1 00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:02,745 How are we supposed to 2 00:00:02,746 --> 00:00:05,615 scale back our energy costs when you're filling this generator with gasoline? 3 00:00:05,616 --> 00:00:09,025 Yeah, gross. Since when did you start running the bar on a gas generator? 4 00:00:09,026 --> 00:00:11,737 - About a week ago. I've been doing it for about a week. - Why would you do that? 5 00:00:11,738 --> 00:00:14,409 Well, because, you know, electricity's so expensive, man. 6 00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:16,580 So I figured let's get a generator and, you know, run the bar on it. 7 00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:19,574 Are you kidding me? Gasoline's, like, a thousand times more expensive than electricity. 8 00:00:19,575 --> 00:00:22,433 And you know what, Charlie? You shouldn't be making these decisions anyway, okay? 9 00:00:22,434 --> 00:00:24,081 - You're not the decision-making type. - Exactly. 10 00:00:24,082 --> 00:00:27,285 As the brains of this organization, I should've made this decision. 11 00:00:27,568 --> 00:00:32,018 - I'm sorry but when did you become the brains? - I'm sorry I've always been the brains. 12 00:00:32,207 --> 00:00:35,324 What are your talking about? I thought I was the brains. What the hell am I? 13 00:00:35,325 --> 00:00:37,295 - You're the looks. - Hey of course I'm the looks, 14 00:00:37,325 --> 00:00:39,295 but I was seeing myself as the brains and the looks. 15 00:00:39,296 --> 00:00:41,361 No, you're the looks, I'm the brains, Charlie's the wild card. 16 00:00:41,362 --> 00:00:43,825 Oh! That's awesome. 17 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:47,167 Yeah! Yeah, that's the classic setup. You know this? No? 18 00:00:47,168 --> 00:00:50,881 Look, every great crew in history has followed that basic dynamic, right? 19 00:00:50,882 --> 00:00:53,597 Looks, brains, wild card. Think about it. 20 00:00:53,598 --> 00:00:55,043 The A-Team did it. 21 00:00:55,313 --> 00:00:57,078 Scooby Doo did it. 22 00:00:57,079 --> 00:00:59,035 - The Ghost busters did it. - Oh, shit! 23 00:00:59,036 --> 00:01:00,827 - Yes! Right? - Yeah. 24 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,744 Our problem is that we don't stick to that basic format, 25 00:01:03,745 --> 00:01:04,921 and it gets us into trouble. 26 00:01:04,922 --> 00:01:07,685 So what you're saying is that by breaking from that format, 27 00:01:07,696 --> 00:01:11,408 we're actually limiting our ability to be as successful as those organizations. 28 00:01:11,409 --> 00:01:14,010 - Totally right, dude. - Great. On to the matter at hand. 29 00:01:14,011 --> 00:01:17,526 We're getting plowed in the ass by the oil companies and the gas 30 00:01:17,527 --> 00:01:20,907 companies with their ten-gallon hats and their rotten, ass-plowing hearts. 31 00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:23,984 So, as the brains of this organization, 32 00:01:23,985 --> 00:01:25,833 - I came up with a plan - Lay it on us, bud. 33 00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:28,075 It involves pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple 34 00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:30,363 of asses and doing a little plowing of our own. 35 00:01:30,497 --> 00:01:31,850 Pow! 36 00:01:34,713 --> 00:01:36,276 - Not gay sex. - Okay. 37 00:01:36,277 --> 00:01:38,182 Okay, 'cause that's what it sounded like. What did you mean? 38 00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:40,098 - We're going to solve the gas crisis. - Oh, good. 39 00:01:44,317 --> 00:01:49,213 Its always sunny in philadelphia 402 "The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis" 40 00:01:49,317 --> 00:02:03,213 Synchro : Flolo 41 00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:16,030 Charlie, the plan is simple, okay? 42 00:02:16,031 --> 00:02:17,288 - Is it? - Yes. 43 00:02:17,289 --> 00:02:19,029 We go to a bank, we talk to a loan officer. 44 00:02:19,030 --> 00:02:22,324 We get a hefty loan to buy a bunch of gasoline. 45 00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:25,304 We take that gasoline, we store it in the basement, we wait a few months. 46 00:02:25,305 --> 00:02:28,264 When the gas prices skyrocket, we sell it, make a huge profit. 47 00:02:28,265 --> 00:02:30,381 Yeah, man, if the guy doesn't seem like he's going for it, 48 00:02:30,382 --> 00:02:32,982 I'll show him this, uh, big-breasted women chart... 49 00:02:33,011 --> 00:02:34,449 - and that'll win him over. - Yeah, I'm sure it will. 50 00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:37,952 I mean, 'cause that's great and the plan's actually pretty great. 51 00:02:38,196 --> 00:02:41,933 The problem I'm having with it is that I don't have anything to do. 52 00:02:41,977 --> 00:02:44,427 No, you do have something to do. You're the wild card. 53 00:02:44,428 --> 00:02:46,363 You sit there looking crazy and capable of anything. 54 00:02:46,364 --> 00:02:47,114 Yeah. 55 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:49,808 Yeah, you set the tone for the whole meeting. 56 00:02:49,809 --> 00:02:53,508 So if I'm, like, there while you guys are talking and I'm just, like, like... 57 00:02:56,268 --> 00:02:57,551 That's terrible. 58 00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,479 That was my... that was my wild card face, all right... 59 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,840 What message are you trying to send with that? 60 00:03:00,841 --> 00:03:03,601 Really? Was that not a good one? Well, so what if it's more like, like... 61 00:03:05,944 --> 00:03:08,338 And you want him to think that you're going to take a dump or...? 62 00:03:08,339 --> 00:03:09,983 - Seriously, that's what that looks like? - I just don't know what 63 00:03:09,984 --> 00:03:12,453 - message you're trying to... - Oh, man, you're forcing it. 64 00:03:12,454 --> 00:03:14,070 - Oh, my God. You know what? - Yeah, you're really forcing it. 65 00:03:14,071 --> 00:03:15,844 I'd better look in a mirror 'cause I don't know what I'm 66 00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:17,247 doing and what it looks like feel like two different things. 67 00:03:17,248 --> 00:03:19,441 The Brains, I'm going to supervise 'cause there is 68 00:03:19,442 --> 00:03:21,002 - no way he should be making this decision. - Well, walk me through it, dude, 69 00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:24,735 - 'cause I just don't see what you're talking about. - It's not a rape van. It's a spy van. 70 00:03:24,736 --> 00:03:26,525 It looks very much like a rape van to me but whatever. 71 00:03:26,526 --> 00:03:29,115 - Dennis, you gotta look at this. - What is this? 72 00:03:29,116 --> 00:03:31,881 Bruce Mathis is about to give away all of Mom's money. 73 00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:33,430 What are you talking about? 74 00:03:33,431 --> 00:03:35,901 In two days, some Muslim Cultural Center is about to get 75 00:03:35,902 --> 00:03:38,235 a giant check made out of our cash, and we've got to get that back. 76 00:03:38,236 --> 00:03:41,991 Listen, this jamoke is giving our money to terrorists, 77 00:03:41,992 --> 00:03:44,025 and we've got to prove it. 78 00:03:44,026 --> 00:03:46,912 Dee, Mom gave all of our money to Bruce. 79 00:03:46,913 --> 00:03:48,449 You were never going to get it anyway. 80 00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:50,713 Oh, no-no-no, I was. See, I had a plan. 81 00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:54,486 I was going to eliminate everybody else and be the only surviving heir, so... help. 82 00:03:54,487 --> 00:03:57,641 So when you say "eliminate," you mean you were going to kill me? 83 00:03:57,642 --> 00:04:00,850 I don't know. No, yes, maybe I was going to; 84 00:04:00,851 --> 00:04:04,227 maybe I wasn't. The point is moot now. So can you please help me out here? 85 00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:05,980 So you were planning on killing me? 86 00:04:05,981 --> 00:04:09,344 Stop arguing. Are you going to help us out? We got no time here. 87 00:04:09,345 --> 00:04:10,529 Pass. 88 00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:12,433 - "Pass"? - Yeah, pass. 89 00:04:12,434 --> 00:04:14,575 - Super-pass, berpass... - How do you super-pass on something like this... 90 00:04:14,576 --> 00:04:17,321 I pass! I pass! Because you were planning on killing me. 91 00:04:17,322 --> 00:04:19,829 Oh, my God, I feel like you're really focused on one 92 00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:21,544 tiny part of what I'm trying to talk about here. 93 00:04:21,545 --> 00:04:24,166 - It's a very big part of your... - It's just a couple of words. 94 00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:26,120 - Go away. I'm trying to draw breasts and pretty women. - Focus on the words "money" 95 00:04:26,121 --> 00:04:28,585 and "Bruce" and "me" and "help." 96 00:04:28,776 --> 00:04:33,178 All right, and what is the reason you're requesting a loan today? 97 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,080 Wait for it... 98 00:04:36,086 --> 00:04:38,143 - Gasoline. - Excuse me. 99 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,485 - Don't rush me. - Don't rush him. 100 00:04:39,486 --> 00:04:41,652 Thank you, I feel rushed. Look, here's the plan. 101 00:04:41,653 --> 00:04:45,441 You give us a shitload of money. We buy a shitload of gasoline. 102 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:49,695 We wait 12 months, we sell the gasoline and make a shitload of profit. 103 00:04:49,696 --> 00:04:53,168 Gentlemen, we tend to give loans to businesses, not... 104 00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:55,594 - She's not getting it. Get the graph. - Oh, yeah, the graph. 105 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:58,056 - We have a graph. - Yeah, check this out. 106 00:04:58,093 --> 00:05:00,663 Now these are the gas prices last year. 107 00:05:00,664 --> 00:05:03,450 These are the gas prices this year. 108 00:05:03,451 --> 00:05:06,806 And this is what the gas prices will be. 109 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,623 And what are those? 110 00:05:08,624 --> 00:05:11,225 These are gorgeous women with heaving breasts. 111 00:05:11,226 --> 00:05:13,130 Yeah. Why? 112 00:05:14,122 --> 00:05:17,680 Well, to be perfectly honest, we sort of thought we'd 113 00:05:17,681 --> 00:05:20,579 - be speaking to a man today, so... - Yeah, is there any way that 114 00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:23,746 we can talk to your boss because I think he would understand more better? 115 00:05:23,747 --> 00:05:25,756 My boss is a woman. 116 00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:29,084 - Really? - Your boss is a woman? 117 00:05:29,085 --> 00:05:30,687 Now, this is a strange bank. 118 00:05:30,688 --> 00:05:33,447 Okay, well, I am definitely rejecting your request for 119 00:05:33,448 --> 00:05:37,570 $300,000 to buy... gasoline. 120 00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:41,236 - Dennis, you're on. - Yeah. 121 00:05:41,237 --> 00:05:44,064 You know... I just had a crazy thought. 122 00:05:44,193 --> 00:05:50,289 How's about I take you in the back and "change" your mind? 123 00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:53,939 Or how about we all go in the back and have great sex? 124 00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:56,403 - What are you doing, hmm? - I'm pulling a wild card here, man, so... 125 00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:58,203 No, dude, just let Dennis do his thing, okay? 126 00:05:58,204 --> 00:06:00,917 I can be very sensual with a woman, all right? You will enjoy it. 127 00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:02,970 Now is not the right time to pull the wild card, okay? 128 00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,491 Let me do my thing. Let me do the seducing. 129 00:06:04,492 --> 00:06:06,962 - Let Dennis bang her so we can get our loan. - Well, here's a scenario. 130 00:06:06,963 --> 00:06:09,115 What if she wanted to bang me or you for that matter? 131 00:06:09,116 --> 00:06:10,762 You can't pull the wild card when I already have my shirt 132 00:06:10,763 --> 00:06:12,051 off, that should be a rule. Can that be a rule? 133 00:06:12,052 --> 00:06:14,189 - Yes, that's a rule. - Oh, yeah?! 134 00:06:14,283 --> 00:06:16,163 Oh, yeah?! Back off! 135 00:06:16,164 --> 00:06:19,172 - Come on, man, let me do it. This is my job! - Wild card, baby! 136 00:06:19,173 --> 00:06:21,292 - Dude, I feel like I can do it then, too. - What are you doing?! 137 00:06:21,293 --> 00:06:23,986 - Goddamn it, look, okay, so... - Why don't you decide? 138 00:06:23,987 --> 00:06:25,157 - Yeah. - Which one of us do you want 139 00:06:25,158 --> 00:06:27,043 to take you in the back and bang you? 140 00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:43,409 My intel tells me that Bruce moved into this crappy apartment complex. 141 00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:45,860 - Where'd you get your intel? - I water boarded some guy. 142 00:06:45,861 --> 00:06:48,341 - Told me everything. - You tortured somebody? 143 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:51,369 Oh, yeah. Big time. What do you see? 144 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:54,431 I can't see shit. Why would you tint the inside of the windows? 145 00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:57,406 - I don't want anybody to see in. - We can't see out, Frank! 146 00:06:58,235 --> 00:07:00,841 - I might've overdone it a little bit. - You think so? 147 00:07:01,883 --> 00:07:03,580 - That's Bruce! - This guy? 148 00:07:03,581 --> 00:07:05,095 That's the guy, walking there! Walking there! 149 00:07:05,096 --> 00:07:07,074 - Start the car. Let's go! Let's follow him! - Are you sure that's him? 150 00:07:07,075 --> 00:07:08,681 Gonna take some pictures. 151 00:07:10,316 --> 00:07:11,873 I got it working. 152 00:07:11,874 --> 00:07:13,373 - Go! Go! - All right, there's... 153 00:07:13,374 --> 00:07:15,397 - the gas pedal's stuck or something. - Well, wobble it. 154 00:07:15,398 --> 00:07:17,451 - "Wobble it"? - Yeah, wobble it back and forth. 155 00:07:17,452 --> 00:07:20,204 - Wiggle it. Wiggle it. That's it. That's it. - All right. 156 00:07:21,171 --> 00:07:23,839 - Now, hit it. Oh, God... - What are you trying to do? 157 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,433 Give me whiplash? You're blinding me. Will you calm down? Hold on. 158 00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:28,958 Son of a bitch! 159 00:07:30,636 --> 00:07:32,198 Hey, assholes. 160 00:07:35,835 --> 00:07:38,441 Hey, what the hell was that about?! 161 00:07:42,902 --> 00:07:45,738 I can't believe Dee keeps her life savings in her sock drawer. 162 00:07:45,739 --> 00:07:47,186 That's a dumb place to hide it. 163 00:07:47,187 --> 00:07:48,878 She's an investor now. She'll thank us later. 164 00:07:48,879 --> 00:07:51,027 You know what, guys? I'm sorry. I got to bring something up. 165 00:07:51,028 --> 00:07:53,485 Can I bring something up? 'Cause if it don't, it's going to stew up inside me. 166 00:07:53,486 --> 00:07:55,329 - It's going to drive me crazy. - What's up, man? 167 00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,964 I kind of can't believe that you guys took your shirts off back there, man. 168 00:07:58,965 --> 00:08:01,478 I mean, I feel like you really sold me down the river. 169 00:08:01,479 --> 00:08:03,868 The Ghostbusters would never do something like that to each other. 170 00:08:03,869 --> 00:08:06,100 - I can't believe you guys did it, man. - What are you doing? 171 00:08:06,101 --> 00:08:07,776 No trash cans, only cars. 172 00:08:07,777 --> 00:08:10,590 Whoa, cool your jets, guy. We paid for this gas. 173 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,911 It's going to be a while, so... 174 00:08:12,912 --> 00:08:15,734 Stop now. You can't do this. 175 00:08:15,735 --> 00:08:17,090 - Come on, man. - Only cars. 176 00:08:17,091 --> 00:08:19,874 Oh, geez. All right, Wild Card, do your thing. 177 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:22,913 So help me God, I'll blow this place to kingdom come. 178 00:08:22,914 --> 00:08:25,540 - Not that, not that. Jesus Christ, Charlie. - Come on, man. 179 00:08:25,541 --> 00:08:28,998 No, we just got to figure out a way to get this gas back to 180 00:08:28,999 --> 00:08:32,132 - the bar without using the barrels. - Well, how the hell we gonna do that? 181 00:08:40,446 --> 00:08:43,196 All right, barrel number six is done, dudes. 182 00:08:43,197 --> 00:08:46,279 - This doesn't seem to be the best... - No. Guys, this is not working, okay? 183 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,670 We're actually losing money driving back and forth from that 184 00:08:48,671 --> 00:08:50,673 - gas station all day long. - You're burning up our product. 185 00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:53,487 Plus I have swallowed a good deal of it. It's just a damn waste. 186 00:08:53,488 --> 00:08:56,606 Yeah, and gas has gone up seven cents since this morning. 187 00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:59,095 He puts a new thing on the sign every time we pull in there. 188 00:08:59,096 --> 00:09:01,585 - We're screwing ourselves here, guys. - Hold on, let's not freak out. 189 00:09:01,586 --> 00:09:03,948 - Let's not freak out. - The plan's not working though, man. 190 00:09:03,949 --> 00:09:06,166 We just need to adjust our business model to meet the needs 191 00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:09,431 - of a changing market place. That's all. - That's money talk. Let's talk money. 192 00:09:09,432 --> 00:09:11,151 We got to make some money in the short term. 193 00:09:11,152 --> 00:09:13,050 Well, how the hell are we going to do that? 194 00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:14,756 I got a plan. 195 00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:19,001 - We'd like to return some gas, please. - Yeah. Don't worry, bro, got receipts. 196 00:09:19,002 --> 00:09:20,908 I can't do that. 197 00:09:20,909 --> 00:09:23,138 You can't do it or you won't do it? 198 00:09:23,686 --> 00:09:25,050 Both. 199 00:09:25,051 --> 00:09:26,588 Not yet, buddy. 200 00:09:26,610 --> 00:09:30,323 Okay, bro, want to play hard ball, fine. 201 00:09:30,324 --> 00:09:33,320 You're about to experience the hard knocks of a free market, bitch. 202 00:09:33,378 --> 00:09:35,152 Get ready to feel it where it hurts. 203 00:09:35,181 --> 00:09:38,868 - Your dick. - No, no, not his dick. His wallet. 204 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,824 - Your wallet. - Yep. 205 00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,780 Here we are. This is it. 206 00:09:49,815 --> 00:09:52,859 - Are you sure this is the place? - Yes, yes, yes, my intel says so. 207 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:55,481 Okay, take these box cutters, put them in his bedroom. 208 00:09:55,482 --> 00:09:57,829 Take this fertilizer, toss it in the closet. 209 00:09:58,386 --> 00:10:00,420 What the hell are we doing that for? 210 00:10:00,421 --> 00:10:02,356 'Cause when I call the cops on him, they'll come and find 211 00:10:02,357 --> 00:10:05,277 all this bomb-making shit and they'll arrest his money-stealing ass. 212 00:10:05,385 --> 00:10:07,647 We don't want to call the cops. 213 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:10,344 They'll find the bug I'm going to plant. 214 00:10:10,358 --> 00:10:12,130 That's a baby monitor, Frank. 215 00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:14,261 You're planting a baby monitor? 216 00:10:14,262 --> 00:10:15,471 Yeah? 217 00:10:15,472 --> 00:10:18,622 A lot of people are bugging their babies these days. 218 00:10:18,623 --> 00:10:20,715 I guess babies can't be trusted. 219 00:10:20,716 --> 00:10:23,023 What exactly is it you're expecting to find here? 220 00:10:23,024 --> 00:10:25,221 - Lotta shady shit. - Like what? 221 00:10:25,948 --> 00:10:29,108 Like maybe Bruce is banging dudes. 222 00:10:29,109 --> 00:10:31,235 Why would that be shady? 223 00:10:31,289 --> 00:10:33,514 - Maybe the dudes are babies. - What?! 224 00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:35,437 Bruce is not banging any baby dudes. 225 00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:37,390 Look, we're going back to the original plan, okay? 226 00:10:37,391 --> 00:10:38,804 We're going to put the frame on him. 227 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,042 We're going to be heroes among the community and I'm going to 228 00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:42,726 get all of my money back as a reward. 229 00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:44,481 - All my money. - Whatever. 230 00:10:44,482 --> 00:10:46,873 It was probably going to end up mine eventually, so... 231 00:10:46,874 --> 00:10:50,619 Okay, there's something I want to talk to you about. 232 00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:56,031 Were you planning on offing me and then offing Dennis also? 233 00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:57,676 Frank, we are in the middle of something. 234 00:10:57,677 --> 00:10:59,569 I don't have time to chitchat with you about stuff. 235 00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:00,924 Were you planning on offing me? 236 00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:03,393 - I didn't say that. - You didn't deny it either. 237 00:11:03,647 --> 00:11:05,188 Deny it? 238 00:11:05,189 --> 00:11:08,733 Do I have to deny... something so craz... 239 00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,037 Give me the baby monitor. I'll hide it for you. 240 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,193 Capitalism at work. 241 00:11:19,236 --> 00:11:20,676 This ought to show the son of a bitch. 242 00:11:20,677 --> 00:11:22,496 All right, buddy, now explain to me how exactly we're going to 243 00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:24,857 - calculate the totals. - Oh, it's easy, dude. 244 00:11:24,922 --> 00:11:27,570 You pour gas into the car using one of these funnels, right? 245 00:11:27,571 --> 00:11:29,848 And I count how much gas is going into the car. 246 00:11:29,849 --> 00:11:31,887 All right, let me just stop you right there. 247 00:11:31,888 --> 00:11:35,331 How exactly are you planning on counting a liquid? 248 00:11:35,332 --> 00:11:38,175 - I know how to count, dude. - Okay, you do it, you do it, 249 00:11:38,176 --> 00:11:40,757 - Mac, because I can't speak to him. - Free Market 101, you got to 250 00:11:40,758 --> 00:11:42,988 have customers to have a working business, right? 251 00:11:42,989 --> 00:11:44,773 - So we've got to attract attention. - Yeah. 252 00:11:44,774 --> 00:11:47,784 I, for one, suggest me blowing fireballs to get that attention. 253 00:11:47,785 --> 00:11:48,854 Fireballs? 254 00:11:48,855 --> 00:11:51,024 - Where is that coming from? - No, rifling fireballs around... 255 00:11:51,025 --> 00:11:53,624 No, people will see it from the street and pull in. 256 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,236 They'll want to buy the gas. We have ten containers of gasoline. 257 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,641 - Charlie, the lighter, please. - What the hell... No, no, no. 258 00:11:57,642 --> 00:12:00,823 - Let me reiterate my strong opposition to this idea. - Trust me, Dennis, I know what I'm doing. 259 00:12:00,864 --> 00:12:04,032 This is really unsafe, dude. Do not blow that fireball... 260 00:12:06,963 --> 00:12:10,088 Wow. Okay, wow, I take back everything I just said. 261 00:12:10,089 --> 00:12:12,018 That was amazing. Oh, dude, I'm doing one of those, baby. 262 00:12:12,019 --> 00:12:13,862 - You can do it bigger? - No, Charlie, let me... 263 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,955 Make sure it's bigger. 264 00:12:15,956 --> 00:12:17,578 Wait... 265 00:12:17,579 --> 00:12:19,146 Goddamn it! 266 00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:20,928 You burned my head! 267 00:12:20,929 --> 00:12:22,920 - Oh, I did. I burned him. - Really? 268 00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:26,026 Easy, camper, easy, camper. 269 00:12:26,027 --> 00:12:27,935 - Jesus Christ! How can I relax? - Relax. 270 00:12:27,936 --> 00:12:30,151 - OK, OK? - Just stop. Just stop. 271 00:12:30,152 --> 00:12:32,932 Do you have anything other than a towel and duct tape? 272 00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:34,272 Not really. 273 00:12:34,556 --> 00:12:36,696 New plan... we're going to a hospital. 274 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,328 you know what, bro, actually we're going to be done 275 00:12:38,329 --> 00:12:41,175 with your plans for a little while. 'Cause the system you set up, it ain't working. 276 00:12:41,176 --> 00:12:44,565 So I got a new system. Me... both the brains and the looks. 277 00:12:44,566 --> 00:12:47,136 Charlie, you're still going to be the wild card 'cause that fireball you blew was badass. 278 00:12:47,137 --> 00:12:49,316 It was great, right? You just kind of got in the way. 279 00:12:49,317 --> 00:12:52,462 Mac, check this out though. You're going to be the muscle. 280 00:12:52,744 --> 00:12:53,900 No, I... 281 00:12:53,901 --> 00:12:55,950 I think we've got to stick to the paradigm that we set up. 282 00:12:55,951 --> 00:12:57,977 - The A-Team... - No, no, no! 283 00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,245 - Your paragon is failing us, man. - It's a paradigm, but yeah. 284 00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,649 - It wasn't working. - It's not working. 285 00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:04,573 What happened was, we confused your bossiness with 286 00:13:04,574 --> 00:13:06,910 braininess, and those two are very different things. 287 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,497 That is what happened. 288 00:13:08,498 --> 00:13:10,390 So, check it out. Man, I got a new plan. 289 00:13:10,391 --> 00:13:12,468 - This is what we're going to do, okay, baby? - Yeah. 290 00:13:12,535 --> 00:13:14,839 We're going to steal Frank's rape van because driving around 291 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,033 with all that gasoline is ruing the interior of my car, 292 00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:18,949 - and I just... I won't have it. - No. 293 00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:20,850 Then we're going to take that van, and we're going to offer 294 00:13:20,851 --> 00:13:23,245 people something that gas stations just can't offer. 295 00:13:23,246 --> 00:13:24,240 What? 296 00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:27,585 Gasoline directly to their doorsteps. 297 00:13:27,586 --> 00:13:30,980 Door-to-door gasoline salesmen. Oh, my God, that's amazing. 298 00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:33,428 - That's a brilliant plan, right? - All right, whatever, fine. 299 00:13:33,429 --> 00:13:36,087 Then I'll be the muscle. I'll muscle these pricks into buying the gas. 300 00:13:36,088 --> 00:13:38,484 Ooh, actually why don't you muscle you way back by the van, 301 00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,436 - because you look like a burned-up freak. - You know what? 302 00:13:41,437 --> 00:13:44,385 A look is going to be a big part of this. I'm going to get some disguises. 303 00:13:44,386 --> 00:13:46,321 Why would we need disguises, Charlie? 304 00:13:46,322 --> 00:13:48,680 So people don't know who we are, you know. 305 00:13:48,681 --> 00:13:50,770 They already don't know who we are. 306 00:13:50,771 --> 00:13:52,545 You're not letting the wild card do his thing. 307 00:13:52,546 --> 00:13:54,640 Is there any reason behind what you're doing? 308 00:13:54,641 --> 00:13:56,299 Wild card. 309 00:13:57,261 --> 00:14:01,060 Stewart's up on his second shot on the fairway, hole 15. 310 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,048 I'd say it's about 195 yards. 311 00:14:04,194 --> 00:14:05,789 He has a seven iron. 312 00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:12,322 I mean, how has he been sitting there watching golf for three hours? 313 00:14:12,323 --> 00:14:14,583 - I don't know. - Is that a baby monitor? 314 00:14:14,584 --> 00:14:16,024 Oh, cut it off! 315 00:14:16,071 --> 00:14:17,992 Goddamn it! 316 00:14:17,993 --> 00:14:19,582 - Now he's suspicious of us! - Oh, no! 317 00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,426 - You are such a bad hider. - I'm a bad hider? 318 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,565 You-you never could hide. 319 00:14:22,566 --> 00:14:25,836 I bet you still hide your money in your sock drawer. 320 00:14:26,268 --> 00:14:28,516 - My sock drawer. - Yeah. 321 00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:30,127 Come on. That would be stupid. 322 00:14:30,128 --> 00:14:31,317 - Yeah, you do. - Just shut up. 323 00:14:31,318 --> 00:14:32,822 - You're lying to me. - I'm not lying to you. 324 00:14:32,823 --> 00:14:34,556 - I'm getting out of here. This is a setup. - What? 325 00:14:34,557 --> 00:14:36,750 You're setting me up, and I'm getting the hell out. 326 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,278 Frank, get back here. 327 00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:40,956 You're not gonna do this to me, girl. Get out of here. 328 00:14:40,957 --> 00:14:42,737 - I understand what's going on. - Damn it. 329 00:14:42,738 --> 00:14:43,825 Okay, they're on the move. 330 00:14:43,826 --> 00:14:45,400 - Hey. Son of a bitch. - I know what's going on. 331 00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:46,622 You think I was born yesterday? 332 00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:48,569 - Okay, go, go, go, Mac, go. - What are you talking about? 333 00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:50,339 Yeah, don't-don't lie to me. 334 00:14:50,408 --> 00:14:52,498 I have my ways of finding out things. 335 00:14:52,499 --> 00:14:54,457 You're being so... Oh, my God. 336 00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,520 Is that a Muslim guy? He's getting in my van. 337 00:15:07,945 --> 00:15:10,035 Come on, dude, seriously? 338 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,413 All right, well, just let me do the talking. 339 00:15:29,414 --> 00:15:32,101 Well, I feel like you got to at least talk with a Southern accent, man. 340 00:15:32,102 --> 00:15:34,804 I'm not gonna talk in a Southern accent. It's bad enough that you wore this stupid disguise. 341 00:15:34,805 --> 00:15:36,734 But we're oil men. We would have Southern accents. 342 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,247 Yeah, but we don't need bolo ties and stupid hats. 343 00:15:38,248 --> 00:15:40,054 Yes, you do. She's gonna think, uh... 344 00:15:40,055 --> 00:15:42,280 Hello, ma'am. Well, what a lovely housedress. 345 00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:45,323 Yeah, well, you're looking all sorts of good. 346 00:15:45,586 --> 00:15:50,221 Now, you seem like a sweet, sophisticated, nice, busy, young lady, 347 00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:52,125 so we're not gonna waste your time today. 348 00:15:52,126 --> 00:15:55,784 Nah. We're just a couple oil men in from Dallas, and, well, 349 00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:59,845 we're itching like a hound to give you a-something you want. 350 00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:05,039 What my associate is trying to say is 351 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,004 that we're here to offer your community a much-needed service... 352 00:16:08,005 --> 00:16:12,411 Hells, yeah! We want to feel you up, if'n you were so inclined as to let us. 353 00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,962 Please, let me do the talking. Please, let me... 354 00:16:15,963 --> 00:16:19,385 Now, we ain't gonna take no for an answer now, you hear? Okay? 355 00:16:19,386 --> 00:16:23,169 So don't be making me sic my associate on you here, all right? 356 00:16:23,965 --> 00:16:29,641 He don't take kindly to "no." So, can I feel you up or what? 357 00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:34,955 Yep, you best get to stepping, because Johnny Law's a-coming. 358 00:16:34,956 --> 00:16:37,571 You might want to start driving because she called the cops on us. 359 00:16:37,572 --> 00:16:38,611 Why's he talking like that? 360 00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:40,898 Well, wild card over here decided to lose his mind. 361 00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:43,176 I say, I say, that's just damn preposterous, boy. 362 00:16:43,227 --> 00:16:45,257 Well, now you're just talking like Foghorn Leghorn! 363 00:16:45,258 --> 00:16:47,283 All right, guys, I think it's time we cut our losses and go back 364 00:16:47,284 --> 00:16:48,932 - to the original plan. - Ah, the generator. 365 00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:50,755 No, not the generator. 366 00:16:50,756 --> 00:16:52,625 - Storing the gas and patties. - All right. 367 00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:54,850 Okay? It's too soon to sell this gas anyway, so shut the door. 368 00:16:54,851 --> 00:16:56,582 - Go, go, go, go. - Okay, okay, okay. 369 00:17:01,269 --> 00:17:04,121 All right, admit it, that Muslim guy was gonna rub me out, 370 00:17:04,122 --> 00:17:07,650 and that's when you jumped out of the van after I got out! 371 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:09,465 Admit it, come on! 372 00:17:09,466 --> 00:17:11,306 Oh, my God, I don't know what you're talking about! 373 00:17:11,307 --> 00:17:13,966 Oh, don't lie to me! Come on, admit it! 374 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,710 Okay, okay, I admit it! 375 00:17:15,711 --> 00:17:18,026 - What do you admit?! - I admit anything you want to hear! 376 00:17:18,027 --> 00:17:20,410 Now, you admit that Bruce Mathis is a terrorist... 377 00:17:20,411 --> 00:17:22,521 - He's a terrorist! - and that you are working for him! 378 00:17:22,522 --> 00:17:26,019 Yes, I work for him. We get our information from the top, the top cave. 379 00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:28,863 Don't bullshit me! That's all I got to say! 380 00:17:30,292 --> 00:17:33,698 Like what I'm seeing here, Frank. Bring me up to speed. 381 00:17:33,699 --> 00:17:35,966 I'm waterboarding your sister because she's 382 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,475 - escalating the plot to kill us. - Dennis, help me! 383 00:17:38,476 --> 00:17:41,049 Why the hell would I help you, Dee? You're still plotting to kill me. 384 00:17:41,050 --> 00:17:42,998 - No! Help! - Shut up! 385 00:17:42,999 --> 00:17:44,689 Shut up! Shut up! 386 00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,723 - Yeah, shut up. - Tell me what's going on! 387 00:17:46,724 --> 00:17:48,818 Hey, Frank, by the way, we borrowed that pathetic rape van 388 00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:50,691 of yours; you got to get that gas pedal fixed, man. 389 00:17:50,692 --> 00:17:53,755 Mac rammed into some dude's car, like, five times. It was amazing. 390 00:17:53,756 --> 00:17:57,050 You guys took the van? I thought it was some Muslim guy. 391 00:17:57,051 --> 00:17:59,365 - No, not really. - What is going on in here? 392 00:17:59,366 --> 00:18:03,459 - Frank's waterboarding Dee. - You guys?! You took the van?! 393 00:18:03,692 --> 00:18:07,011 - Well, hell, yeah. - Oh, my God, I just realized something. 394 00:18:07,376 --> 00:18:09,540 Frank is the muscle. 395 00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:10,911 What? 396 00:18:10,912 --> 00:18:13,023 The reason that shit hasn't been working out for us is 397 00:18:13,024 --> 00:18:15,838 because we are not working with our full crew. 398 00:18:15,839 --> 00:18:18,515 I'm the brains, you're the looks, Charlie's the wild card, 399 00:18:18,516 --> 00:18:20,776 and Frank is the muscle. 400 00:18:21,336 --> 00:18:24,140 - Well, what's Dee? - She's the useless chick. 401 00:18:24,141 --> 00:18:25,343 Yeah! 402 00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:27,648 - You see? We complete it! - Yeah! 403 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,299 We all complete the team! 404 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,141 Now, if we stick together, guys, we can do anything. 405 00:18:32,142 --> 00:18:35,816 Now, question: Frank, does that waterboard really work? 406 00:18:35,817 --> 00:18:37,821 You bet your ass! 407 00:18:37,822 --> 00:18:40,333 I got Dee to admit to things she never did! 408 00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:42,011 Well, then it works. 409 00:18:42,082 --> 00:18:45,040 All right, then, gentlemen, I got a new plan. 410 00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:55,532 Bruce's, we slip in and we grab him. 411 00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:57,058 Shouldn't you guys have gotten these barrels out of the 412 00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:58,714 - van before we got in? - They're really heavy, Dee. 413 00:18:58,715 --> 00:19:00,266 We've already had to do it, like, a million times. 414 00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:03,288 - Where'd you get the money for this gas? - Dee, will you shut up and let me continue? 415 00:19:03,289 --> 00:19:05,726 Now, Frank, when we get back to the bar, you waterboard the shit 416 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,558 - out of Bruce and get a confession. - No problem. 417 00:19:07,559 --> 00:19:09,766 Now, Dennis, you take that confession to the police, use 418 00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:12,309 your charm and good looks, and get that reward money. 419 00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:14,757 - Done and done. - Okay, Dee, you continue to be useless. 420 00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:17,389 Charlie and I will use that reward money to pay off our electricity bill. 421 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,575 Then we'll probably buy some more gasoline 'cause I feel like that's a great plan. 422 00:19:21,712 --> 00:19:23,679 Wait. Brakes don't... Brakes don't work. 423 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,238 - The gas pedal. - No, I'm saying, no, the brakes! 424 00:19:25,239 --> 00:19:27,716 - Wiggle the gas pedal. - Guys, why aren't the brakes working? 425 00:19:27,717 --> 00:19:30,734 Because I cut the brakes! Wild card, bitches! 426 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,417 - What?! Charlie! - Holy shit! 427 00:19:35,418 --> 00:19:36,804 - Oh, God! - Oh, my God! 428 00:19:36,805 --> 00:19:37,844 Oh, God! 429 00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,185 Jesus Christ, guys, I can't stop this van! 430 00:19:39,186 --> 00:19:41,175 - Seriously?! - Abort! Abort! 431 00:19:41,879 --> 00:19:43,268 Go! 432 00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,975 Mastersfield steps up to the tee, eight strokes behind the leader. 433 00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:50,331 Hole number 17, 338 yards, dogleg left. 434 00:20:02,079 --> 00:20:05,054 Oh, goddamn it! What the hell, man?! 435 00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:08,346 Ah, my van. 436 00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:13,502 Why is someone trying to ruin my life?! 437 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:16,010 I didn't do anything to anybody, man! 438 00:20:16,011 --> 00:20:17,759 I love that car! 439 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,874 That's, uh, that's not Bruce, is it? 440 00:20:21,242 --> 00:20:22,632 No. 441 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,648 If there's something strange 442 00:20:27,649 --> 00:20:31,423 In your neighborhood Who you gonna call? 443 00:20:31,424 --> 00:20:33,481 Ghostbusters!