1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,600
<i>Admit it, dude.
You totally cried.</i>

2
00:00:03,722 --> 00:00:04,860
<i>I didn't cry, Charlie.</i>

3
00:00:04,977 --> 00:00:06,709
<i>I saw tears coming out of
your eye...</i>

4
00:00:06,829 --> 00:00:09,568
Extreme Home Makeover will
make the hardest man soft.

5
00:00:09,690 --> 00:00:10,997
Oh, it makes everybody cry.

6
00:00:11,115 --> 00:00:12,843
- That is really ridiculous.
- Oh, is it?

7
00:00:12,963 --> 00:00:15,520
You're the biggest thief I've
ever met in my life.

8
00:00:15,642 --> 00:00:18,765
Dennis, do you know that she is
inheriting my house?

9
00:00:18,889 --> 00:00:21,951
Of course he knows it. He's the one who
lost the house by letting you into it.

10
00:00:22,074 --> 00:00:24,961
And now since I'm his next of
kin the house belongs to me.

11
00:00:25,085 --> 00:00:26,844
Frank, if you want to get
your house back, check it out.

12
00:00:26,963 --> 00:00:29,059
Make a vision board, put your
house on it-- boom.

13
00:00:29,179 --> 00:00:31,447
- You get the house back.
- What the hell's a vision board?

14
00:00:31,541 --> 00:00:32,541
Oh, it's the secret.

15
00:00:32,639 --> 00:00:35,607
Yeah, the secret is a self-help book
that Dee read and explained to us.

16
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,928
It's about how you can get whatever
you want without having to work for it.

17
00:00:38,048 --> 00:00:40,773
Yeah, man, all you have to do is envision
all the shit in the world that you want,

18
00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:42,799
cut pictures of it out and paste it
on a board,

19
00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:44,541
- and then you get it. You get the stuff.
- Check it out.

20
00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:48,068
See how I got all these sweet pics of
Ty Pennington from Extreme Home Makeover?

21
00:00:48,193 --> 00:00:50,171
I'm gonna become like him.
I'm gonna have that dude's life.

22
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,350
Yeah, now, that's Charlie's
vision, but it's not mine.

23
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:55,037
You see, my vision is to have a
gorgeous yellow Lamborghini

24
00:00:55,159 --> 00:00:56,773
that I'm very much
looking forward to driving.

25
00:00:56,892 --> 00:00:58,702
Yeah, and I'm gonna
impregnate Danica Patrick

26
00:00:58,822 --> 00:01:01,874
while getting drunk in the Sahara
Desert on a dune buggy.

27
00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:06,909
I hate to tell you this, but,
you know, this self-help stuff--

28
00:01:07,035 --> 00:01:09,225
it's all bullshit. It's a big scam.

29
00:01:09,345 --> 00:01:12,389
Oh, is it, Frank? That's funny,
'cause that's how I got the house.

30
00:01:12,513 --> 00:01:15,235
See, I envisioned the courts
recognizing how ridiculous it was

31
00:01:15,358 --> 00:01:17,751
that my son of a bitch, asshole
mother didn't leave me anything

32
00:01:17,872 --> 00:01:21,337
and then I did some good deeds
and boom, I'm rich. Mansion rich.

33
00:01:21,462 --> 00:01:22,562
Wait a second.

34
00:01:22,711 --> 00:01:24,869
You didn't say anything about doing
good deeds. Is that a part of this?

35
00:01:24,989 --> 00:01:26,070
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's part of it.

36
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,736
You have to do that.
You get back what you put in.

37
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,196
Right!
That makes sense.

38
00:01:29,314 --> 00:01:31,732
That's probably why Ty
Pennington has such a sweet life.

39
00:01:31,854 --> 00:01:35,322
- Yeah, man, and he's got great hair, too.
- Of course he's got great hair.

40
00:01:35,447 --> 00:01:37,442
You know, this has got me
thinking, guys.

41
00:01:37,562 --> 00:01:41,191
It could be really beneficial
for us to go out and actually

42
00:01:41,317 --> 00:01:43,322
- do some good deeds.
- Wait a second.

43
00:01:43,442 --> 00:01:46,080
Maybe helping other people is
the best way to help ourselves.

44
00:01:46,202 --> 00:01:49,616
Right, right. So like what is the
best way you can help other people?

45
00:01:49,741 --> 00:01:52,222
The best way in the world to
help other people.

46
00:01:53,119 --> 00:01:56,308
- What would Ty Pennington do?
- What would Ty Pennington do?

47
00:01:58,349 --> 00:02:03,078
Synchro: Criztian & Sososeries

48
00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:33,380
What the hell are you doin'
with my bowling ball?

49
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,742
It's no longer a bowling ball,
Frank, it's now a wrecking ball.

50
00:02:36,308 --> 00:02:40,010
We're gonna use it to tear down a house
and then we're gonna build up a dream.

51
00:02:40,136 --> 00:02:42,789
Yeah, baby. And then we get our
Lamborghinis and our Danica Patricks and...

52
00:02:42,911 --> 00:02:44,176
- Whatever we want.
- Ooh, you guys.

53
00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,661
I want to jump in on this if
that's okay,

54
00:02:45,779 --> 00:02:47,875
'cause I ran the numbers and I'm gonna
need a butt load of money

55
00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:49,753
to pay the property taxes
on my new mansion.

56
00:02:49,873 --> 00:02:52,389
- My mansion.
- Jesus, Frank, really still?

57
00:02:52,511 --> 00:02:53,836
Why do you care?
You don't even want to live there.

58
00:02:53,954 --> 00:02:55,976
That's not the point,
Deandra-- the point is

59
00:02:56,096 --> 00:02:57,716
it is my house and I should own it!

60
00:02:57,835 --> 00:03:00,880
I'll tell you what. Help us out and the
universe'll probably give it back to you.

61
00:03:01,003 --> 00:03:03,695
I don't think so, Charlie. See, I'm
operating at a much higher vibration

62
00:03:03,818 --> 00:03:06,461
which I think is gonna counteract
his attempts at positive energy.

63
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:07,566
I'll keep the house.

64
00:03:07,649 --> 00:03:10,684
You think that your energy's
more positive than mine?

65
00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:11,766
Uh, yeah.

66
00:03:11,846 --> 00:03:14,037
I want in on this so I can
screw over Deandra.

67
00:03:14,158 --> 00:03:15,504
You know what, man?
Perfect,

68
00:03:15,622 --> 00:03:17,556
because we were planning
on using your construction experience

69
00:03:17,676 --> 00:03:18,981
and your connections anyway.

70
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,945
- I'll be the foreman.
- Yeah, great, excellent.

71
00:03:21,064 --> 00:03:23,088
Well, then why don't you hop on
the renovations with Charlie

72
00:03:23,209 --> 00:03:26,529
and I-- Mac, why don't you get
started on the family makeover with Dee.

73
00:03:27,013 --> 00:03:29,862
Family makeover with Dee? No, I want
to be a part of the renovation team.

74
00:03:29,985 --> 00:03:31,608
I know you do, but the thing
is...

75
00:03:31,726 --> 00:03:35,749
You get so excited about the smashing
and then you make it competitive.

76
00:03:35,877 --> 00:03:37,359
- You turn it into a competition.
- That's bullshit,

77
00:03:37,477 --> 00:03:38,979
because I'm a better
smasher than you guys!

78
00:03:39,097 --> 00:03:40,782
I should be on the head of the
smashing team!

79
00:03:40,902 --> 00:03:43,260
- You want to have a smash off?
- A smash off?!

80
00:03:43,381 --> 00:03:45,704
- You can't even help yourself, can you?
- Okay, fine, fine.

81
00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:47,316
Dee and I are gonna kick your
ass, okay.

82
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:50,844
Because our makeover is gonna be
so much more extreme than yours.

83
00:03:51,372 --> 00:03:53,057
Well, now hold on a second.
Charlie,

84
00:03:53,176 --> 00:03:55,035
our renovations are
gonna be pretty extreme, right?

85
00:03:55,155 --> 00:03:57,198
Let's-let's all agree that
we're gonna go about this

86
00:03:57,318 --> 00:03:59,249
in the most extreme way
possible, okay.

87
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:02,452
First things first, let's find a family
to unleash our extremeness all over.

88
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,563
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a desperate family
that's gonna yield us the highest return.

89
00:04:05,686 --> 00:04:08,480
How about the Mexican family
that moved in down the block?

90
00:04:08,603 --> 00:04:11,712
Right. What is their name?
The Juarez family I think.

91
00:04:11,836 --> 00:04:14,008
Oh, that's perfect!
We can help the Juarez family.

92
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,311
- Great. Great.
- They're good, they're good.

93
00:04:15,428 --> 00:04:16,596
Their place is a real shit-hole.

94
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,934
Okay, great, then the Juarez
family it is. It's settled.

95
00:04:19,055 --> 00:04:22,229
Okay, okay, and I think I know the
most extreme way to go about this.

96
00:04:25,351 --> 00:04:27,135
Okay, Dee, you got the
blindfolds, right?

97
00:04:27,255 --> 00:04:28,548
Well, do you guys think that
the blindfolds

98
00:04:28,665 --> 00:04:30,522
- are absolutely necessary?
- Yes, the blindfolds are necessary.

99
00:04:30,642 --> 00:04:32,826
They're there to heighten the
sense of surprise and excitement

100
00:04:32,947 --> 00:04:35,222
creating an enjoyable experience
for the family-- extreme!

101
00:04:35,343 --> 00:04:38,082
Okay, but here's the thing.
I couldn't find any blindfolds per say,

102
00:04:38,205 --> 00:04:39,933
but I did bring some plastic bags.

103
00:04:41,734 --> 00:04:43,250
Ok, here we go, bitchies...

104
00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:47,641
Go! Go! Go! Go!

105
00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:51,560
<i>Good morning, Juarez family!</i>

106
00:04:52,728 --> 00:04:55,510
Wake up, my brown friend.
It's time to change your life.

107
00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:56,759
Yeah!

108
00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:59,235
Is that inspirational music,
what is that?

109
00:04:59,356 --> 00:05:00,931
Yeah, man, inspirational.

110
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,879
All right, that's cool.
That's cool, I guess.

111
00:05:03,273 --> 00:05:05,033
Come here, you little rug rat.

112
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,028
What are you doing?

113
00:05:07,146 --> 00:05:09,401
What's wrong, buddy?
Come on, I'm trying to help you.

114
00:05:09,522 --> 00:05:11,169
Hey, where's your wife?
Come on!

115
00:05:11,288 --> 00:05:12,962
Look, I'm gonna fix your house.

116
00:05:13,553 --> 00:05:15,310
Where's your daughter?
Where's your daughter?

117
00:05:15,430 --> 00:05:19,227
<i>Congratulations!
We've got a surprise for you.</i>

118
00:05:20,273 --> 00:05:21,878
Okay, hold still.

119
00:05:21,997 --> 00:05:24,188
Can't run from
the kindness of strangers.

120
00:05:24,309 --> 00:05:28,622
<i>We are taking over your house.
Your house is ours now!</i>

121
00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:31,312
<i>Your lives are gonna change
forever.</i>

122
00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:35,232
- Oh, it feels good to help people.
- Oh, man, it sure does.

123
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,329
<i>Okay, bag 'em.</i>

124
00:05:37,917 --> 00:05:42,471
<i>And good-bye, Juarez family.</i>

125
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,207
Yeah, all right!
Good job! Good job!

126
00:05:45,329 --> 00:05:47,959
- Hey, foreman, what's the plan?
- Mr. Foreman.

127
00:05:48,028 --> 00:05:49,028
- The plan?
- Yeah.

128
00:05:49,119 --> 00:05:51,591
You guys get to work.
I'm gonna go hop in one of their beds

129
00:05:51,712 --> 00:05:53,792
and get some shut-eye.
I'm running on fumes.

130
00:05:54,255 --> 00:05:56,291
Hey, man, there's no time for that.
We're on a deadline here.

131
00:05:56,411 --> 00:05:57,637
Now, when's your crew arriving?

132
00:05:58,211 --> 00:05:59,409
My crew, what crew?

133
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,671
The construction crew.
When do those guys get here?

134
00:06:01,792 --> 00:06:03,423
You-you're the crew.

135
00:06:03,542 --> 00:06:07,053
That's the way I do it.
I hire two guys and let them sweat it out.

136
00:06:07,206 --> 00:06:10,096
All right, now, keep it down
because I'm a very light sleeper.

137
00:06:13,955 --> 00:06:16,401
Welcome to makeover
headquarters, Juarez family!

138
00:06:16,522 --> 00:06:18,753
This is gonna be your home for
the next couple of days.

139
00:06:18,874 --> 00:06:21,210
Hey, in order to assimilate
you with American culture,

140
00:06:21,332 --> 00:06:24,090
we've decided to surround
you with all things American.

141
00:06:24,213 --> 00:06:26,374
Now who's ready for a makeover?

142
00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:28,543
This one is.

143
00:06:28,954 --> 00:06:31,338
- Um, not that excited.
- No, not that excited at all.

144
00:06:32,156 --> 00:06:34,570
I... okay, I think there
might be a bit of a language barrier.

145
00:06:34,779 --> 00:06:36,627
- Well, that could be an issue.
- Well, no, no, no, no.

146
00:06:36,747 --> 00:06:40,356
No, hold up, uh, somebody took a
couple years of Spanish in high school.

147
00:06:40,482 --> 00:06:41,830
- Okay, you rember?
- I'm gonna dust off the cobwebs

148
00:06:41,948 --> 00:06:43,438
and see if I can fire
off a couple phrases.

149
00:06:43,556 --> 00:06:46,269
Tell them, um, to relax first off
'cause they look a little tense.

150
00:06:46,392 --> 00:06:48,791
And then, uh, we're gonna build
them a new house

151
00:06:48,912 --> 00:06:51,498
and a new life just like
on Extreme Makeover on TV.

152
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,926
Okay, okay.

153
00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:55,453
Juarez, be easy.

154
00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:58,175
Your house is no more.

155
00:06:58,297 --> 00:07:00,787
Your life is no more.

156
00:07:00,909 --> 00:07:03,386
We are extreme.

157
00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:05,547
Like television.

158
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,171
Yes?

159
00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:09,151
Yes?

160
00:07:09,774 --> 00:07:11,146
- Yes!
- See, they get it.

161
00:07:11,313 --> 00:07:12,776
- I still got it.
- They get it.

162
00:07:12,894 --> 00:07:15,745
We are extreme!

163
00:07:15,991 --> 00:07:17,318
Yeah, America!

164
00:07:20,235 --> 00:07:22,280
I'll tell you what, man, the
more I look at this place,

165
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:24,517
the nicer I think it is, you know?
It's a nice place.

166
00:07:24,637 --> 00:07:26,308
No, it's a very charming,
charming place.

167
00:07:28,077 --> 00:07:30,005
- What are you doing, dude?
- What do you mean?

168
00:07:30,125 --> 00:07:31,665
- Why are you smashing stuff?
- I smashed it.

169
00:07:31,783 --> 00:07:33,169
It's important that
we get rid of anything

170
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,773
that will remind the Juarez
family of their old country.

171
00:07:35,895 --> 00:07:38,872
Bro, they're Americans now.
Americans don't hold on to the past.

172
00:07:38,996 --> 00:07:41,279
Oh, the past isn't useful.
You got to forget about it.

173
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,513
- Okay, the past isn't...
- We got to gut this entire place.

174
00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:46,230
Here's what I'm thinking now.
After we got done smashing all their

175
00:07:46,353 --> 00:07:49,589
old shit, I'm thinking we take out
this wall. You know what I mean?

176
00:07:49,713 --> 00:07:52,593
- Just let the room breathe a little bit.
- Okay, and you think that's better than just, like,

177
00:07:52,716 --> 00:07:55,742
- ripping the whole house down, just...
- Yeah, why...

178
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,507
- ...tearing the whole thing down?
- Were you planning on destroying the entire house?

179
00:07:58,629 --> 00:08:00,420
- Yeah.
- We can't demolish the entire house.

180
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:01,540
That's what they do on
Extreme Makeover.

181
00:08:01,642 --> 00:08:04,245
- They rip the whole house down.
- Do you know how to build an entire house?

182
00:08:04,524 --> 00:08:06,243
- No, I don't know how to...
- I know.

183
00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:08,297
Well, I hadn't thought that far...
we would have to build a whole house.

184
00:08:08,417 --> 00:08:10,423
- Yeah, we would have to build a new...
- I can't build a whole house.

185
00:08:10,544 --> 00:08:12,239
You know what, let's just
smash the one wall.

186
00:08:12,358 --> 00:08:14,303
And then, we'll throw a
couple layers of paint up,

187
00:08:14,423 --> 00:08:16,659
- and then we'll get our Lamborghinis and...
- Okay, good.

188
00:08:17,222 --> 00:08:19,282
Let me see if the lamp takes
a little dent out of it.

189
00:08:19,403 --> 00:08:21,550
And... here comes the pitch.

190
00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:25,578
- Oh, it didn't really dent the wall, though.
- No, but it did break the lamp,

191
00:08:25,698 --> 00:08:26,749
- and that's part of this.
- It did break the lamp.

192
00:08:26,866 --> 00:08:28,182
- I'm gonna break this.
- What's...

193
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,106
what's all the racket down here?

194
00:08:30,225 --> 00:08:32,326
Hey, some of us are trying to
do some work here, Frank.

195
00:08:32,447 --> 00:08:33,828
I don't know if you noticed.

196
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:36,633
Has anybody scored on their
vision board yet?

197
00:08:36,755 --> 00:08:38,819
How on Earth can we score on
our vision boards...

198
00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:41,399
- We just started.
- Yeah, we've been doing this for like 30 minutes.

199
00:08:41,702 --> 00:08:44,666
30 minutes? I feel like
I've been sleeping for a day.

200
00:08:44,876 --> 00:08:47,810
That broke bastard's
bed is soft as shit.

201
00:08:48,766 --> 00:08:50,829
You think they got any beer in
the icebox?

202
00:08:50,949 --> 00:08:53,813
- I could drink a swimming pool.
- Frank, you are a terrible foreman.

203
00:08:53,936 --> 00:08:55,481
You know what,
back me up on this, Charlie.

204
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,001
- You're out of here, dude.
- I think so.

205
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:59,586
- You're... you're done.
- You can't kick the foreman out.

206
00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:01,688
I'm the foreman.
I tell you what to do.

207
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,374
- That's the way it works.
- Oh, really?

208
00:09:03,493 --> 00:09:04,937
- Yeah.
- You're gonna tell me how it works?

209
00:09:05,055 --> 00:09:06,929
- Yeah.
- I watch Extreme Home Makeover.

210
00:09:07,049 --> 00:09:08,773
- I know how it works. What?
- Charlie!

211
00:09:08,892 --> 00:09:13,143
That show is just a bunch
of manipulation to get people to cry,

212
00:09:13,271 --> 00:09:16,134
and then, they trick the
viewers into buying shit.

213
00:09:16,257 --> 00:09:18,149
Buying shit?
What are you talking about?

214
00:09:18,269 --> 00:09:20,430
That show is about how awesome
Sears is!

215
00:09:20,551 --> 00:09:22,698
And how much Sears products
save people's lives!

216
00:09:22,818 --> 00:09:24,595
And it's about caring and Sears
and...

217
00:09:24,715 --> 00:09:26,152
Okay, I'm not...

218
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,401
Now, you don't see Ty Pennington
losing his cool.

219
00:09:28,521 --> 00:09:29,847
- Do you want to be like him?
- Yeah.

220
00:09:29,964 --> 00:09:32,530
All right, well, then, just breathe for me.
Feel what I'm doing.

221
00:09:32,653 --> 00:09:33,872
Yeah, dude, I just...

222
00:09:33,989 --> 00:09:36,771
I'm sorry, bro, but I get very
passionate about Sears...

223
00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:40,038
I mean,Extreme Home Make...
I mean, what... what...

224
00:09:41,173 --> 00:09:42,929
- Helping people.
- Helping people.

225
00:09:44,114 --> 00:09:45,495
Don't stop.

226
00:09:49,497 --> 00:09:51,724
I don't understand
why this is happening.

227
00:09:51,845 --> 00:09:53,790
Our visas came through, yes?

228
00:09:54,224 --> 00:09:56,833
I don't think these people are the INS.

229
00:09:56,955 --> 00:09:59,380
I think we're been kidnapped.

230
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,123
Baseball.

231
00:10:08,181 --> 00:10:09,372
Frank, what the hell are you
doing here?

232
00:10:09,489 --> 00:10:12,199
Those dick wads threw me off
my own work site.

233
00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:15,557
So, how's the old vision board coming?
You getting everything you want?

234
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,899
No, actually, we just started
the whole makeover process.

235
00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,715
Yeah, we realized the reason
why the Juarez family

236
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:23,260
hasn't achieved the American dream yet is
because they haven't envisioned it strong enough.

237
00:10:23,385 --> 00:10:25,737
Right, so we're having them do
their own visions board, so here.

238
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,789
Why don't you be a lamb and pass
out some materials.

239
00:10:27,909 --> 00:10:29,720
- What?
- Be helpful.

240
00:10:29,839 --> 00:10:32,178
Do something positive with your
life, piece of shit.

241
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:35,277
Magazines, magazines.
Here-- magazines.

242
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,315
And cut them out with this.

243
00:10:37,435 --> 00:10:39,670
- What are you looking at?
- She doesn't understand what you're saying.

244
00:10:39,791 --> 00:10:41,584
No, no, you got to say, "Corta".
That means "cut".

245
00:10:41,703 --> 00:10:42,842
Corta, corta!

246
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,258
I am gonna blast your face off.

247
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,609
- Okay, what did you...
- No one's gonna blast your face.

248
00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:56,633
No one's gonna do that.
What did you say to her?

249
00:10:56,753 --> 00:10:58,505
I said what you said to say to her,

250
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,870
and she stabbed me in the leg
with the goddamn scissors.

251
00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:02,712
- Deal with it.
- All right, all right, okay.

252
00:11:02,855 --> 00:11:07,369
Lower your cutting tool, please.

253
00:11:08,725 --> 00:11:11,017
Man is crazy with gun

254
00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,822
Right?

255
00:11:12,941 --> 00:11:16,511
And make danger for all of us.

256
00:11:16,955 --> 00:11:18,599
- Yes.
- Okay, careful, watch it.

257
00:11:20,408 --> 00:11:23,206
Don't make man hurt you.

258
00:11:23,229 --> 00:11:24,257
- Yes?
- Yes, yes.

259
00:11:24,374 --> 00:11:26,531
- That makes sense, yeah?
- They got it.

260
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:27,799
I'm really good at this.

261
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,329
Dennis, yo.
Last-minute thing.

262
00:11:33,452 --> 00:11:34,840
God, I have this brilliant idea.

263
00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:36,931
We need a project for him, dude.

264
00:11:37,051 --> 00:11:39,990
You know, we got ourselves a
little Mexican girl here, and I'm thinking...

265
00:11:40,113 --> 00:11:42,957
what does a little Mexican girl love
more than anything else in the world?

266
00:11:43,513 --> 00:11:45,183
- Tacos.
- Tacos, buddy.

267
00:11:45,302 --> 00:11:47,784
So, why not make for her a taco bed?

268
00:11:48,093 --> 00:11:49,084
- You know what I mean?
- Okay.

269
00:11:49,123 --> 00:11:51,436
She gets to, like, be in
a taco every day.

270
00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:53,708
So, okay, I got yellow sheets...
that's cheese.

271
00:11:53,798 --> 00:11:56,385
Green: guacamole.
Red: a little pillow for salsa.

272
00:11:56,478 --> 00:11:58,562
And I got these cute little
brown PJs so that she gets

273
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,343
to feel like ground meat
while she's sleeping.

274
00:12:00,432 --> 00:12:02,095
- She's the ground meat in the middle.
- She's the ground meat in the middle.

275
00:12:02,184 --> 00:12:04,025
I like that, man.
That's a good idea.

276
00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:07,133
What is this blowtorch for, man?

277
00:12:07,224 --> 00:12:08,637
Well, that's a propane torch.

278
00:12:08,725 --> 00:12:10,899
That thing's badass, man.
It's like a flamethrower.

279
00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:12,928
But what function is it
gonna serve in the home?

280
00:12:13,018 --> 00:12:14,944
It's for the renovation, man.
It's for the controlled burns.

281
00:12:15,238 --> 00:12:17,131
I don't think they do
controlled burns, man.

282
00:12:17,221 --> 00:12:19,603
Are you kidding me? Bro, they
definitely do controlled burns.

283
00:12:19,694 --> 00:12:21,431
- They do it off screen.
- Off screen.

284
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,443
How do you think they tear
down an entire wall so quickly?

285
00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:24,278
They burn it up.

286
00:12:24,364 --> 00:12:26,035
The community has got a
lot to do with it, and then,

287
00:12:26,124 --> 00:12:27,587
maybe it's for burning the
extra rubble.

288
00:12:27,675 --> 00:12:28,565
It's for tearing stuff down.

289
00:12:28,651 --> 00:12:29,699
- Are you sure we need it?
- They take stuff outside and...

290
00:12:29,786 --> 00:12:30,606
I'm not sure we...

291
00:12:30,692 --> 00:12:32,236
I'm buying it. So, go ahead
and ring that up.

292
00:12:32,325 --> 00:12:33,865
What are we looking at here?

293
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,379
That will be $3,212.11.

294
00:12:36,471 --> 00:12:38,076
We're just gonna go
ahead and put all this

295
00:12:38,165 --> 00:12:40,160
on the Extreme Home
Makeover account.

296
00:12:41,446 --> 00:12:42,458
Ring it up.

297
00:12:42,701 --> 00:12:44,494
I have no idea what you're
talking about.

298
00:12:45,092 --> 00:12:45,914
Really?

299
00:12:46,212 --> 00:12:47,778
We're performing an extreme
home makeover.

300
00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,520
So, do you not have
a button for that?

301
00:12:49,608 --> 00:12:51,077
We're helping out
a family in need, okay?

302
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:52,151
We're gonna do some good deeds.

303
00:12:52,237 --> 00:12:53,634
You know, we got
a vision board thing going.

304
00:12:53,722 --> 00:12:55,037
This is a legitimate
operation, okay?

305
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,760
This is the real deal.
I got a whole taco bed.

306
00:12:56,849 --> 00:13:00,395
You know what... if you just give us
the stuff, we'll be on our way.

307
00:13:00,795 --> 00:13:03,282
I'm sorry, we don't just
give stuff away.

308
00:13:04,819 --> 00:13:07,144
I don't know why
you're breaking my balls here.

309
00:13:07,235 --> 00:13:09,312
Sears does this, okay?
Sears gives people stuff.

310
00:13:09,402 --> 00:13:11,096
Sears doesn't get
anything out of it.

311
00:13:11,185 --> 00:13:12,553
Sears doesn't come in and start...

312
00:13:12,641 --> 00:13:13,937
Look, we don't have
any money, okay?

313
00:13:14,025 --> 00:13:14,898
What are we supposed to do here?

314
00:13:14,984 --> 00:13:16,435
I don't know what
to tell you.

315
00:13:16,524 --> 00:13:19,891
If you don't have a bad credit history,
you can open up a store credit card.

316
00:13:21,213 --> 00:13:22,810
Credit card, huh?

317
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,909
All right, just go ahead and
sign right there, and we're all set.

318
00:13:28,002 --> 00:13:28,927
Now, this is smart.

319
00:13:29,014 --> 00:13:31,733
The first step to becoming an
American... get a credit card.

320
00:13:31,825 --> 00:13:33,911
We need this guy to build up
copious amounts of debt.

321
00:13:34,002 --> 00:13:35,419
That is the best way for him to
build up his credit.

322
00:13:35,507 --> 00:13:37,293
- We're doing him a favor.
- We're doing him a huge favor.

323
00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:38,635
And do you realize how
extreme this is?

324
00:13:38,723 --> 00:13:41,128
To go from no debt to good
old-fashioned American debt?

325
00:13:41,219 --> 00:13:42,085
That's the way to do it.

326
00:13:42,171 --> 00:13:44,582
Plus, I've been envisioning
someone else paying

327
00:13:44,674 --> 00:13:45,883
for thing the entire time.

328
00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:48,339
I'm also envisioning him
unloading all the shit into the car.

329
00:13:48,431 --> 00:13:49,535
Well, that's a great vision.

330
00:13:49,622 --> 00:13:51,779
Guys, no can do.
We're on a very tight schedule.

331
00:13:51,869 --> 00:13:54,006
By the way, does anyone know
why the hell Frank

332
00:13:54,097 --> 00:13:55,475
has been pointing
a camera at us?

333
00:13:55,563 --> 00:13:58,496
I'll tell you why. Because
I'm tired of this secret bullshit.

334
00:13:58,589 --> 00:14:00,772
All it got me was
a stab wound in the leg.

335
00:14:00,863 --> 00:14:02,848
So, I'm gonna record
everything you do.

336
00:14:02,938 --> 00:14:05,614
- Why?
- Because I know you're gonna fail.

337
00:14:05,706 --> 00:14:07,184
Then, I can watch it over and
over again.

338
00:14:07,272 --> 00:14:07,831
- That's ridiculous.
- Whatever, Frank.

339
00:14:08,519 --> 00:14:09,857
You know, I'm glad you're
getting all this on tape because

340
00:14:09,944 --> 00:14:12,432
then we'll have proof of how
amazingly generous we're being today.

341
00:14:12,524 --> 00:14:13,981
You're going to prove that
the secret is real.

342
00:14:14,069 --> 00:14:16,794
Gentlemen, we are all done here,
so I'm gonna roll 'cause we got to...

343
00:14:16,887 --> 00:14:18,605
- Thank you very much.
- Let's go ahead and let's do this.

344
00:14:18,694 --> 00:14:19,992
- Mostgracias.
- Good luck.

345
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,582
All right, you got
the store card now.

346
00:14:21,670 --> 00:14:23,101
Let's go ahead and ring that up.

347
00:14:23,518 --> 00:14:26,147
Bro, I'm not sure I have
the right look here.

348
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,260
No, you do, man.

349
00:14:27,346 --> 00:14:29,929
You just got to start thinking of the
tool belt as an extension of yourself.

350
00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:31,581
It needs to reflect you
as an individual.

351
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,196
Do you feel that?

352
00:14:32,281 --> 00:14:33,607
- Is that all that it is?
- That's all it is.

353
00:14:33,695 --> 00:14:34,771
All right, let me ask you a
question, then.

354
00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:36,716
How come you have that
awesome fray in your shorts?

355
00:14:36,805 --> 00:14:38,355
I don't have that.

356
00:14:38,572 --> 00:14:41,575
That, sir, is becauseyou
purchased blue jean shorts

357
00:14:41,669 --> 00:14:43,723
whereas I purchased
blue jeans and cut 'em.

358
00:14:43,918 --> 00:14:44,681
Thus, the fray.

359
00:14:44,987 --> 00:14:47,167
It's a more authentic look.
I think that's what you're feeling.

360
00:14:47,258 --> 00:14:48,249
Why did you cut them so high?

361
00:14:48,335 --> 00:14:49,353
Way higher than mine.

362
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:50,449
I thought you might ask that.

363
00:14:50,536 --> 00:14:52,397
See, it limits restriction of
leg movement.

364
00:14:52,486 --> 00:14:54,528
You're going to get more work done
'cause you got more leg movement.

365
00:14:54,619 --> 00:14:55,359
Well, are you sure about that?

366
00:14:55,444 --> 00:14:56,605
Let me do a little
demonstration on you.

367
00:14:56,693 --> 00:14:57,508
Take the tool belt
off for a second.

368
00:14:57,594 --> 00:14:59,320
Let me, let me, let me just
demonstrate something.

369
00:14:59,409 --> 00:14:59,995
Let's get it down.

370
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:00,878
Take a wide stance.

371
00:15:00,964 --> 00:15:03,154
Take the widest stance that you possibly
can and let me see what that looks like.

372
00:15:03,245 --> 00:15:03,831
Leg movement.

373
00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:05,582
- This is, uh...
- Go as wide as you can.

374
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:07,537
If I'm going wide and I'm
being honest with you...

375
00:15:07,855 --> 00:15:09,499
I'm maxing out about here.

376
00:15:09,588 --> 00:15:12,992
That's not bad...
but check this out.

377
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:15,683
Go, go, go.

378
00:15:17,572 --> 00:15:18,651
Any more?

379
00:15:18,738 --> 00:15:20,323
That's it, but that's pretty
wide, right?

380
00:15:20,412 --> 00:15:21,450
- That is good, you know...
- Looks good, right?

381
00:15:21,537 --> 00:15:23,358
And you're not getting
any high ride.

382
00:15:23,447 --> 00:15:24,598
- I'm getting a high ride.
- That's a better...

383
00:15:24,685 --> 00:15:27,771
But the shorts aren't preventing me
from doing what I need to do.

384
00:15:27,865 --> 00:15:28,885
And that's the shorts.

385
00:15:28,972 --> 00:15:31,050
That's exactly right, man,
and see, your shorts.

386
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:31,925
They're holding you back, man.

387
00:15:32,011 --> 00:15:34,841
That and your hips, but I got to
tell you, the shorts aren't helping.

388
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,175
This, this is really all good shit.

389
00:15:37,266 --> 00:15:39,133
This is like gold.

390
00:15:39,223 --> 00:15:40,238
So what are you going
to do next?

391
00:15:40,324 --> 00:15:41,732
- You are catching all this, right?
- I got everything.

392
00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,463
This is what we're gonna do next.
Grab me that propane torch.

393
00:15:43,552 --> 00:15:45,184
- I'm gonna burn the wall.
- You know what?

394
00:15:45,273 --> 00:15:47,578
Let's go at it with the wrecking
ball for a little while.

395
00:15:47,669 --> 00:15:49,934
It'd be more extreme and kind
of awesome.

396
00:15:50,025 --> 00:15:51,352
Okay, all right, let's do
that, then.

397
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,106
All right, you do the wrecking
ball thing... Check this out.

398
00:15:53,195 --> 00:15:54,398
I'm gonna do a little
introduction thing,

399
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:56,398
- and then you do the wrecking ball.
- Do you want to wear the belt?

400
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:57,813
All right, I'm gonna be the
only one wearing the belt?

401
00:15:57,901 --> 00:15:58,852
Just jeans and no shirt.

402
00:15:58,938 --> 00:16:01,316
Wait, can I see the
stance one more time?

403
00:16:04,199 --> 00:16:05,710
That... I can go lower.

404
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,024
Bro, that is bad ass.

405
00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:12,125
Yours wedged in, too?

406
00:16:12,211 --> 00:16:13,552
Mine's completely wedged in there.

407
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,612
We can't even get anything
past the surface of this thing.

408
00:16:15,702 --> 00:16:18,620
There's, like, a hard surface
past the thin surface.

409
00:16:18,713 --> 00:16:20,055
Concrete or brick
or something...

410
00:16:20,143 --> 00:16:22,668
I was envisioning this being a lot
easier than it's turning out to be.

411
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,896
- Abso...
- Use the blowtorch.

412
00:16:25,622 --> 00:16:26,701
Great, it's time.

413
00:16:26,788 --> 00:16:27,917
Hang on a second.

414
00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:29,433
- Let me grab the flamethrower.
- Hold on a second, time out.

415
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,611
Wait, I think I know
what the problem is.

416
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,448
Look, I'm the one who
watches Home Makeover.

417
00:16:33,538 --> 00:16:34,747
I think I know what
we're not doing right here.

418
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:35,260
What?

419
00:16:35,345 --> 00:16:36,707
We haven't brought the
neighborhood in yet.

420
00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,389
Absolutely great idea.
Bring the neighbors in.

421
00:16:39,728 --> 00:16:41,430
Oh, my neighbors are great.

422
00:17:02,191 --> 00:17:04,133
So did the neighborhood rob us?

423
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,824
Did the neighborhood rob us ?

424
00:17:05,912 --> 00:17:07,520
And they took
my goddamn tool belt.

425
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:08,772
I could not have anticipated...

426
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:10,517
Look into the camera
and cry a little.

427
00:17:10,606 --> 00:17:12,516
You have been in our face
with that camera, man.

428
00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:13,733
You know what,
man, you know what?

429
00:17:13,820 --> 00:17:15,792
Just... get me the flamethrower.

430
00:17:15,882 --> 00:17:18,288
I'm so sick of this wall,
I want to burn it up now.

431
00:17:18,379 --> 00:17:19,377
Okay, it's time.

432
00:17:19,464 --> 00:17:21,329
There's also a fire
extinguisher, too.

433
00:17:21,419 --> 00:17:21,846
Great.

434
00:17:21,930 --> 00:17:23,737
- I think we should use this, man.
- I think we should, too.

435
00:17:23,827 --> 00:17:25,400
So here's how this is going
to go down.

436
00:17:25,489 --> 00:17:27,308
- I will light a fire on the wall.
- On the wall.

437
00:17:27,397 --> 00:17:28,745
Have that extinguisher ready,
'cause

438
00:17:28,833 --> 00:17:31,802
I don't want the fire to spread
past the parameters of this wall.

439
00:17:31,895 --> 00:17:33,996
I will create a parameter
with the fire extinguisher.

440
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:34,968
It's the only safe way
to do this, okay?

441
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,040
It'll be perfectly safe.

442
00:17:36,127 --> 00:17:37,851
Then, once the wall's all
weakened from the burned-up fires,

443
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,982
then we're going to kick
it to pieces, smash it to bits,

444
00:17:40,072 --> 00:17:41,955
and take the rubble outside and
probably burn that, too.

445
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:43,080
And then I'll put it out with this.

446
00:17:43,166 --> 00:17:44,818
Perfect, and then
I'll get started on my taco bed.

447
00:17:44,907 --> 00:17:45,629
That sounds good.

448
00:17:46,445 --> 00:17:49,110
Before you do that, why
don't you open that window

449
00:17:49,203 --> 00:17:51,492
over there and get
a nice backdraft?

450
00:17:52,813 --> 00:17:54,328
Now he wants
to start helping us.

451
00:17:54,416 --> 00:17:56,399
That's the first sensible
thing you've said all day, Frank.

452
00:17:56,489 --> 00:17:57,709
It's extreme, just like we are.

453
00:17:58,408 --> 00:17:59,687
Go crank open a window.

454
00:17:59,775 --> 00:18:02,112
Let's get a backdraft going.
Frank, you ready?

455
00:18:02,508 --> 00:18:06,383
I've never been ready for
anything more in my entire life.

456
00:18:06,829 --> 00:18:08,193
Well, all right.

457
00:18:08,281 --> 00:18:09,607
Let's do this.

458
00:18:13,446 --> 00:18:17,028
I think we have successfully
pulled off one extreme makeover.

459
00:18:17,365 --> 00:18:19,291
Yeah, I love their eyes.

460
00:18:19,887 --> 00:18:23,409
Now, while we wait, I was
thinking we expose them to some

461
00:18:23,504 --> 00:18:25,206
good old-fashioned American cinema.

462
00:18:25,295 --> 00:18:26,515
Apocalypto.

463
00:18:26,602 --> 00:18:28,953
They can learn about how their
ancestors used to be savages

464
00:18:29,045 --> 00:18:32,367
until Mel Gibson and the Catholics
came in and saved everybody.

465
00:18:34,135 --> 00:18:35,920
Hey, you're just in time.

466
00:18:36,009 --> 00:18:39,918
Why don't you point that video camera
at the new and improved Juarez family?

467
00:18:41,061 --> 00:18:43,246
They look freaky as shit.

468
00:18:43,337 --> 00:18:45,414
Wait till you get a load of
their ancestors.

469
00:18:45,504 --> 00:18:47,769
Pop a squat, bro, 'cause we're
going to watch a sweet-ass flick.

470
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,632
I got something better to do.

471
00:18:49,722 --> 00:18:51,893
Bag 'em and bring 'em with us.
Come on.

472
00:18:51,983 --> 00:18:53,062
Yes, let's go.
In fact,

473
00:18:53,149 --> 00:18:56,319
bag yourselves, too,
because I want this to be a surprise.

474
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,690
Come on, right this way.

475
00:19:00,779 --> 00:19:02,176
Keep walking straight...

476
00:19:02,264 --> 00:19:04,415
Goddamn, it's hard to breathe
in these bags.

477
00:19:04,823 --> 00:19:06,526
Okay, hold it right here.

478
00:19:06,615 --> 00:19:08,211
All right, now, excuse me.

479
00:19:08,617 --> 00:19:10,178
Please come over here,
the family.

480
00:19:10,266 --> 00:19:11,473
I want you on this side.

481
00:19:11,561 --> 00:19:13,229
My head is sweating like shit.

482
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:14,692
Take the bags off.

483
00:19:17,347 --> 00:19:19,754
You got, you got a bus,
just like in the show.

484
00:19:19,846 --> 00:19:21,439
It's all about the reveal.

485
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:22,328
Ready?

486
00:19:22,414 --> 00:19:25,495
One... two... three !

487
00:19:25,589 --> 00:19:27,200
Move that bus!

488
00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:50,528
Unbelievable.

489
00:19:51,036 --> 00:19:54,738
I cannot believe the judge made me
give my mansion to the Juarez family.

490
00:19:55,558 --> 00:19:57,578
I can't believe their name
isn't Juarez.

491
00:19:57,668 --> 00:19:59,063
Was anyone else surprised by that?

492
00:19:59,151 --> 00:19:59,973
Shocker.

493
00:20:00,059 --> 00:20:01,961
Well, you know, it's a, it's
a broken system we got here.

494
00:20:02,310 --> 00:20:04,553
But at least we managed to
avoid arson charges, right?

495
00:20:04,644 --> 00:20:05,676
That's good, yeah.

496
00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,983
Frank, I guess you're right.
The secret's bullshit, huh?

497
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:11,280
You try to help people and
you just wind up getting screwed.