1 00:00:00,922 --> 00:00:04,824 You're definitely gonna get this on. You ready? 2 00:00:04,892 --> 00:00:06,655 Uh, yeah. I guess. Okay. 3 00:00:06,727 --> 00:00:10,720 He knew that if the gooks were to get their hands on the watch, they would take it. 4 00:00:10,798 --> 00:00:12,732 So he shoved it... up his ass! 5 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,598 I have no idea what you're doing. Why, it's Christopher Walken! 6 00:00:15,670 --> 00:00:16,932 It sounded like Rosie Perez or something. 7 00:00:17,004 --> 00:00:18,904 Come on! That was a perfect Walken... 8 00:00:18,973 --> 00:00:21,533 and it's gonna win me the talent show. What talent show? 9 00:00:21,609 --> 00:00:24,737 The one I throw for the pub crawl. Are you doing that again? 10 00:00:24,812 --> 00:00:26,939 Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, it's not really a talent show anyway. 11 00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:29,983 She just gets the most untalented people in Philly to enter the competition... 12 00:00:30,051 --> 00:00:32,144 so she can win it, and then she never wins it anyway. 13 00:00:32,219 --> 00:00:33,743 No. Last year she got smoked by this chick... 14 00:00:33,821 --> 00:00:35,311 who ate, like, 50 hot dogs in three seconds. 15 00:00:35,389 --> 00:00:36,947 That was amazing! That was not talent. 16 00:00:37,024 --> 00:00:39,424 Guys, guys, guys! I got some news! Some terrible news! 17 00:00:39,493 --> 00:00:43,520 We got a huge problem. Can we stop for a second and talk about this? 18 00:00:43,598 --> 00:00:45,623 What? What's with that jacket? 19 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:48,430 I was gonna wait on that. I think we should go over the jacket now. 20 00:00:48,502 --> 00:00:51,266 No, let's hear about it now. First of all, it's not a jacket. 21 00:00:51,339 --> 00:00:53,068 It's a duster. It's like a jacket... 22 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,267 only it's longer, thicker and far more badass. 23 00:00:55,343 --> 00:00:58,210 I look like Lorenzo Lamas, and women find it irresistible. 24 00:00:58,279 --> 00:01:01,112 Well, that part's just simply not true. Either way, I like it. 25 00:01:01,182 --> 00:01:03,650 I bought it with the money I was gonna make at the pub crawl. 26 00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:05,811 Here's the problem. You know that Korean barbecue joint down the street? 27 00:01:05,886 --> 00:01:07,820 Mr. Kim's? They just signed up for the pub crawl. 28 00:01:07,888 --> 00:01:10,379 Which means now they're the last stop! They can't be the last stop. 29 00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:12,824 We're always the last stop! That's the only time of year we make any money! 30 00:01:12,893 --> 00:01:15,623 They're also experimenting with a secret microbrew. 31 00:01:15,696 --> 00:01:17,994 Word on the street is that it's delicious and powerful! 32 00:01:18,065 --> 00:01:19,760 Bullshit! Yep. 33 00:01:19,834 --> 00:01:23,361 We're the microbrew guys! They can't take that! Wait. You guys have a microbrew? 34 00:01:23,437 --> 00:01:25,496 Yes! We make a delicious, amazing microbrew! Really? 35 00:01:25,573 --> 00:01:29,009 Oh, it's amazing. They-They throw all the skunk beer into a trash can. 36 00:01:29,076 --> 00:01:31,374 And then they sell it for $10 a glass. 37 00:01:31,445 --> 00:01:33,504 The point is we cannot let these Koreans steal our thunder! 38 00:01:33,581 --> 00:01:35,674 They wanna make a top secret microbrew... 39 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:38,184 We gotta make ours more powerful! Right! We'll make it... 40 00:01:38,252 --> 00:01:40,550 so strong that people will pass out and vomit and vomit in their own pass out. 41 00:01:40,621 --> 00:01:42,646 They'll never leave and go to Kim's in the first place! 42 00:01:42,723 --> 00:01:45,021 Yeah. I will make this year's talent show the best talent show ever. 43 00:01:45,092 --> 00:01:47,356 Let the men talk, Dee! Let the men talk! What are you saying? 44 00:01:47,428 --> 00:01:49,419 We're in the middle of an emergency here! Guys, we gotta move on this. 45 00:01:49,497 --> 00:01:51,488 It's the damn North Koreans! Damn North Koreans. 46 00:01:51,565 --> 00:01:53,590 Wait. Wait a second. What makes you guys think they're North Koreans? 47 00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:55,101 That's the bad Korea. 48 00:01:55,169 --> 00:01:56,761 They're the sneaky, bad Korea, man. 49 00:01:56,837 --> 00:01:59,931 The ones on the top and they sneak down and they eat everybody's pets. 50 00:02:00,007 --> 00:02:02,498 I can't stand it! It's un-American! All right, goddamn it. 51 00:02:02,576 --> 00:02:05,204 That's it. They're gonna take our way of life from us. It's bullshit. 52 00:02:05,279 --> 00:02:08,942 Okay, gang. Let's solve this North Korea situation once and for all. 53 00:02:44,351 --> 00:02:45,978 All right, that's enough. No, no, no, no. 54 00:02:46,053 --> 00:02:47,782 That's enough moonshine, Frank! No, no, no, no! 55 00:02:47,855 --> 00:02:49,413 Look, we don't want people to go blind! 56 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,458 You can never have enough moonshine. Goddamn it. 57 00:02:51,525 --> 00:02:54,722 Trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about. How's it taste? 58 00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:58,765 We gotta lace it with somethin' sweeter. 59 00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,563 We gotta add a little sweetening. Oh, Deandra. 60 00:03:01,635 --> 00:03:04,570 Could you be a darling and run down and get Daddy some antifreeze? 61 00:03:04,638 --> 00:03:07,334 No. We don't want to kill people. You're not getting this. 62 00:03:07,408 --> 00:03:10,775 I can't help you guys. I have a very busy day. I'm auditioning people all day. 63 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:13,973 And also, you're not my dad. Winning a talent show that you throw for yourself... 64 00:03:14,048 --> 00:03:16,141 is just about the saddest thing you've ever done, Dee. 65 00:03:16,217 --> 00:03:18,481 Listen. If this is all about boosting your self-confidence... 66 00:03:18,552 --> 00:03:22,147 why don't you go out and bang a bunch of random dudes like you did in the good old days? 67 00:03:23,557 --> 00:03:25,582 This talent show's very important to me. All right? 68 00:03:25,659 --> 00:03:27,752 And I'm not gonna let you guys steamroll me like you always do. 69 00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:29,796 Why don't you get Charlie and Dennis to help you? 70 00:03:29,864 --> 00:03:31,764 Well, Dennis and Charlie are out collecting intelligence, okay? 71 00:03:31,832 --> 00:03:34,995 Oh! You're playing spies now? 72 00:03:35,069 --> 00:03:37,196 Intel is the name of the game, Dee. It's all about the intelligence! 73 00:03:37,271 --> 00:03:39,831 Then you picked the wrong two people. Maybe so. 74 00:03:39,907 --> 00:03:42,137 But we do have a secret weapon. 75 00:03:48,783 --> 00:03:51,047 That would've been a lot better if I was wearing the duster, dude. 76 00:03:51,118 --> 00:03:53,245 Come on, dude. It doesn't fit you. It's too big for you. 77 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,517 That's why it's so awesome on me. It's like, "Why's that guy in a giant jacket? 78 00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:58,683 Why do you take this away from me? What is he hiding, dude?" 79 00:03:58,759 --> 00:04:00,886 I just wish you'd let me do it. Can we just snoop around a little bit? 80 00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:03,259 We can snoop around. But I just... I should be wearing the duster. 81 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,195 That's the bottom line. No, I'm wearing the duster. That's the end of it. 82 00:04:05,266 --> 00:04:07,166 Fine. We should drink a couple of these microbrews. 83 00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:09,464 Let's get some microbrews. That's what people on the pub crawl are gonna do. 84 00:04:09,537 --> 00:04:10,970 Yeah, I know. 85 00:04:12,373 --> 00:04:14,500 Two microbrews, please. 86 00:04:14,575 --> 00:04:18,067 All right. What is this? "Pub Crawl Karaoke Contest"? Uhoh. 87 00:04:18,145 --> 00:04:20,670 Bro, "Prize... $500"? That's not good. 88 00:04:20,748 --> 00:04:22,807 Aw, shit. Look at that bracket. Do you think that's... 89 00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:25,113 That's what that's for? Oh, that's for the karaoke contest, bro. 90 00:04:25,186 --> 00:04:28,019 Oh, my God, dude. There's a lot of names on there. That's huge, man. 91 00:04:28,088 --> 00:04:31,182 That's gonna... Bracketing is a very intricate and difficult thing to do, man. 92 00:04:31,258 --> 00:04:33,419 They got it down. I gotta get this intel back to Mac. 93 00:04:33,494 --> 00:04:35,860 Well, don't... Hold on that because we want to try the... What? 94 00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:37,693 The microbeers? Yes. 95 00:04:37,765 --> 00:04:39,699 Here we go. Thank you. Thank you. 96 00:04:41,235 --> 00:04:42,930 Mmm! Oh, shit. 97 00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:45,597 Goddamn it. That's good. That is really good. 98 00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:46,901 That's... That is... 99 00:04:46,974 --> 00:04:48,908 Mmm! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 100 00:04:51,345 --> 00:04:53,677 Son of a bitch, that's good. They're putting somethin' in that... 101 00:04:53,747 --> 00:04:56,079 'cause you can't just make beer like that. What do you mean? 102 00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:58,380 Like they're enriching it? 103 00:04:58,452 --> 00:05:01,148 Are they enriching the... You cannot... 104 00:05:01,222 --> 00:05:03,486 They're enriching the beers, Charlie. They're enriching their beer. 105 00:05:06,093 --> 00:05:07,856 That's definitely enriched beer. That's an enriched beer, dude. 106 00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:09,953 That's not conven... I've only tried enriched beer like once, I think. 107 00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:12,055 They're not allowed to have the capabilities to enrich beer here. 108 00:05:12,132 --> 00:05:14,396 Where are they enriching... What is going on in this place? 109 00:05:14,468 --> 00:05:17,062 Look at all these people, man. They're like, uh... Oh, there's like brainwash... 110 00:05:17,137 --> 00:05:19,071 They're being brainwashed. Notice how they're all happy and smiling... 111 00:05:19,139 --> 00:05:20,902 'cause they're drinking enrich... How old was that bartender? 112 00:05:20,975 --> 00:05:23,375 Was she 16 or 60? You can't tell. You have no Idea. 113 00:05:23,444 --> 00:05:25,275 They're timeless. They're endless and timeless. 114 00:05:25,346 --> 00:05:27,610 Oh, God. Damn it, dude. We are in big trouble here, man. 115 00:05:27,681 --> 00:05:32,141 Oh, shit! Look at that door, dude. See that door right there? 116 00:05:32,219 --> 00:05:35,780 The one marked "pirate"? You think a pirate lives in there? 117 00:05:35,856 --> 00:05:39,485 I see a door marked "private. " Is that the... Is that the door you were talkin' about? 118 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,221 No, I was talking a... Yeah. 119 00:05:41,295 --> 00:05:42,762 I didn't say... No, you s... 120 00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:44,661 What did you hear? 121 00:05:44,732 --> 00:05:46,723 I heard you say you saw a door marked "pirate. " 122 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,427 And "Is there a pirate living in there?" Yes, that's why you thought... 123 00:05:48,502 --> 00:05:50,868 No. See, that's... Why would there be a pirate living in a Korean restaurant? 124 00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:53,168 Are we gonna talk about pirates all day? Or we gonna find out who lives in there? 125 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,538 You're the one that... All right. Jesus Christ, man. 126 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,940 Here we go. What's wrong? Come on, open it. 127 00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:00,776 It's locked. All right... 128 00:06:00,848 --> 00:06:02,816 I'm gonna try this out. What... What is that? Your apartment key? 129 00:06:02,883 --> 00:06:05,010 Yeah. I'm gonna see if it's gonna work here. That's not gonna work! 130 00:06:05,085 --> 00:06:06,712 Why not? We're not at your apartment, shithead! 131 00:06:06,787 --> 00:06:08,755 How many possible lock combinations can there be? Oh, so many, dude! 132 00:06:08,822 --> 00:06:11,052 Like hundreds of millions. Well, eventually they're gonna overlap. 133 00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,922 They're not ever gonna over... You know what? You're right. It's not working. 134 00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:14,620 Oh, no shit. No shit. It was worth a try. 135 00:06:14,695 --> 00:06:15,957 It was not worth a try. Well... 136 00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,260 Move over. I'm gonna, like, kick the door or some shit. 137 00:06:18,332 --> 00:06:20,095 You're gonna kick it? Really? 138 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:22,192 Damn, dude. This thing is like... What? 139 00:06:22,269 --> 00:06:24,362 Enriched in its own way. All right. Let me try something else here. 140 00:06:24,438 --> 00:06:26,030 Try a spin kick. Try a spin kick. Spin kick? 141 00:06:26,106 --> 00:06:28,074 Yeah. You think you can do it? I'm not even sure... 142 00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:29,575 Okay. 143 00:06:31,412 --> 00:06:34,210 Sons of... All right, I'm gonna kick. You ram. Go! 144 00:06:35,616 --> 00:06:37,550 Nice. Good. 145 00:06:40,254 --> 00:06:42,449 How is that not working? No, I don't know. 146 00:06:42,523 --> 00:06:44,423 Are you okay? Yeah, I'm all right. 147 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,459 All right, we're gonna do that some more. But let's get some more of that enriched beer. 148 00:06:46,527 --> 00:06:48,518 Mm-hmm. I'm gonna call Mac and give him the intel. 149 00:06:48,595 --> 00:06:49,527 Yeah. 150 00:06:49,663 --> 00:06:50,925 Holy shit! 151 00:06:50,998 --> 00:06:54,092 All right, see what else you can find out, and call me back. Good work. 152 00:06:54,168 --> 00:06:56,398 Forget the microbrew. What's the intel? 153 00:06:56,470 --> 00:06:59,405 They're having a karaoke contest. Oh! 154 00:06:59,473 --> 00:07:01,202 I'm elevating us to threat level yellow. It's time. 155 00:07:01,275 --> 00:07:02,742 Yellow? Yeah. It's time. 156 00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:05,040 What were we before? Orange, of course. 157 00:07:05,112 --> 00:07:06,977 Orange is much more threatening than yellow! 158 00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:09,038 No, that's an old system. It doesn't work anymore. 159 00:07:09,116 --> 00:07:11,311 Clearly yellow... You go from yellow to orange to red! 160 00:07:11,385 --> 00:07:13,250 Yellow is more threatening than orange! Frank, this is orange! 161 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,548 Have you seen this? Yellow, orange, red! 162 00:07:14,621 --> 00:07:16,145 This is yellow! See this? Red, red! 163 00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:17,918 Is this more threatening? Yellow, orange, red! 164 00:07:17,992 --> 00:07:19,892 It's backwards going to yellow. Wow. 165 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,484 Elevate... Color fight. Listen. 166 00:07:21,562 --> 00:07:23,757 I need you monkeys outta here 'cause my contestants are waiting. 167 00:07:23,831 --> 00:07:25,492 That's a no can do, and I'll tell you why. 168 00:07:25,566 --> 00:07:28,034 The Koreans have escalated the conflict. So I've upgraded us to yellow. 169 00:07:28,102 --> 00:07:30,263 I don't know what that means. It means we're taking over the talent show. 170 00:07:30,337 --> 00:07:31,827 What? No, you're not! It's already done. 171 00:07:31,905 --> 00:07:33,372 Go on. I knew it. I told you. 172 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,135 You're trying to steamroll me. It's not gonna work. Go on. 173 00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:37,734 I'm gonna win this competition. There's nothing you guys can do about it. 174 00:07:37,811 --> 00:07:40,177 You're not even gonna be in it, Dee. You have to face facts. 175 00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:42,340 You have no talent. You're talentless, sweetie. 176 00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,543 Oh, really? Oh, is that so? 177 00:07:44,618 --> 00:07:47,314 Why don't you take a gander at this? 178 00:07:47,388 --> 00:07:50,118 No, Mookie. I don't wanna do it. It's too hot outside. 179 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:52,124 Right? 180 00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:54,922 What was that? What the hell is that? 181 00:07:54,995 --> 00:07:56,758 Rosie Perez! What? 182 00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:59,560 That's terrible. Oh, come on! You love that one! 183 00:07:59,633 --> 00:08:01,362 You know what, Dee? You're a judge. That's it. 184 00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:03,926 Dee's gonna be a judge. And you know why? 185 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:07,201 Because sitting in judgment of other people is the greatest way to make yourself feel better. 186 00:08:07,274 --> 00:08:09,208 Problem solved. 187 00:08:09,276 --> 00:08:10,607 And go. All right, again. 188 00:08:10,677 --> 00:08:12,907 And go. You might have to give me the duster back. 189 00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:15,312 It's not working, man. Aw, it'll work. Go! 190 00:08:15,382 --> 00:08:17,111 All right, it's not working, dude. All right, okay. 191 00:08:17,184 --> 00:08:18,811 I gotta use your head or something. All right, yes, yes. 192 00:08:18,886 --> 00:08:20,945 Hold me sideways and use my head like a battering ram. 193 00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:23,319 All right. Now pick me up off the ground, okay? 194 00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:24,721 Why are you people ruining my door? 195 00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:26,726 Yes! Good! Hello! All right. Yeah. 196 00:08:26,794 --> 00:08:30,594 Are you the owner? I owner. I Mr. Kim. 197 00:08:30,664 --> 00:08:32,598 All right. Okay, good. Well, Mr... 198 00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:37,262 Wait. You say Mr. Kim? Yes! I Mr. Kim! 199 00:08:37,337 --> 00:08:41,205 Wow. You should really do something different with your hair because... 200 00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:43,675 Yeah. You're not coming across at all like a man to me. 201 00:08:43,744 --> 00:08:46,076 You don't look or seem like a man. Look... 202 00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:49,240 If you don't tell us what's in that microbrew, so help me, God... 203 00:08:49,316 --> 00:08:52,183 we will send you people back to the Stone Age. 204 00:08:52,252 --> 00:08:55,187 I no respond to bully! 205 00:08:57,257 --> 00:08:59,248 What are you gonna do about it? 206 00:08:59,326 --> 00:09:01,157 You're messin' with the wrong country, pal! 207 00:09:01,228 --> 00:09:03,025 That's an act of aggression right there, buddy! 208 00:09:03,097 --> 00:09:05,224 Every Asian know martial arts? They have to learn it when they grow up. 209 00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:06,323 That's right. It's like school. 210 00:09:08,402 --> 00:09:10,996 Yes! 211 00:09:11,071 --> 00:09:13,164 Okay, okay. Okay! 212 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,538 Oh, God. Jesus! That guy is such a dickhead! 213 00:09:15,609 --> 00:09:17,941 You don't have to take that from him. I hope you know that. 214 00:09:18,011 --> 00:09:21,037 If I don't do what he say, he punish me! 215 00:09:21,115 --> 00:09:25,313 He terrible man, okay? Always, "Work, work, work!" He treat me like slave! 216 00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:26,875 Slave? Slave? He's got slaves? 217 00:09:26,954 --> 00:09:29,115 He's has slaves in there? What kind of a communist dictatorship... 218 00:09:29,189 --> 00:09:31,817 is this piece of shit running? Hey, I no phone, no TV! 219 00:09:31,892 --> 00:09:33,883 I not even allowed to drink the beer! 220 00:09:33,961 --> 00:09:36,452 What? No! 221 00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:38,464 No! That is not acceptable! 222 00:09:38,532 --> 00:09:40,090 You're mad about the beer thing? I'm v... I'm ver... 223 00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:41,930 Are you not mad about the beer thing? Yeah. Of course I am. 224 00:09:42,002 --> 00:09:44,027 Look, you should be able to drink beer. That's what happens in America. 225 00:09:44,104 --> 00:09:45,901 Yeah. In America, you can... You can drink beer. Look. 226 00:09:45,973 --> 00:09:47,634 I'll tell you what. You come down to Paddy's Pub, all right? 227 00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:49,437 We'll let you drink all the beer you want. 228 00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:51,068 You can smoke your cigarettes. Mm-hmm. 229 00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:53,739 You won't have to deal with the trash 'cause I deal with the trash. 230 00:09:53,814 --> 00:09:55,645 You do trash? He takes out the trash. 231 00:09:55,716 --> 00:09:57,206 Me trash. He captures the rats. 232 00:09:57,284 --> 00:10:00,048 You beer, me trash, okay? I beer, you trash! 233 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,054 I trash, yes! 234 00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:06,058 Okay! 235 00:10:15,302 --> 00:10:17,566 Holy shit, bro. Did you just see that? 236 00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:20,106 Yeah. She made a meaningful gesture towards me. 237 00:10:20,174 --> 00:10:24,577 She made... No, dude. She was gesturing to me. 238 00:10:24,645 --> 00:10:26,806 I had my arm out like this. 239 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,144 Yeah, why were you doing that? 'Cause she extended to me. 240 00:10:29,216 --> 00:10:31,514 And then there was stuff in the eyes between us. 241 00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:33,348 And my arm was at her. All right. 242 00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:35,183 Sure, pal. Wha... 243 00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:43,755 But the dog was buried by the bright sunlight 244 00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:48,631 And the old man died In his sleep last night 245 00:10:48,702 --> 00:10:51,227 And the young girl never did get... 246 00:10:51,305 --> 00:10:54,206 All right! All right! All right! That's enough. That's enough. Thank you. 247 00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:58,574 Well... Martha, you are terrible. 248 00:10:58,645 --> 00:11:01,876 I wanted to pluck out my eyes and jam them into my ears. 249 00:11:01,949 --> 00:11:05,077 I wanted to pummel you with a manhole cover. 250 00:11:05,152 --> 00:11:08,883 There is no point to you. Oh, no... 251 00:11:08,956 --> 00:11:11,584 Sweetie, I thought you were really talented. 252 00:11:11,658 --> 00:11:14,058 And I liked it, what you had on your fingers. 253 00:11:14,127 --> 00:11:15,719 And your hair is so... 254 00:11:15,796 --> 00:11:19,630 It's like it has a bulb on the front of it. 255 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,362 It just wasn't happening for me, dog. I mean... 256 00:11:22,436 --> 00:11:24,529 What? No, dog. I was not... 257 00:11:24,605 --> 00:11:27,199 It was the finger cymbals need work. Oh! 258 00:11:27,274 --> 00:11:30,607 And the jewelry and everything just... 259 00:11:30,677 --> 00:11:32,804 It was... It was just okay, dog. 260 00:11:32,879 --> 00:11:35,211 Is it a yes or no, Frank? It's gotta be no, dog. 261 00:11:35,282 --> 00:11:38,149 Dee? Oh, I just think you're so full of magic. 262 00:11:38,218 --> 00:11:40,482 You're like a big, round wizard. Right. 263 00:11:40,554 --> 00:11:42,818 Well, it's a no from me. So... off you go, Martha. 264 00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:49,091 Why did you get so drunk? You got drunk! 265 00:11:49,162 --> 00:11:51,687 I'm just really exhausted. What's in that cup? 266 00:11:51,765 --> 00:11:54,359 Rum and Cokes. Why are you getting wasted? 267 00:11:54,434 --> 00:11:56,766 Maybe because you dicks stole my talent show. 268 00:11:56,837 --> 00:11:58,702 Do you have any idea how important this is? "You have any idea... " 269 00:11:58,772 --> 00:12:01,570 We're trying to save the pub crawl. Really? This is what you're doing? 270 00:12:01,642 --> 00:12:04,202 You know what's gonna happen if the North Koreans take over? 271 00:12:04,278 --> 00:12:06,838 They're gonna ruin our way of life! Get your shit together, dog! 272 00:12:06,913 --> 00:12:08,210 Next! 273 00:12:09,783 --> 00:12:11,808 Duster Look out, man 274 00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:14,410 Here comes a brother The man is in a duster 275 00:12:14,488 --> 00:12:16,581 He's a superfine fantastic man 276 00:12:16,657 --> 00:12:18,955 He loves to wear his du... 277 00:12:19,026 --> 00:12:21,119 Oh, my God! 278 00:12:21,194 --> 00:12:23,526 Oh, my God! You scared me. What are you doing? 279 00:12:23,597 --> 00:12:26,498 I run away. Okay. 280 00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:29,865 Good. Uh... What are you doing here? 281 00:12:29,936 --> 00:12:34,464 I follow you home because I like you. 282 00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:36,975 Nice. Good. I... 'Cause I knew... 283 00:12:37,044 --> 00:12:39,342 I knew that... Right on! Okay. 284 00:12:39,413 --> 00:12:41,643 Wait. All the way home? Yes. 285 00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:45,179 So you saw me eat that Hot Pocket I found in the garbage? 286 00:12:45,252 --> 00:12:48,483 Yes. Any thoughts on that? 287 00:12:48,555 --> 00:12:50,750 No. Oh, man. I like you. 288 00:12:50,824 --> 00:12:52,815 Come on in. I like you. 289 00:12:52,893 --> 00:12:54,827 Yeah. 290 00:12:57,768 --> 00:13:00,066 Cartoon Soundtrack) 291 00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:02,435 Hello there, Dennis. It's Charlie. 292 00:13:02,507 --> 00:13:05,442 How you doin'? Hey, you're never gonna guess who showed up at my... 293 00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:08,707 That's a very good guess. Congratulations. But the point is that I have defeated you... 294 00:13:08,779 --> 00:13:11,304 at this little game of hearts and... and minds so that... 295 00:13:11,382 --> 00:13:14,283 No, don't come over. No, dude. I don't want you to come over, dude. 296 00:13:14,352 --> 00:13:15,876 Don't c... Dennis, don't come over. 297 00:13:15,953 --> 00:13:18,751 D... Well, then why... No, I'm not scared. I just don't want you comin'... 298 00:13:18,823 --> 00:13:21,553 Goddamn it! No! Why did I call him? 299 00:13:30,201 --> 00:13:33,830 Good evening. I need to speak to Mr. Kim, please. 300 00:13:33,905 --> 00:13:36,635 I Mr. Kim. Hmm. 301 00:13:36,707 --> 00:13:40,108 All right. Uh, Mr. Kim, my name is... 302 00:13:40,177 --> 00:13:43,943 R Rita F-Fire... s. 303 00:13:44,015 --> 00:13:49,385 Hmm, Fires. And I am from the National Health Inspectors... 304 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,921 Uh, Store. And I need to... 305 00:13:51,989 --> 00:13:55,857 I need to make sure that your secret microbrew is up to code. 306 00:13:55,927 --> 00:13:57,758 Health inspector? 307 00:13:57,828 --> 00:14:00,729 Hmm. Oh, you bet your ass, Kim. 308 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,698 Okay, all right! I just... God! 309 00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:04,701 I just want your stupid recipe! 310 00:14:04,769 --> 00:14:07,533 You... terrible actress. 311 00:14:07,605 --> 00:14:09,630 Wait! Okay. 312 00:14:09,707 --> 00:14:12,369 Hmm, I'll sleep with you. 313 00:14:12,443 --> 00:14:16,379 Your breath smell like vomit. 314 00:14:16,447 --> 00:14:19,075 Okay, but... 315 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,482 I know recipe. 316 00:14:22,954 --> 00:14:26,048 You do? Well, what... What is it? 317 00:14:26,123 --> 00:14:28,148 Offer still stand? 318 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:35,663 All right. Where is she? Ah, dude, you might as well turn right back around, man. 319 00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:38,065 'Cause she's in love with me, dude. Uh, yeah, I doubt that. 320 00:14:38,135 --> 00:14:39,466 Hi. Hi. 321 00:14:39,537 --> 00:14:41,937 We have so much in common, you're not gonna believe. What? 322 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,998 Uh, we both like pizza. Pizza! 323 00:14:45,076 --> 00:14:47,636 Well, I like pizza. Everybody loves pizza. 324 00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,043 Oh, good. We both hate mean people. 325 00:14:49,113 --> 00:14:50,808 Who likes mean people? We don't like mean people. 326 00:14:50,881 --> 00:14:51,848 Well, neither do I. 327 00:14:51,916 --> 00:14:53,850 Well, we both think kissing's gross. 328 00:14:53,918 --> 00:14:56,250 How is kissing gross? You know, we just don't like it. 329 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,015 We're not into it, you know? Probably, it's... Sticky. 330 00:14:58,089 --> 00:15:01,252 Is it sticky? It's, like, there's candy and beer in your mouth. 331 00:15:01,325 --> 00:15:03,850 How is it sticky? From candy and beer? I don't know. 332 00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:06,726 This is bullshit. Clearly there's some kind of language barrier thing happening here. 333 00:15:06,797 --> 00:15:10,096 So I'm gonna go ahead and pop this shirt off and finish this thing once and for all, Charles. 334 00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:12,101 Charlie? Mm-hmm? 335 00:15:12,169 --> 00:15:13,932 He smell like dog fart. 336 00:15:14,005 --> 00:15:16,565 Eww! She says you smell like a dog fart. 337 00:15:16,641 --> 00:15:18,438 Oh, yeah? All right, take It off. Take It off for us. 338 00:15:18,509 --> 00:15:20,238 Dog fart, huh? 339 00:15:53,444 --> 00:15:55,878 Am I in America? 340 00:15:58,949 --> 00:16:00,576 Ladies. 341 00:16:00,651 --> 00:16:02,312 Nice turnout, huh? Yeah. 342 00:16:02,386 --> 00:16:04,217 But I'm getting a little nervous here, Frank. 343 00:16:04,288 --> 00:16:06,722 I've heard some rumblings about Mr. Kim's, okay? We gotta keep these people here. 344 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,760 Don't worry, Mac. I got a plan. 345 00:16:11,162 --> 00:16:13,892 Mac, I got problems, man. 346 00:16:13,964 --> 00:16:16,728 I can see that. Why are you wearing the duster with no shirt? 347 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,235 I'm trying to get my mojo back. Charlie and I have been competing... 348 00:16:19,303 --> 00:16:21,237 over the same Korean chick, and he's like totally winning. 349 00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:23,535 Why are you wearing my duster with no shirt? 350 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,167 This is the perfect combination. Do I really have to explain this to you, bro? 351 00:16:26,243 --> 00:16:28,507 Yes! Explain it to me. Are you kidding me? 352 00:16:28,579 --> 00:16:32,345 Black leather duster... tough, muscular dude underneath it, inside of it. Very sexual. 353 00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:35,044 Check this out. Check this out. What's with the hose? 354 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,815 Hang on. I'm gonna spray it on the women's tops. 355 00:16:37,888 --> 00:16:40,857 We get a better look at their talents if their shirts are wet. 356 00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:43,018 Wet T-shirt contest. I like that. Wait, Frank. Frank. 357 00:16:43,094 --> 00:16:45,824 How are we gonna have a wet T- shirt contest without girls? 358 00:16:45,896 --> 00:16:48,990 We never got any contestants. We can use the girls that are here. 359 00:16:49,066 --> 00:16:50,761 They don't even know they're contestants. 360 00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:53,804 You can't just blast people with a hose in a bar. They will leave. 361 00:16:53,871 --> 00:16:56,066 Lock the door. No, that's not gonna work. 362 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,573 Frank, go get your gun. 363 00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:00,906 Perfect. Go over to Mr. Kim. Convince him to close for the day. 364 00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,242 I can do that. Oh, excuse us! Excuse us, please. 365 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,144 Excuse us! Heyoh! 366 00:17:04,215 --> 00:17:07,275 Heyoh! I love when you say it! 367 00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:09,512 We are so happy. And do you know why? 368 00:17:09,587 --> 00:17:12,215 We just got engaged. Yes! 369 00:17:12,289 --> 00:17:15,053 You guys just got engaged? Yes! 370 00:17:15,126 --> 00:17:16,218 Yes. Now we're engaged. 371 00:17:16,293 --> 00:17:18,193 All right, do you want to have some champagne? 372 00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:19,991 Yes. We're gonna have some champagne to celebrate this. 373 00:17:20,064 --> 00:17:22,032 Come on. Champagne! 374 00:17:22,099 --> 00:17:25,068 Did you guys happen to catch what Sun-Li was wearing? White tank top. 375 00:17:25,136 --> 00:17:27,764 A white tank top. Exactly. I was thinking we could talk Charlie... 376 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,466 into having her enter the wet T- shirt contest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 377 00:17:30,541 --> 00:17:32,133 We'll tell him it's all a part of Dee's talent show. 378 00:17:32,209 --> 00:17:35,235 Right. When she jumps up on the stage, we'll blast her with the water. 379 00:17:35,312 --> 00:17:38,213 The crowd will go crazy. The other girls are gonna want to join in. 380 00:17:38,282 --> 00:17:41,012 And we will save the bar. And then she'll break up with Charlie... 381 00:17:41,085 --> 00:17:44,452 ruining any hopes for happiness that that son of a bitch ever had. 382 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:47,423 I agree with the first part. But the second part seems incredibly harsh. 383 00:17:47,491 --> 00:17:50,324 That's the best goddamn part! Look, you guys deal with that. 384 00:17:50,394 --> 00:17:52,419 I'm gonna go take care of Mr. Kim. 385 00:17:52,496 --> 00:17:54,430 Yeah, what do you want... Boom! 386 00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:57,331 What the hell is this? Oh, only Mr. Kim's secret microbrew recipe. 387 00:17:57,401 --> 00:17:58,333 Hmm. 388 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:01,902 It's in Korean. What am I supposed to do with this? 389 00:18:01,972 --> 00:18:03,963 Maybe I can get Sun-Li to translate it for us. 390 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,943 Sun-Li? Hi. Could you read this for us, please? 391 00:18:08,012 --> 00:18:10,480 Okay. 392 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:14,450 "Bony American is dirty, dirty whore. 393 00:18:14,518 --> 00:18:19,148 She bring much shame to herself and country. " 394 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,818 Great. Good work, Dee. Yeah. You really topped yourself this year, Sis. 395 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,884 Charlie, can we talk to you for a sec? 396 00:18:27,765 --> 00:18:30,199 You whore? Mm-hmm. 397 00:18:30,267 --> 00:18:32,258 Good. 398 00:18:41,779 --> 00:18:46,011 What you want? I'm gonna have to ask you to shut this place down. 399 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:51,180 I am shut down. Look around, you jerk! No one here. 400 00:18:53,858 --> 00:18:55,826 Yeah, I was kinda wondering about that. What's up? 401 00:18:55,893 --> 00:18:58,589 My daughter, Sun-Li... she is missing! 402 00:18:58,662 --> 00:19:01,028 Korean broad? You seen her? 403 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,259 Uh, no. 404 00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:05,199 Oh, she no come home last night! 405 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:09,399 Well, I'm sure she's gonna come back. She probably just met some guy. 406 00:19:09,473 --> 00:19:12,374 What you talking about? You sick freak! 407 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,934 Sun-Li only 12 years old! 408 00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:18,778 What? She just 12-year-old girl! 409 00:19:20,317 --> 00:19:23,252 Oh, shit! 410 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,288 Attention, everybody. 411 00:19:25,356 --> 00:19:29,622 Hey, attention. Our first contestant halls from North Korea. 412 00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:31,627 That's right, North Korea, everybody. 413 00:19:31,695 --> 00:19:33,629 She's gonna be doing something or other. 414 00:19:33,697 --> 00:19:36,393 And then we're gonna blast her with water from a hose. 415 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,435 It's gonna be great, right? You're gonna want to stick around for this. 416 00:19:38,502 --> 00:19:43,565 And listen, ladies, if you wanna get in on this action, please do not hesitate to do so. 417 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,576 Okay, take it away. 418 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,636 All set. Uh, wait a second. 419 00:19:49,713 --> 00:19:53,877 You're gonna blast my fiancée with water, exposing her breasts to this entire crowd? 420 00:19:53,951 --> 00:19:56,385 Yeah, man. Is that cool? That's very cool. 421 00:19:56,453 --> 00:19:58,944 Awesome. All right, Sun-Li, hit it! 422 00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:03,119 Oh, Great Leader we come to enjoy you 423 00:20:03,193 --> 00:20:08,631 You make sun and moon In the sky 424 00:20:08,699 --> 00:20:11,964 The earth is spinning because of your laughter 425 00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:14,163 All right, she's bombing. Blast her. All righty. 426 00:20:15,639 --> 00:20:17,732 All right, everybody! Three, two... 427 00:20:17,808 --> 00:20:19,298 One! 428 00:20:36,327 --> 00:20:38,352 Oh, God! Come on, Frank! What are you doing, Frank? 429 00:20:38,429 --> 00:20:41,990 Son of a bitch! The wet T- shirt contest is off! 430 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:44,762 Why? She's only 12 years old! 431 00:20:44,835 --> 00:20:46,462 What? 432 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:49,005 You're just 12? Twelve, Charlie! 433 00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:51,007 Oh, shit. That actually explains a lot. 434 00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:53,873 Wait. Where are you guys going? You guys don't have to leave! 435 00:20:53,944 --> 00:20:55,775 No, stay, drink! We didn't know she was 12. 436 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,481 Goddamn it! Well, there goes the pub crawl. Oh, son of a bitch. 437 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,920 Well, I feel better about myself. 438 00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:08,857 Why? Uh, all I did was sleep with... 439 00:21:08,926 --> 00:21:11,121 a toothless, oily busboy for a recipe. 440 00:21:11,195 --> 00:21:14,995 Charlie banged a 12 year old. No, I didn't. 441 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,033 What? Yeah. I didn't even kiss that girl. 442 00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,728 Like, nothing happened. Really? 443 00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:22,397 Yeah, absolutely. I can't believe you banged a toothless busboy. 444 00:21:25,843 --> 00:21:28,971 Those goddamn North Koreans. They are some sneaky bastards. 445 00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:30,980 Yeah. Yep.