You're both bad guys. Get down on the ground. 92 01:32:40,466 --> 01:32:43,402 Take that, you son of a bitch. Take that, you son of a bitch. 93 01:32:43,500 --> 01:32:44,934 Take that. Take that. 94 01:32:45,066 --> 01:32:46,667 Take that, you son of a bitch. 95 01:32:46,833 --> 01:32:47,900 Take that. Take that. 96 01:32:48,000 --> 01:32:49,468 Take that, you son of a bitch. 97 01:32:49,566 --> 01:32:52,835 Take that and that and that, you son of a bitch. 98 01:32:52,933 --> 01:32:56,670 Take that and that and that, you son of a bitch. 99 01:32:56,766 --> 01:32:58,334 NARRATOR: It was the year 1 927. 100 01:32:58,433 --> 01:33:00,034 Hoover had just declared war on Cuba, 101 01:33:00,133 --> 01:33:01,901 a gallon of bread cost merely a shiny nickel, 102 01:33:02,000 --> 01:33:03,935 and a new dance craze called 'You Son of a Bitch'' 103 01:33:04,033 --> 01:33:05,868 was sweeping the city's sock hops and speakeasies. 104 01:33:05,966 --> 01:33:07,634 lt was discovered when a traveling businessman 105 01:33:07,733 --> 01:33:09,801 named Jeremiah Phillips came across a young man 106 01:33:09,899 --> 01:33:12,035 kicking two ragamuffins in a city street one day. 107 01:33:12,133 --> 01:33:14,034 They agreed to split the profits from the new jig 50-5O 108 01:33:14,133 --> 01:33:16,268 and then headed off to the bright lights of New York City. 109 01:33:16,366 --> 01:33:19,135 Well, in a matter of weeks, the two men were millionaires 110 01:33:19,233 --> 01:33:20,601 and decided to pool their resources 111 01:33:20,699 --> 01:33:24,003 into building what would later be known as the Empire State Building. 112 01:33:24,100 --> 01:33:25,801 They toiled and planned for seven long years 113 01:33:25,899 --> 01:33:27,401 on the construction of the modern marvel. 114 01:33:27,500 --> 01:33:30,169 But then the ice age set in, the weather patterns shifted, 115 01:33:30,266 --> 01:33:33,135 and all of the Northeast became engulfed in ice and tundra. 116 01:33:33,233 --> 01:33:35,268 Soon the meat trucks stopped coming into the Big Apple. 117 01:33:35,366 --> 01:33:37,334 Then the vegetation withered and died. 118 01:33:37,433 --> 01:33:38,400 The sky grew dark, 119 01:33:38,500 --> 01:33:41,236 and slowly mankind thinned into extinction. 120 01:33:45,466 --> 01:33:46,800 All right. Good morning, class. 121 01:33:46,899 --> 01:33:48,001 Welcome to the new year. 122 01:33:48,100 --> 01:33:49,100 Before we start today, 123 01:33:49,199 --> 01:33:51,869 does anyone have anything neat they did over summer vacation? 124 01:33:51,966 --> 01:33:54,268 Would anyone like to talk about their summer break? 125 01:33:54,366 --> 01:33:56,267 Yes, Steven? 126 01:33:56,433 --> 01:33:58,234 My brother let me try mariiuana. 127 01:33:58,366 --> 01:34:00,401 -That's great, Steven. -lt was so awesome, you guys. 128 01:34:00,500 --> 01:34:02,368 l'm gonna do it every day for the rest of my life. 129 01:34:02,466 --> 01:34:04,467 Okay, Steven, go to the principal's office. 130 01:34:04,566 --> 01:34:06,301 -What? Why? -Go to the office. 131 01:34:07,966 --> 01:34:12,236 Did anyone have anything legal that they did over summer vacation? 132 01:34:12,333 --> 01:34:13,500 Yes, Billy? 133 01:34:13,666 --> 01:34:17,736 This summer l teached a whale to jump out of its tail. 134 01:34:18,333 --> 01:34:19,367 What? 135 01:34:19,533 --> 01:34:20,934 This summer, over summer break, 136 01:34:21,033 --> 01:34:22,834 l teached a whale to jump out of his tail. 137 01:34:22,933 --> 01:34:24,634 What are you talking about, Billy? 138 01:34:24,733 --> 01:34:27,535 This summer. l teached a whale to jump out of his tail. 139 01:34:27,633 --> 01:34:29,868 Stop being silly. You're not making any sense. 140 01:34:29,966 --> 01:34:32,368 l'm not being silly. l'm answering your question. 141 01:34:32,466 --> 01:34:33,700 That's what l did this summer. 142 01:34:33,800 --> 01:34:35,768 l teached a whale to jump out of the water, 143 01:34:35,866 --> 01:34:38,969 and then iump again so hard that his tail came off. 144 01:34:39,133 --> 01:34:40,434 Billy, that's impossible. 145 01:34:40,533 --> 01:34:42,801 Stop lying, or l will send you to the principal's office. 146 01:34:42,899 --> 01:34:44,668 l'm not lying. Stop calling me a liar. 147 01:34:44,766 --> 01:34:48,669 This summer l teached a whale to jump out of his tail on vacation. 148 01:34:48,766 --> 01:34:51,502 Billy, stop lying. You're wasting class time. 149 01:34:51,633 --> 01:34:52,567 l'm not lying. 150 01:34:52,666 --> 01:34:53,800 And your calling me a liar 151 01:34:53,899 --> 01:34:56,202 is damaging my self-esteem as a student. 152 01:34:56,300 --> 01:34:58,101 -Fine. Then prove it. -Prove what? 153 01:34:58,199 --> 01:35:00,602 Prove that you taught a whale to jump out of its tail. 154 01:35:00,699 --> 01:35:04,270 Okay, how am l gonna prove that here in Ohio? 155 01:35:04,366 --> 01:35:06,468 lt's not like there's a ton of whales in Akron. 156 01:35:06,566 --> 01:35:09,302 Guess you can't prove me a liar, huh? 157 01:35:09,399 --> 01:35:11,235 Then where did you teach these whales 158 01:35:11,333 --> 01:35:12,400 to iump out of their tails? 159 01:35:12,500 --> 01:35:13,701 Florida. 160 01:35:13,866 --> 01:35:15,901 -Son of a bitch, Billy. -Totally did it. 161 01:35:17,866 --> 01:35:20,702 All right, class, get your shit! We're going to Florida! 162 01:35:20,800 --> 01:35:22,101 What about permission slips? 163 01:35:22,199 --> 01:35:24,201 Fuck permission slips! 164 01:35:26,000 --> 01:35:27,034 Here we go, Billy. 165 01:35:27,133 --> 01:35:29,335 l am gonna prove you to be the lying liar 166 01:35:29,633 --> 01:35:30,967 that l know that you are. 167 01:35:31,133 --> 01:35:32,968 You will rue the day! 168 01:35:33,066 --> 01:35:35,668 Whatever, Miss ''Lame-bert.'' 169 01:35:35,766 --> 01:35:36,466 [ Laughter ] 170 01:35:36,566 --> 01:35:38,567 That's it. No seat belt for Billy. 171 01:35:38,666 --> 01:35:39,967 Hey, no. l want my seat belt. 172 01:35:40,066 --> 01:35:41,333 No. No seat belt for you. 173 01:35:41,433 --> 01:35:42,967 Maybe now if we get in an accident 174 01:35:43,066 --> 01:35:45,735 you'll think about showing your elders some respect. 175 01:35:45,833 --> 01:35:49,670 ''Sealand -- 1 O miles.'' Here we go! 176 01:35:49,800 --> 01:35:52,035 Hello there, and welcome to Sealand Orlando, 177 01:35:52,133 --> 01:35:54,335 home to sea creatures of the world and beyond. 178 01:35:54,433 --> 01:35:56,601 Hi. Yes. How are you doing? My name is Mrs. Lambert. 179 01:35:56,699 --> 01:35:58,301 And l teach third grade at Akron Elementary.... 180 01:35:58,399 --> 01:36:00,435 Well, hello, Mrs. Lambert. My name is Timmy Williams. 181 01:36:00,533 --> 01:36:04,069 And l am the official sea greeter here at Sealand Orlando, 182 01:36:04,166 --> 01:36:06,601 home to sea creatures of the world and beyond. 183 01:36:06,699 --> 01:36:08,034 That's wonderful. Thank you. 184 01:36:08,133 --> 01:36:09,367 l have a student here named Billy 185 01:36:09,466 --> 01:36:12,936 who claims he can teach a whale to jump out of its own tail. 186 01:36:13,100 --> 01:36:13,834 [ Laughter ] 187 01:36:13,933 --> 01:36:15,200 l know. 188 01:36:15,300 --> 01:36:17,068 -That's impossible. -Thank you. 189 01:36:17,166 --> 01:36:19,568 You would have to be, like, the greatest whale trainer ever born 190 01:36:19,666 --> 01:36:21,000 to do something like that. 191 01:36:21,100 --> 01:36:22,568 -lt is as you say. -Oh, my God. 192 01:36:22,666 --> 01:36:24,868 No, it's not. He's lying. He is a liar. 193 01:36:24,966 --> 01:36:26,834 Billy, be silent. 194 01:36:26,966 --> 01:36:28,801 Might we borrow one of your whales 195 01:36:28,899 --> 01:36:31,469 so that Billy could show us all this impressive feat of his? 196 01:36:31,566 --> 01:36:34,368 l'm sorry, but we are temporarily out of whales 197 01:36:34,466 --> 01:36:35,667 here at Sealand Orlando, 198 01:36:35,766 --> 01:36:37,567 home to sea creatures of the world and beyond. 199 01:36:37,666 --> 01:36:40,869 You see, the last hurricane that came through here, Jennifer, 200 01:36:40,966 --> 01:36:43,001 picked up all the whales up out of their tank 201 01:36:43,100 --> 01:36:45,469 and dropped them down onto the old abandoned barbwire factory 202 01:36:45,566 --> 01:36:47,100 on the outskirts of town. 203 01:36:47,199 --> 01:36:49,669 We found old Sham-Sham with his tail all twisted up 204 01:36:49,766 --> 01:36:51,667 and impaled on a piece of barbwire. 205 01:36:51,766 --> 01:36:54,835 He was trying to get back to the sea with his little whale fins. 206 01:36:54,933 --> 01:36:57,135 He made it about halfway through the basketball court, 207 01:36:57,233 --> 01:36:58,934 but he iust couldn't get his tail free. 208 01:36:59,033 --> 01:37:01,402 So he slowly baked to death there on the asphalt 209 01:37:01,500 --> 01:37:02,801 while the local schoolkids came out 210 01:37:02,899 --> 01:37:06,203 and used his body as a bike ramp. 211 01:37:06,899 --> 01:37:09,302 l could have taught him how to get away from his tail. 212 01:37:09,399 --> 01:37:11,034 Billy, shut up! 213 01:37:11,133 --> 01:37:13,935 Everybody back in the car. We're going to Mexico. 214 01:37:14,033 --> 01:37:15,067 Let's go, kids. 215 01:37:15,233 --> 01:37:17,201 l'm coming with! 216 01:37:18,333 --> 01:37:22,570 You know a whale's heart is eight times the size of a man's? 217 01:37:22,666 --> 01:37:24,334 l heard that Sham-Sham finally died 218 01:37:24,433 --> 01:37:26,835 when some kid stabbed him in the eye with a ruler. 219 01:37:26,933 --> 01:37:29,435 But l think his heart was just too big for this world. 220 01:37:29,533 --> 01:37:32,168 l want all of the children to make a promise to me 221 01:37:32,266 --> 01:37:34,067 that when Billy is discovered to be a liar, 222 01:37:34,166 --> 01:37:36,902 they will not be friends with him anymore. 223 01:37:37,000 --> 01:37:38,334 Hey, Miss Lambert, 224 01:37:38,433 --> 01:37:40,935 how do you get all those cool blue lines in your legs? 225 01:37:41,033 --> 01:37:42,267 [ Laughter ] 226 01:37:42,366 --> 01:37:45,068 ''Mexico -- 4 miles.'' 227 01:37:47,966 --> 01:37:51,202 lN SPANISH: Welcome from the Ocean of Mexico, 228 01:37:51,333 --> 01:37:53,568 the home of marine ocean. 229 01:37:53,699 --> 01:37:56,502 Hello, my name is Mrs. Lambert. 230 01:37:56,600 --> 01:37:59,636 And l teach third grade at Akron Elementary in Akron, Ohio. 231 01:37:59,733 --> 01:38:01,301 l have a student here named Billy 232 01:38:01,399 --> 01:38:05,203 who claims he can teach a whale to jump out of its tail. 233 01:38:05,300 --> 01:38:06,367 lN SPANISH: Oh, my God. 234 01:38:06,466 --> 01:38:08,401 Only the one foretold in prophecy 235 01:38:08,500 --> 01:38:11,669 who could one day unite the eight wandering tribes of Mexico 236 01:38:11,766 --> 01:38:13,167 can accomplish such a feat. 237 01:38:13,266 --> 01:38:14,900 Behold. l am among you. 238 01:38:15,000 --> 01:38:16,768 No. He's lying. He is a liar. 239 01:38:16,933 --> 01:38:19,602 Billy, l will beat you lifeless! 240 01:38:19,699 --> 01:38:21,301 Might we borrow one of your whales 241 01:38:21,399 --> 01:38:23,969 so that Billy could show us all this impressive feat? 242 01:38:24,866 --> 01:38:28,035 Silly lady. There are no whales in Mexico. 243 01:38:28,199 --> 01:38:29,901 Then why does your sign say ''Whale World''? 244 01:38:30,000 --> 01:38:32,268 What, that sign right there? That says ''Wahale World.'' 245 01:38:32,366 --> 01:38:33,533 What the fuck is a ''wahale''? 246 01:38:33,633 --> 01:38:35,801 lt's kind of like a chalupa. There's whale in it. 247 01:38:35,899 --> 01:38:38,369 Okay. That's it. l'm gonna find one myself. 248 01:38:38,466 --> 01:38:40,067 Kids, to the ocean! Let's go. 249 01:38:40,166 --> 01:38:42,268 l'm coming with. 250 01:38:44,000 --> 01:38:46,135 The ocean, she's crazy. 251 01:38:46,233 --> 01:38:49,636 Once saw a dolphin jump out of the water 20 feet, 252 01:38:49,733 --> 01:38:51,134 and on its way down, 253 01:38:51,233 --> 01:38:53,301 clubbed a girl in the head with a lead pipe. 254 01:38:53,399 --> 01:38:56,669 Okay, iust stop the boat here. This is a good spot. 255 01:38:56,766 --> 01:38:59,802 Billy, l am gonna find you a whale. 256 01:38:59,899 --> 01:39:02,235 And l'm gonna teach it to jump out of its tail. 257 01:39:02,333 --> 01:39:04,868 And unite the brethren of the wandering tribes. 258 01:39:04,966 --> 01:39:05,966 Maybe. 259 01:39:06,066 --> 01:39:08,535 Shucks, kid, l just wish you the best. 260 01:39:08,633 --> 01:39:10,901 Whale ho! Right off the starboard side! 261 01:39:11,100 --> 01:39:12,167 Okay, everybody. 262 01:39:12,266 --> 01:39:15,235 Let's pay attention as Billy teaches this whale 263 01:39:15,333 --> 01:39:17,001 to iump out of its own tail. 264 01:39:17,100 --> 01:39:21,137 Billy, the floor is yours. 265 01:39:22,000 --> 01:39:25,069 [ Whale clicks and groans ] 266 01:39:31,600 --> 01:39:33,868 Holy shit! 267 01:39:47,800 --> 01:39:50,335 Billy, you better get ready for.... 268 01:39:51,199 --> 01:39:53,201 Oh, my God. 269 01:39:56,199 --> 01:39:59,169 You look so awesome right now. 270 01:39:59,266 --> 01:40:01,334 You look so cool with that thing. 271 01:40:01,433 --> 01:40:03,301 Hold it up again. You look amazing. 272 01:40:03,399 --> 01:40:04,834 You look like the raddest kid ever. 273 01:40:04,933 --> 01:40:05,833 Wait a minute. 274 01:40:05,933 --> 01:40:08,135 Here. Try on my sunglasses. 275 01:40:09,199 --> 01:40:10,100 Whoa! 276 01:40:10,199 --> 01:40:11,868 That looks awesome! 277 01:40:12,033 --> 01:40:13,601 You know how cool you look right now? 278 01:40:13,699 --> 01:40:15,268 You look like the devil. 279 01:40:15,433 --> 01:40:16,133 Here. 280 01:40:18,100 --> 01:40:20,502 Smoke one of my cigarettes. Put one of those in your mouth. 281 01:40:20,600 --> 01:40:22,435 Just suck on this like a lollipop. 282 01:40:23,300 --> 01:40:25,402 That looks amazing. That is so awesome. 283 01:40:25,500 --> 01:40:26,734 Honey, come up here. 284 01:40:26,833 --> 01:40:28,301 That is amazing. 285 01:40:28,399 --> 01:40:29,968 Wait. l got to get a camera. 286 01:40:49,866 --> 01:40:51,434 Hey, Rick. 287 01:40:54,166 --> 01:40:55,934 Hey, Rick. 288 01:40:56,033 --> 01:40:57,267 Yeah? 289 01:40:57,366 --> 01:40:59,034 Can l ask you something? 290 01:40:59,133 --> 01:41:00,868 Yeah. Sure. 291 01:41:02,066 --> 01:41:05,068 When did this cult get so weird? 292 01:41:05,166 --> 01:41:06,667 What do you mean? 293 01:41:06,766 --> 01:41:10,002 l mean, this cult, it's iust.... 294 01:41:10,100 --> 01:41:12,335 lt's not like how we started, you know? 295 01:41:12,433 --> 01:41:13,667 l don't mind it. 296 01:41:13,766 --> 01:41:15,400 Well, l'm not saying l mind it. 297 01:41:15,500 --> 01:41:21,272 l'm iust saying that, you know, it's gotten a little...lately. 298 01:41:21,366 --> 01:41:23,468 l'd say our cult's a bit eccentric. 299 01:41:23,566 --> 01:41:25,501 Okay. So we're on the same page. 300 01:41:25,600 --> 01:41:28,135 You're iust using the word ''eccentric.'' 301 01:41:28,233 --> 01:41:31,402 But when did it start being like that, you know? 302 01:41:31,500 --> 01:41:33,435 lt wasn't always like this. 303 01:41:33,533 --> 01:41:36,435 Yeah. You're right. 304 01:41:37,300 --> 01:41:41,037 l think it was when they started making us all wear the same T-shirts. 305 01:41:41,133 --> 01:41:42,334 l think that's when it started. 306 01:41:42,433 --> 01:41:44,201 Well, that was for the softball tournament. 307 01:41:44,300 --> 01:41:46,035 Yeah, well that's how they ushe! red it in. 308 01:41:46,133 --> 01:41:47,634 But then it became robes and... 309 01:41:47,733 --> 01:41:49,468 l like the robes. The robes are fun. 310 01:41:49,566 --> 01:41:52,135 Yeah. The robes are fun. l'm just.... 311 01:41:52,233 --> 01:41:54,401 lt's iust not normal, you know? 312 01:41:54,500 --> 01:41:56,635 The robes aren't that weird. 313 01:41:56,733 --> 01:41:58,401 Okay, the robes aren't that weird. 314 01:41:58,500 --> 01:42:00,568 But you know what? It's not even about the robes. 315 01:42:00,666 --> 01:42:03,301 lt's iust there's something really off about this group, 316 01:42:03,399 --> 01:42:05,869 and l can't put my finger on it. 317 01:42:19,233 --> 01:42:21,602 We don't even play softball anymore. 318 01:42:21,699 --> 01:42:22,600 l know. 319 01:42:22,699 --> 01:42:24,535 And what's with training us how to shoot Uzis? 320 01:42:24,633 --> 01:42:26,601 l don't need to know how to shoot an Uzi. 321 01:42:26,699 --> 01:42:29,069 We haven't played softball in like four years. 322 01:42:29,166 --> 01:42:30,867 That's how this group works, though. 323 01:42:30,966 --> 01:42:32,600 They start you out playing softball. 324 01:42:32,699 --> 01:42:35,135 Then all of a sudden you need to wear the T-shirts all the time. 325 01:42:35,233 --> 01:42:36,634 Then you have to live on-grounds. 326 01:42:36,733 --> 01:42:37,967 Then no one can come and visit. 327 01:42:38,066 --> 01:42:41,269 lt's very gradual with this group. 328 01:42:41,366 --> 01:42:44,402 l guess it was pretty weird when we had to rename the planets. 329 01:42:44,500 --> 01:42:45,734 Yeah. That was weird. 330 01:42:45,833 --> 01:42:47,834 lt's like we're a bunch of Mormons or something. 331 01:42:47,933 --> 01:42:50,635 -Hey, we are not like the Mormons. -Okay. l'm exaggerating. 332 01:42:50,733 --> 01:42:52,935 But you could see how, in a couple of years.... 333 01:42:53,033 --> 01:42:54,334 There's an alien coming. 334 01:42:54,433 --> 01:42:55,734 And he's a real swell guy. 335 01:42:55,833 --> 01:42:57,100 And l hope he brings an army. 336 01:42:57,199 --> 01:42:58,267 And l hope we don't die. 337 01:42:58,366 --> 01:42:59,867 Hoorah! 338 01:43:01,100 --> 01:43:02,668 Like that song, man. 339 01:43:02,766 --> 01:43:05,201 l've been singing that song for l don't know how many years. 340 01:43:05,300 --> 01:43:06,634 l don't know what it means. 341 01:43:06,733 --> 01:43:07,900 Bill wrote that song. 342 01:43:08,000 --> 01:43:08,700 Bill. 343 01:43:08,800 --> 01:43:10,868 You know, that's when things started to get weird. 344 01:43:10,966 --> 01:43:12,834 Once Bill got promoted to high prophet, 345 01:43:12,933 --> 01:43:15,235 some cuckoo stuff started going on. 346 01:43:15,333 --> 01:43:17,068 l don't know. Bill's a good leader. 347 01:43:17,166 --> 01:43:20,068 Bill the Most High will see you now. 348 01:43:20,166 --> 01:43:22,101 [ Bill bleats ] 349 01:43:24,533 --> 01:43:28,236 lt's iust weird, man. 350 01:43:34,966 --> 01:43:36,867 Boys, boys, settle down, settle down. 351 01:43:36,966 --> 01:43:37,966 Listen up. 352 01:43:38,066 --> 01:43:39,867 Your father and l are going to the store. 353 01:43:39,966 --> 01:43:41,367 -To buy lubricant. -Charles! 354 01:43:41,466 --> 01:43:42,800 And amyl nitrite. 355 01:43:42,933 --> 01:43:45,335 You see, boys, your mother and l have gotten to that point 356 01:43:45,433 --> 01:43:46,967 that a lot of married couples reach, 357 01:43:47,066 --> 01:43:49,668 where we begin to grow tired of the mundane and the routine. 358 01:43:49,766 --> 01:43:52,802 At this point, a lot of couples tend to have extramarital affairs. 359 01:43:52,899 --> 01:43:53,900 Oh, Dad! 360 01:43:54,033 --> 01:43:55,234 Let me finish. 361 01:43:55,333 --> 01:43:58,436 So in order to avoid the pitfalls that beset so many couples, 362 01:43:58,533 --> 01:44:01,602 your mother and l have decided to spice up the proverbial sack. 363 01:44:01,699 --> 01:44:03,234 -Oh, come on! -Hey, hey, hold on. 364 01:44:03,333 --> 01:44:06,736 So instead of cheating on your mother with another woman, 365 01:44:06,833 --> 01:44:09,902 l've decided to cheat on her vagina with her butt hole. 366 01:44:10,033 --> 01:44:11,200 Oh, Dad. Be quiet. 367 01:44:11,300 --> 01:44:13,568 Hey, hey. Now that's called being a good dad, okay? 368 01:44:13,666 --> 01:44:16,068 Everybody's happy. l'm definitely happy. 369 01:44:16,166 --> 01:44:17,534 Your mother's not being cheated on. 370 01:44:17,633 --> 01:44:19,901 And you kids are happy that you have such a happy pop. 371 01:44:20,000 --> 01:44:21,368 And the family's all together. 372 01:44:22,166 --> 01:44:23,634 Dad, go to the store. 373 01:44:23,733 --> 01:44:25,134 Okay. We're going, we're going. 374 01:44:25,233 --> 01:44:27,501 The other perk is l get to bust in there. 375 01:44:27,666 --> 01:44:28,933 Oh, come on! 376 01:44:29,100 --> 01:44:31,735 Okay, now, boys, we don't want any incidents like last time, all right? 377 01:44:31,833 --> 01:44:33,801 -We want all of you to be good. -We will, Mom. 378 01:44:33,899 --> 01:44:35,268 Be safe, kids. 379 01:44:39,133 --> 01:44:41,802 Nail gun! 380 01:44:41,899 --> 01:44:43,701 Hey, Sam, let me shoot an apple off your head. 381 01:44:43,800 --> 01:44:45,601 l don't have an apple on my head. 382 01:44:45,699 --> 01:44:47,401 Nail gun! 383 01:44:47,500 --> 01:44:49,034 Oh, Trevor, you killed him. 384 01:44:49,199 --> 01:44:52,536 Yeah, killed with the nail gun. 385 01:44:52,633 --> 01:44:54,468 No, he's really dead, man. Look! 386 01:44:54,566 --> 01:44:56,334 Oh, man. He's getting blood everywhere. 387 01:44:56,433 --> 01:44:57,867 You're gonna get in so much trouble. 388 01:44:57,966 --> 01:44:59,100 You're gonna get in trouble, too. 389 01:44:59,199 --> 01:45:01,168 We were both playing with the nail gun. 390 01:45:01,266 --> 01:45:03,434 Doesn't sound right when you say it that way. 391 01:45:03,533 --> 01:45:06,369 We were both playing with the nail gun! 392 01:45:06,466 --> 01:45:07,600 What are we gonna do? 393 01:45:07,699 --> 01:45:10,636 There's got to be some way we can bring him back to life. 394 01:45:10,733 --> 01:45:12,901 The Necronomicon! 395 01:45:13,000 --> 01:45:14,901 Top shelf, dude. 396 01:45:15,066 --> 01:45:16,167 Chapter 1 8. 397 01:45:16,266 --> 01:45:17,834 Okay, okay. 398 01:45:19,366 --> 01:45:20,934 Jumanii. 399 01:45:21,800 --> 01:45:23,168 lt worked! 400 01:45:23,266 --> 01:45:27,570 l've seen horrible things. l've been to the lake of fire. 401 01:45:27,666 --> 01:45:30,402 A second here is a millennia in Hades. 402 01:45:30,500 --> 01:45:32,568 Okay, well, calm down, man. You're okay now. 403 01:45:32,666 --> 01:45:35,869 My dick split open and locusts flew out. 404 01:45:36,033 --> 01:45:39,336 A badger raped me with a thorned cock. 405 01:45:39,433 --> 01:45:41,168 You had anal? Gay. 406 01:45:41,266 --> 01:45:42,634 lt was so gay! 407 01:45:42,733 --> 01:45:45,335 You have no idea how gay it was! 408 01:45:45,433 --> 01:45:46,667 Well, Sam, you're all right now. 409 01:45:46,766 --> 01:45:48,901 Yeah, be quiet. Mom and Dad are gonna be home any minute. 410 01:45:49,000 --> 01:45:52,837 They turned my rectum inside out and nailed it to a fence post! 411 01:45:52,933 --> 01:45:55,135 l drowned in wasps! 412 01:45:55,233 --> 01:45:56,867 Okay. Sam, be quiet. 413 01:45:57,033 --> 01:46:00,636 l gouged my eyes out to stop seeing the horrors, 414 01:46:00,800 --> 01:46:02,101 but they only grew back! 415 01:46:02,199 --> 01:46:04,535 Out of my way. l've got a marriage to save. 416 01:46:04,866 --> 01:46:08,302 Every step l took, l stubbed my toe. 417 01:46:08,399 --> 01:46:10,702 They only gave me thumbtacks to eat. 418 01:46:10,800 --> 01:46:12,468 That sounds pretty shitty, Sam. 419 01:46:12,566 --> 01:46:15,702 My dick split open and locusts flew out. 420 01:46:15,800 --> 01:46:17,134 Yeah, you already told us that. 421 01:46:17,233 --> 01:46:19,068 Well, it happened a lot. 422 01:46:19,233 --> 01:46:21,468 Well, boys, am l glowing? 423 01:46:22,199 --> 01:46:26,337 Boys, for the rest of the day, do not smell this finger. 424 01:46:27,966 --> 01:46:30,768 The worst part is, is since l've been to their world, 425 01:46:30,866 --> 01:46:33,235 they can control my body. 426 01:46:33,366 --> 01:46:33,866 Hey! 427 01:46:33,966 --> 01:46:35,400 Hey, what's wrong with Sammy? 428 01:46:38,066 --> 01:46:39,066 Nothing. 429 01:46:39,166 --> 01:46:41,001 My soul has merged with all that has died 430 01:46:41,100 --> 01:46:42,134 and all that will die. 431 01:46:42,233 --> 01:46:43,467 Hey, that sounds like hellspeak. 432 01:46:43,566 --> 01:46:44,867 What have you boys been up to in here? 433 01:46:45,000 --> 01:46:48,103 -Uhh, rehearsing for a play. -Yeah, we're just running lines. 434 01:46:48,199 --> 01:46:49,334 You were running lines? 435 01:46:49,433 --> 01:46:51,868 You didn't accidentally kill Sam with the nail gun 436 01:46:51,966 --> 01:46:53,834 and have to bring him back from the depths of hell? 437 01:46:53,933 --> 01:46:54,933 No. 438 01:46:55,100 --> 01:46:56,367 Carpe diem! Carpe diem! 439 01:46:56,533 --> 01:46:57,934 Hey, that's Latin. 440 01:46:58,033 --> 01:46:59,467 Honey, bring me the holy water. 441 01:46:59,566 --> 01:47:01,834 Fuck my pussy! Fuck my pussy! Fuck my pussy! 442 01:47:04,399 --> 01:47:05,100 Okay. 443 01:47:05,266 --> 01:47:06,700 Now, you two, 444 01:47:06,866 --> 01:47:08,867 l am very upset that you went ahead 445 01:47:08,966 --> 01:47:10,767 and killed your brother with the nail gun 446 01:47:10,866 --> 01:47:13,501 after we specifically told you to be careful. 447 01:47:13,600 --> 01:47:16,402 However, l am pleased to see that you were smart enough 448 01:47:16,500 --> 01:47:18,435 to use the Necronomicon in a pinch. 449 01:47:18,533 --> 01:47:19,901 Now, both of you go up to your room. 450 01:47:20,000 --> 01:47:21,334 You're grounded for two months. 451 01:47:21,433 --> 01:47:22,700 -But, Dad. -The sock hop. 452 01:47:22,800 --> 01:47:25,936 l'll sock your hops. Now get out of here. 453 01:47:26,100 --> 01:47:27,701 Hold on, Sam. We need to have a little chat. 454 01:47:27,800 --> 01:47:29,468 But l wasn't playing with the nail gun. 455 01:47:29,566 --> 01:47:31,634 l'm not talking about the nail gun. 456 01:47:31,733 --> 01:47:34,335 Sam, when most people die, they go to purgatory. 457 01:47:34,433 --> 01:47:36,468 Why is it that you went straight to hell? 458 01:47:36,566 --> 01:47:37,500 l don't know. 459 01:47:37,600 --> 01:47:38,600 Sam? 460 01:47:38,699 --> 01:47:40,535 You have no idea why that might be? 461 01:47:40,633 --> 01:47:42,835 l have pornos. 462 01:47:43,000 --> 01:47:44,067 That's what l thought. 463 01:47:44,166 --> 01:47:45,667 Bring them to your mother and l. 464 01:47:49,199 --> 01:47:51,302 Well, dear, we've had a pretty eventful day. 465 01:47:51,399 --> 01:47:53,335 We had a nice talk with Zach and Trevor. 466 01:47:53,433 --> 01:47:55,368 Got a hold of Sam's pornography stash. 467 01:47:55,466 --> 01:47:56,967 And l finally got to wriggle inside 468 01:47:57,066 --> 01:47:58,867 that sweet, sweet poop chute of yours. 469 01:47:58,966 --> 01:48:00,467 -Yes, you did. -Yeah, l did. 470 01:48:00,566 --> 01:48:02,701 You should go check out the toilet. l just shit it out. 471 01:48:02,800 --> 01:48:05,002 Oh, frosted turd! 472 01:48:08,466 --> 01:48:11,669 MARRA_OR: Billy Matherson was a mild-mannered 8-year-old boy 473 01:48:11,766 --> 01:48:15,136 until one day he stuck a fork in an electric socket 474 01:48:15,300 --> 01:48:19,404 and became Electro Boy. 475 01:48:19,566 --> 01:48:20,700 Electro Boy 476 01:48:20,800 --> 01:48:22,268 Saving the universe 477 01:48:22,366 --> 01:48:23,366 Electro Boy 478 01:48:23,966 --> 01:48:25,567 Beating the enemy 479 01:48:35,433 --> 01:48:37,001 l'm so bored. 480 01:48:37,166 --> 01:48:40,469 NARRATOR: reddy was having the most boring afternoon 481 01:48:40,633 --> 01:48:43,135 until he met the coolest stranger ever. 482 01:48:43,233 --> 01:48:45,702 Hey, kid. You want to go for a ride? 483 01:48:45,800 --> 01:48:47,401 There's some candy in it for you. 484 01:48:47,500 --> 01:48:49,869 Saturdays can be so much fun 485 01:48:49,966 --> 01:48:52,401 When you meet a new secret friend 486 01:48:57,933 --> 01:49:00,235 Man, that babysitter is so cute. 487 01:49:00,333 --> 01:49:02,401 l totally want to make out with her. 488 01:49:02,500 --> 01:49:06,470 Yeah, but she'd never make out with little kids like us. 489 01:49:06,566 --> 01:49:08,901 But what if we forced her to?