1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,837
- Dennis, stop acting like a child.
- I don't want to hear it, Dad.
2
00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:09,170
Deandra, move the pool table so you
and your brother can lay some grout.
3
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,369
I am not laying grout.
4
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,378
- You guys are being babies.
- Babies.
5
00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:15,710
We're being babies, Mac?
Why don't you go work for your dad all day?
6
00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:18,842
- My dad's a meth dealer.
- Oh, oh, no!
7
00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:22,911
- My daddy's in prison!
- My daddy used to give hot shots to prostitutes.
8
00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:25,981
- Feel sorry for me!
- I got the grout.
9
00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,118
- Dad, you're not even listening to us.
- Are you really leaving?
10
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,219
- Yes!
- Later, bitches.
11
00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:32,730
- Yeah, have a good life now.
- All right, look.
12
00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:37,099
I know what you're doin'. I can play this game.
Mac and me and Charlie can run the bar.
13
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,161
- Great. Terrific. Good idea.
- Great. We got better things to do.
14
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,002
Please. What are you two gonna do?
15
00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:43,634
Dee and I have a little something
we like to call "goals."
16
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,042
- Weird, right?
- We have aspirations outside of this bar.
17
00:00:46,112 --> 00:00:48,910
We got big dreams, Mac.
We're gonna go follow 'em.
18
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,973
You guys have nothing
without this bar.
19
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,781
Don't worry about us, Mac.
We'll be just fine.
20
00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:28,345
- So what are your dreams?
- Hmm?
21
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:32,152
- Your goals. What are your aspirations?
- Were you serious about that?
22
00:01:32,224 --> 00:01:34,215
Yeah! What are you doing?
23
00:01:34,293 --> 00:01:36,659
- Signing us up for unemployment benefits.
- Unemployment? No.
24
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:40,221
Dee, that's for deadbeats. Come on.
We got a golden opportunity here.
25
00:01:40,299 --> 00:01:43,291
You know? We can do anything
we want if we put our minds to it.
26
00:01:43,369 --> 00:01:47,305
Well, I guess I could use this time
to get my acting career off the ground.
27
00:01:47,373 --> 00:01:49,364
- And I fully support you.
- You do?
28
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:54,004
Absolute... The old Dennis would have said, "Dee,
your sad little acting ship sailed a decade ago.
29
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:58,813
It's pathetic." But the new Dennis says
that it's not my place to kill your pipe dreams.
30
00:01:58,884 --> 00:02:00,875
- You should go for it.
- Really?
31
00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:04,548
Yes! Come on. This is America!
We're gonna go for it! We're gonna work hard!
32
00:02:04,623 --> 00:02:07,922
We're gonna reach for the stars! We're gonna
become more successful than our parents.
33
00:02:07,993 --> 00:02:10,223
- We can shove it in their faces.
- Make 'em eat shit!
34
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,730
Oh, look, we qualified.
35
00:02:12,798 --> 00:02:15,494
- Really? How much?
- 400 a week.
36
00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:18,537
- 400... That's more than we made at the bar.
- I know.
37
00:02:20,973 --> 00:02:23,066
Okay, new plan.
38
00:02:23,142 --> 00:02:25,133
- We're gonna go on unemployment.
- Yeah.
39
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:27,441
- That's what it's there for, right?
- In the meantime...
40
00:02:27,513 --> 00:02:32,382
we will focus and work hard
and keep our nose to the grindstone.
41
00:02:32,451 --> 00:02:34,385
Right?
42
00:02:34,453 --> 00:02:36,387
Absolutely.
43
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:41,049
- Ready?
- Yeah.
44
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:44,028
One, two, three.
45
00:02:47,466 --> 00:02:50,731
- Goddamn it!
- Wha... Why can you not lift your end?
46
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:54,068
- I don't know, dude. Let me figure out what is happening.
- Are you lifting with your back?
47
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,700
Of course I'm lifting with my back.
I think your end is lighter.
48
00:02:56,776 --> 00:02:58,767
The balls have
rolled down to this end.
49
00:02:58,844 --> 00:03:00,869
No! You got to snap
your back up and lift.
50
00:03:00,946 --> 00:03:04,279
- I'm jerking my back up! What do you want from me?
- Hey, what's the ruckus?
51
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,648
I'm trying to conduct important
business back there.
52
00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:09,745
We finished with the tile.
Now we're trying to move the pool table back.
53
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:12,791
All right, all right, all right.
Have you done the urinal?
54
00:03:12,858 --> 00:03:16,419
Because the urinal, you flush it,
and it sprays all over the place.
55
00:03:16,495 --> 00:03:19,225
- Yeah, I know.
- Look, bro. You gotta stop bossing us around, okay?
56
00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:21,232
I mean, look at Charlie.
You're breaking his spirit.
57
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,825
Look at me. I'm broken, dude.
Look, I'm...
58
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:26,736
You guys need a father figure.
And I'm trying to be that father figure...
59
00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:28,797
and someday you're
gonna thank me for it.
60
00:03:28,874 --> 00:03:32,401
And that's all there is to it.
Trust me. Trust me on that one.
61
00:03:32,478 --> 00:03:34,946
You're gonna thank me for it.
62
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:39,479
I don't want a father figure.
63
00:03:50,596 --> 00:03:53,394
Come down just a little bit.
64
00:03:53,465 --> 00:03:55,831
He's not hitting it that high, you know?
65
00:03:55,901 --> 00:03:58,369
Now you should split the difference.
66
00:03:58,437 --> 00:04:00,462
- You got to split the difference.
- Yeah, split the difference.
67
00:04:00,539 --> 00:04:03,133
What the hell is this?
68
00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:06,701
Oh, living the dream, bro. Living the dream.
69
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:08,974
I thought you two were out
looking for careers or something.
70
00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:12,449
We are. We're just getting a little bit
of assistance to help us out over the hump.
71
00:04:12,518 --> 00:04:16,045
And this unemployment thing is so great,
because we've made really big plans.
72
00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:18,589
- I'm gonna be a veterinarian.
- Yeah.
73
00:04:18,657 --> 00:04:21,956
- And I am gonna move to New York,
and I'm gonna be on Broadway. - Mm-hmm.
74
00:04:22,027 --> 00:04:25,224
What? It's 1:00 in the afternoon,
and you're piss-ass drunk.
75
00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:29,256
Well, it's a slow process, man.
It takes a little time. But we trust the system.
76
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:31,360
- Is that a new watch, dude?
- It is. It's awesome.
77
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:34,031
- And I got a Jesus chain.
- It's good. Look at it.
78
00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:36,574
All right, look, guys. We want you
to come back to the bar, okay?
79
00:04:36,642 --> 00:04:39,611
- Why in the hell would we do that?
- You're not even listening to me.
80
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:41,805
- Did you see myJesus chain?
- I'm busting my ass in that bar...
81
00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:44,008
and you guys are sitting on the stoop
getting drunk all day long?
82
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:46,677
What, this again? What, this again?
83
00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:49,721
- I have to work!
- Cry for me. Cry for me.
84
00:04:49,788 --> 00:04:52,382
I don't know how to take advantage
of government programs.
85
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:56,690
Unemployment runs out. And once it does,
you guys are gonna be back out on your asses.
86
00:04:56,762 --> 00:04:59,856
- Once it runs out, we're gonna go on welfare, dude.
- Yup.
87
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:02,196
- Welfare?
- Mm-hmm.
88
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:05,260
- You guys can't go on welfare.
- Oh, really?
89
00:05:05,337 --> 00:05:07,931
It's reserved for people
who need it, you know?
90
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,737
Like poor people who need some help thr...
91
00:05:10,809 --> 00:05:13,505
It's set up to continue...
92
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:18,278
It's not for overprivileged pieces of shit
who want to waste millions of dollars in tax...
93
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:20,944
You want to play this game?
We gonna play this game now?
94
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,379
Goddamn you!
95
00:05:24,456 --> 00:05:26,947
Goddamn it!
96
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,722
Charlie, sign here, here and here.
97
00:05:32,798 --> 00:05:37,258
So, you're giving me all your money.
98
00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:42,569
Charlie, for the 500th time,
I'm not giving it to you. It's not yours.
99
00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:46,441
I'm just setting up a temporary account
in your name.
100
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:49,310
What my wife can't find,
she can't get.
101
00:05:49,381 --> 00:05:53,784
Right. This is good. This is shady, Frank.
I like this kind of stuff.
102
00:05:53,852 --> 00:05:57,117
But you will be handsomely rewarded
if you just keep your hands off this money.
103
00:05:57,189 --> 00:05:59,851
Right, right.
So what's the vig?
104
00:06:01,126 --> 00:06:03,856
- The vig?
- Yeah, man.
105
00:06:03,929 --> 00:06:07,160
You know, what's...
what's the vig on this action here?
106
00:06:07,232 --> 00:06:09,666
Do you even know what "vig" means?
107
00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:13,431
Hey-ohh!
What's up, bitches?
108
00:06:13,505 --> 00:06:16,941
- Get your gloves. I got a lot of grout work for you to do.
- Forget the grout.
109
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:19,603
I have been doing a little research
that will change our lives forever.
110
00:06:19,678 --> 00:06:23,114
Turns out there's a little program
called Work for Welfare...
111
00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:26,948
in which businesses hire
potential welfare recipients...
112
00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:29,783
the government
subsidizes their wage...
113
00:06:29,855 --> 00:06:32,824
and the I.R.S. Affords
thousands of dollars in tax relief.
114
00:06:34,259 --> 00:06:36,250
Oh, I don't know what you're saying.
115
00:06:36,328 --> 00:06:39,126
Dude, is that a question?
I don't understand. What's going on?
116
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:41,996
Don't you get it?
We will never need Dennis and Dee again.
117
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:47,471
We hire a couple people, pay them nothing,
and get them to do all of our work for us!
118
00:06:47,539 --> 00:06:49,769
- We just pay them nothing?
- We pay them nothing!
119
00:06:49,842 --> 00:06:51,867
- That's incredible.
- It's incredible!
120
00:06:51,944 --> 00:06:55,710
- What do you think, Frank?
- Well, if we're gonna do something like this...
121
00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:58,579
- we got to make sure we don't abuse anybody.
- No. Oh, my God!
122
00:06:58,650 --> 00:07:02,142
I know what it's like to grow up poor.
We got to treat people with respect.
123
00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:05,156
Respect is the name of the game.
Respect is number one!
124
00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:07,317
- It's the name of almost every game.
- Absolutely.
125
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:11,159
- Because we understand the plight of the worker.
- The plight!
126
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,994
- Respect.
- Respect the plight.
127
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,626
What do you think, Frank?
128
00:07:17,636 --> 00:07:19,968
I'm good.
Go get us some slaves.
129
00:07:26,278 --> 00:07:28,269
No, dude.
That's not what I'm saying.
130
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:31,578
- All I'm saying is that "slaves" is not a racist term.
- Shh!
131
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:34,881
Look, dude, I'm... Okay, look.
I'm saying over the history of time, right?
132
00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:38,116
There have been slaves of many different races.
There's been Jewish slaves.
133
00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:40,522
- I mean, uh, Italian, uh...
- I recognize that, Charlie.
134
00:07:40,592 --> 00:07:43,618
But in this country, we have to understand
that it is a sensitive issue, okay?
135
00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:46,994
- I understand that.
- What about that one? He seems strong.
136
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:49,398
- Look at those massive thighs.
- Yeah, those are good thighs.
137
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:52,699
- But you're gonna have a problem with work ethic.
- That's what I'm talking about.
138
00:07:52,771 --> 00:07:54,864
- You can't be saying things like that.
- No, dude.
139
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:58,535
- I'm not saying that because he's black. He's asleep in his chair.
- That's true.
140
00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:00,601
- What about that one?
- Don't just do that.
141
00:08:00,679 --> 00:08:03,842
- Why not?
- I knew you were gonna do that. Why are you going to him?
142
00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:07,079
That's like reverse affirmative action, dude.
143
00:08:07,152 --> 00:08:10,383
You don't want to do that.
You could cheat yourself out of a good slave here.
144
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:13,857
- Well, how do you know he's not gonna be a good slave?
- Come on.
145
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:17,020
You know what? This is so complicated
and confusing. I don't even understand.
146
00:08:17,096 --> 00:08:21,055
- Let's look at this guy.
- We got to talk to someone. Let's just talk to someone.
147
00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:24,859
Hello. Hi.
148
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:27,371
We are here to sign up for
the Work for Welfare Program.
149
00:08:27,439 --> 00:08:31,102
My associate and I were just out on the floor.
We're looking for a suitable candidate.
150
00:08:31,176 --> 00:08:33,974
But the problem is it's really tough
to tell just by eyeballing these people.
151
00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:36,981
- So we were wondering, like, do you have, like, a face book?
- Yeah.
152
00:08:37,049 --> 00:08:40,143
Or anything that we can go over, like their
physical stats and some kind of numbers...
153
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,153
- Excuse me?
- Like weight, power...
154
00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:45,952
- Something to just "expediate" the whole process.
- It doesn't work that way.
155
00:08:46,024 --> 00:08:51,155
Why don't you read up on some
of the program's stipulations?
156
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:53,790
- Ooh, that's big.
- The face book?
157
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:57,495
No. Rules and Regulations.
It's, uh, sort of a legal document.
158
00:08:57,569 --> 00:09:00,663
- Now, is there any way around this?
- Ohh, you're right.
159
00:09:00,739 --> 00:09:02,900
- None whatsoever.
- Okay.
160
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:04,966
- All right, well...
- Thank you for your time.
161
00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:07,477
- We got this, so we'll read it.
- Have a good one.
162
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,571
- I'm not reading that.
- No, I'm not reading this either.
163
00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:12,276
- We'll get Frank to do it.
- Maybe get a slave to do it.
164
00:09:12,351 --> 00:09:14,342
- Look what the cat dragged in.
- Oh, come on.
165
00:09:14,419 --> 00:09:18,822
- Oh, well, look here.
- I see you've decided to steal our welfare idea.
166
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:22,088
- I can't say I'm surprised.
- We're not stealing your idea, okay?
167
00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,629
Let's all recognize that this
is a little awkward situation...
168
00:09:24,696 --> 00:09:26,687
between friends
at the welfare store.
169
00:09:26,765 --> 00:09:29,290
- Let's go our separate ways, okay?
- You guys can't get welfare!
170
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:31,336
- Uh, yeah. We can.
- No, you can't!
171
00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:33,394
They don't give it to
any jackass that walks in here.
172
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,463
- It's reserved for people who need it.
- That's true.
173
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:38,101
Drug addicts, mentally disabled,
people with dependents... that sort of thing.
174
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:41,704
Mac, we've got it covered, okay?
Dee, your bicycle helmet.
175
00:09:45,083 --> 00:09:47,017
Later, boners.
176
00:09:47,085 --> 00:09:49,519
That is an awesome helmet.
177
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:51,522
What... Go! Out!
178
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,490
Hello.
179
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:57,017
Hi. Um, I'm a recovering crackhead.
180
00:09:57,095 --> 00:09:59,529
This is my retarded sister
that I take care of.
181
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,862
I'd like some welfare, please.
182
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,994
You're a recovering crack addict?
183
00:10:05,070 --> 00:10:07,561
- Yep.
- Mm-hmm.
184
00:10:07,639 --> 00:10:11,405
And she's mentally retarded?
185
00:10:11,476 --> 00:10:13,501
Oh, most definitely.
186
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,207
You have the proper
medical paperwork?
187
00:10:16,281 --> 00:10:18,875
Medical paperwork?
188
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,910
We're gonna need a physician's report
to confirm your sister's mental illness...
189
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:27,652
and your blood work
to confirm your... crack addiction.
190
00:10:29,728 --> 00:10:33,721
Well, can't you see
how retarded she is?
191
00:10:41,673 --> 00:10:44,801
- Lose the helmet, Sis.
We can't prove that you're retarded.
192
00:10:44,876 --> 00:10:47,310
- I want that welfare, Dennis.
- I know you do. So do I.
193
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:50,405
No, you don't understand.
I got a taste of my dream. I can't go back.
194
00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:53,713
- I got to get to Broadway, and welfare's the key.
- What do you want to do?
195
00:10:53,785 --> 00:10:58,415
Oh, they want to play rough?
We can play rough. Let's go buy some crack.
196
00:11:04,261 --> 00:11:07,128
Okay, thank you.
We're all set. Friday, 3:00. Full blood work.
197
00:11:07,198 --> 00:11:09,223
- Okay. We'll just smoke a little bit.
- A little bit.
198
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:11,291
Just enough to get into our system.
199
00:11:11,368 --> 00:11:13,928
Then we'll go to the doctor, we'll get all of
our paperwork, and we'll get full benefits.
200
00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:16,598
Then we'll collect for just a little while
until we get settled.
201
00:11:16,674 --> 00:11:19,268
- Then I'll take the MCATs.
- And I'll move to New York. Perfect.
202
00:11:19,343 --> 00:11:20,810
Oh, my God!
203
00:11:20,878 --> 00:11:23,039
- Oh, Jesus!
- Ooh, wow, you scared us.
204
00:11:23,114 --> 00:11:26,641
- Oh, not 'cause you're black. No, we're not racist.
- No. God, no.
205
00:11:26,717 --> 00:11:29,015
- It's just that the neighborhood is scary.
- If you were another ethnicity...
206
00:11:29,086 --> 00:11:31,054
- You really did pop up.
- But it's a nice neighborhood.
207
00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:33,113
- No, the trees are...
- It's the nature of this...
208
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:35,055
Roll your window down.
209
00:11:35,126 --> 00:11:37,060
Okay.
210
00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:42,465
- What you need?
- Uh, one, please.
211
00:11:42,533 --> 00:11:44,558
One what?
212
00:11:44,635 --> 00:11:47,570
- Uh, one rock of crack.
- One crack...
213
00:11:47,638 --> 00:11:50,573
A crack rock. Is that enough?
Is one crack rock enough?
214
00:11:50,641 --> 00:11:53,872
- See, I don't... - How much would
you recommend for a first-time user?
215
00:11:55,813 --> 00:11:58,805
Tell you what.
I'll make you a deal.
216
00:11:58,883 --> 00:12:00,874
Two for the price of one.
217
00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:03,249
- Really?
- Oh, that sounds good.
218
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,811
- Oh. Well, that's very nice of you.
- How much?
219
00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:08,723
Uh, $200?
220
00:12:10,895 --> 00:12:13,557
- Okay. Uh-huh.
- Sounds reasonable. Great.
221
00:12:13,631 --> 00:12:15,724
Okay. Let's see here, uh...
222
00:12:17,835 --> 00:12:23,068
- That should be about 200.
Thanks for being so kind. - Mm-hmm.
223
00:12:24,775 --> 00:12:26,868
And patient.
224
00:12:27,945 --> 00:12:29,913
Pick it up down there.
225
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:33,780
- Wait. Where?
- Wh-Which...
226
00:12:33,851 --> 00:12:35,876
This one.
It's got to be that guy.
227
00:12:35,953 --> 00:12:37,944
Don't say "this one."
228
00:12:40,624 --> 00:12:43,684
Now, Maria, after you're done
in the bathroom you come look for me...
229
00:12:43,761 --> 00:12:46,127
because I got some boots
to be shined, all right?
230
00:12:46,197 --> 00:12:49,064
Tony, go chase that leak
down in the basement, all right?
231
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:52,500
- Okay, boss.
- Okay.
232
00:12:52,570 --> 00:12:55,801
Mac, I got to hand it to you.
This is brilliant.
233
00:12:55,873 --> 00:12:58,364
- That's how I roll. Charles?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
234
00:12:58,442 --> 00:13:01,900
I'm gonna get nice and drunk,
play some video games until my eyes bleed.
235
00:13:01,979 --> 00:13:05,380
- Amen to that, brother.
- Me too. I want to play Charlie.
236
00:13:07,184 --> 00:13:12,816
- Uhh, don't you have, like, some stuff that you need to do?
- Yeah. Yeah.
237
00:13:12,890 --> 00:13:15,017
- No.
- Yeah, managerial stuff.
238
00:13:15,092 --> 00:13:17,253
- Managerial stuff!
- No, I got that all cleared up.
239
00:13:17,328 --> 00:13:20,092
- And then I thought after we played a video game...
- Uh-huh.
240
00:13:20,164 --> 00:13:24,123
The three of us go outside, throw the pigskin
around, play some two-hand touch.
241
00:13:24,201 --> 00:13:27,170
- Ooh, ooh.
- Hey, that's not gonna... that's not gonna work out.
242
00:13:27,238 --> 00:13:30,071
- I'll teach you how to play.
- I already know how to play.
243
00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:32,267
Not properly though.
244
00:13:32,343 --> 00:13:34,675
- Kind of properly.
- Right. Uh, oh, Charlie.
245
00:13:34,745 --> 00:13:37,680
You know what? We got to get
into the bathroom to show Maria...
246
00:13:37,748 --> 00:13:39,739
- The mixing!
- Charlie has this thing... the scrubbing.
247
00:13:39,817 --> 00:13:42,445
- Scrubbing!
- Charlie has this scrubbing thing with the Brillo.
248
00:13:42,519 --> 00:13:45,147
- I have a Brillo.
- He has a method, and we gotta show her.
249
00:13:45,222 --> 00:13:48,123
- And make sure she's got it down.
- All right. I'll get myself a beer.
250
00:13:48,192 --> 00:13:50,990
- Yeah!
- Yeah, get a beer. We'll work it out over here.
251
00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:53,086
Well, this is a development
I did not expect.
252
00:13:53,163 --> 00:13:55,188
It's like he's really
trying to become our father.
253
00:13:55,266 --> 00:13:57,700
- I know how to play football, Charlie.
- I know you do, bro.
254
00:13:57,768 --> 00:14:01,295
- I know you do.
- Do you want me to leave?
255
00:14:01,372 --> 00:14:05,672
Huh? No, you're good. Just... Actually, make
sure you really work that sponge in there.
256
00:14:05,743 --> 00:14:07,836
Because otherwise,
that stain, like, it'll...
257
00:14:07,912 --> 00:14:10,642
- It's not gonna get clean if you don't.
- Yeah. It's gonna get worse.
258
00:14:10,714 --> 00:14:13,444
- What are we gonna do? We gotta ditch him or something.
- Tell you what.
259
00:14:13,517 --> 00:14:16,748
How about you and me, we go out
on the town? You know what I mean?
260
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:20,483
We celebrate this whole...
slave situation.
261
00:14:20,557 --> 00:14:23,526
I'd love to, Charlie. I really would.
But we don't have any money.
262
00:14:23,594 --> 00:14:26,062
- What are we gonna do?
- Oh, I got money.
263
00:14:26,130 --> 00:14:28,724
- What?
- Yeah, I got a whole bunch of money, bro.
264
00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:30,824
Frank's been hiding
all of his money in my account.
265
00:14:30,901 --> 00:14:34,701
And why was I not made
aware of this before?
266
00:14:34,772 --> 00:14:38,105
Uh, it's got something
to do with the vig.
267
00:14:38,175 --> 00:14:41,542
- What's a vig?
- Well, you know how gangsters, they talk about a vig?
268
00:14:41,612 --> 00:14:44,308
- Yeah?
- And it means...
269
00:14:44,381 --> 00:14:46,815
- Yeah. Oh, a vig!
- A vig.
270
00:14:46,884 --> 00:14:49,045
- Yeah. Well, you should have a vig.
- I should have a vig, right?
271
00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:52,350
- And Frank didn't give me one.
- Oh, that's bullshit! You deserve a vig.
272
00:14:52,423 --> 00:14:55,187
- I do. I'm a good guy, right?
- You're a great guy.
273
00:14:55,259 --> 00:14:57,318
- I'm a great guy!
- We're all great guys who deserve vigs.
274
00:14:57,394 --> 00:14:59,919
- We're good people.
- All right, here's the plan. We're gonna slip out of here.
275
00:14:59,997 --> 00:15:02,898
We're gonna hit an A.T.M.
We'll take out just a little bit of cash.
276
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:04,992
- Just a little.
- Just enough. He won't even notice it.
277
00:15:05,069 --> 00:15:08,436
Just enough to have
a quiet night out.
278
00:15:10,574 --> 00:15:12,940
Here's some for you!
Here's some for you!
279
00:15:13,010 --> 00:15:15,001
And here's some for you!
280
00:15:22,853 --> 00:15:24,844
Oh, God.
281
00:15:26,256 --> 00:15:28,247
Oh, shit!
282
00:15:28,325 --> 00:15:30,293
Dennis!
283
00:15:30,361 --> 00:15:33,125
- Dennis!
- What happened?
284
00:15:33,197 --> 00:15:36,223
It's 4:00.
285
00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:40,203
I'm freezing and I'm sweating
all at once.
286
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:42,568
I think I may have peed in my pants.
287
00:15:42,639 --> 00:15:44,573
We missed our doctor's appointment.
288
00:15:44,641 --> 00:15:47,735
Well, only by an hour.
If we hurry, maybe they'll still see us.
289
00:15:47,811 --> 00:15:52,145
It was yesterday.
We missed our appointment by an hour and a day.
290
00:15:52,216 --> 00:15:54,411
We slept through a whole day?
291
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:58,216
- I feel awful.
- I feel like I'm gonna die!
292
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:01,587
- I don't want to feel like this anymore, Deandra.
- Mm-mmm. Me either.
293
00:16:01,658 --> 00:16:05,594
Okay, listen.
Maybe if I make a phone call right now...
294
00:16:05,662 --> 00:16:08,256
we'll be able to make
another appointment.
295
00:16:08,332 --> 00:16:12,393
- You think he'll see us on such short notice?
- We have gotta try.
296
00:16:12,469 --> 00:16:15,961
- Hey, man. Thanks for seeing us on such short notice.
- That's what I do, baby.
297
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,031
Two more, please.
298
00:16:21,145 --> 00:16:22,806
- That guy. Yeah.
- Yeah.
299
00:16:24,848 --> 00:16:28,249
No, these are old,
and I need to get new head shots.
300
00:16:28,318 --> 00:16:30,912
Because you can't have an...
an agent without head shots.
301
00:16:30,988 --> 00:16:35,186
Dennis, when you become a veterinarian,
will you buy me some new head shots?
302
00:16:35,259 --> 00:16:37,250
Please? Dennis?
303
00:16:37,327 --> 00:16:40,888
- Hey! Dennis! Hey, Dennis.
- Wha... What?
304
00:16:40,964 --> 00:16:43,432
When you become a veterinarian,
will you buy me head shots, please?
305
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:46,936
Hey! Hey, get out of here,
you piece of shit!
306
00:16:47,004 --> 00:16:49,131
Yeah, I'll buy you stuff.
307
00:16:49,206 --> 00:16:51,572
I'll buy you lots of things.
308
00:16:51,642 --> 00:16:54,634
- I'm definitely gonna buy a bunch of crack.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
309
00:17:01,251 --> 00:17:03,412
Hey! Hey, that's Dennis and Dee!
310
00:17:03,487 --> 00:17:05,512
Driver, pull over!
311
00:17:11,462 --> 00:17:14,056
Hey, Dennis! Dee!
312
00:17:15,165 --> 00:17:17,497
- Oh.
- Hey.
313
00:17:19,770 --> 00:17:22,136
- Guys. Hey.
- Hey. Hey.
314
00:17:22,206 --> 00:17:25,141
- Hey, how's it going?
- Good. Real good.
315
00:17:25,209 --> 00:17:28,201
- It's good on our end here.
- We're putting a couple things together lately.
316
00:17:28,278 --> 00:17:32,214
- Hey, uh, are you guys holding?
- Holding what?
317
00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:36,518
Holding... Do you have any money?
318
00:17:36,587 --> 00:17:38,885
- Please?
- Oh, um...
319
00:17:38,956 --> 00:17:41,220
- I just need a little bit of money. Wait!
- Charlie, wait!
320
00:17:41,291 --> 00:17:43,418
- Charlie, wait!
- No!
321
00:17:43,494 --> 00:17:45,485
Driver, we're done here.
322
00:17:53,437 --> 00:17:55,803
That's enough whining,
for crying out loud!
323
00:17:55,873 --> 00:18:00,037
- I think it might be broken.
- I told you not to act like such a nancy boy out there.
324
00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:04,547
- Something was bound to happen.
- I didn't think it was full contact.
325
00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:07,675
Well, how do you expect to become
a better player if nobody pushes you?
326
00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:09,981
Maria, go get us
some ice and three beers.
327
00:18:10,053 --> 00:18:12,544
- I don't drink.
- Me neither.
328
00:18:12,623 --> 00:18:17,356
You don't drink? Jesus Christ!
You two are a couple of downers, huh?
329
00:18:17,427 --> 00:18:21,363
You work hard, you don't drink...
How'd you end up on welfare?
330
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:23,422
Well, it's a vicious cycle,
Mr. Frank.
331
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:26,560
- One cannot support a family
on a minimum-wage position.
332
00:18:26,637 --> 00:18:29,333
Oh, shh-shh-shh-shh!
333
00:18:30,874 --> 00:18:33,274
- Y'ello?
- This is Pam from First National Bank.
334
00:18:33,343 --> 00:18:36,005
- Charlie Kelly, please.
- Yeah, this is Charlie Kelly.
335
00:18:36,079 --> 00:18:39,571
Hi. I'd like to speak with you about
some recent activity on your new account.
336
00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:42,619
Some recent activity
on my new account?
337
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,086
- We got a big problem here, buddy.
- All right. Try it again.
338
00:18:45,155 --> 00:18:47,146
I've tried it three times.
It's just not working.
339
00:18:47,224 --> 00:18:50,216
The services have already been rendered.
We gotta pay these girls.
340
00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:52,285
- He cut us off.
- Is there a problem?
341
00:18:52,362 --> 00:18:54,557
- No. Not a problem here.
- No problem.
342
00:18:54,631 --> 00:18:56,758
- I'm calling Hector.
- No, no. Don't call Hector.
343
00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:59,199
- I'm calling Wallace.
- We shouldn't be calling Hector or Wallace...
344
00:18:59,269 --> 00:19:01,203
- or any other large pimp.
- No.
345
00:19:01,271 --> 00:19:04,968
Charlie and I are gonna handle this situation
just like we handle every situation.
346
00:19:05,042 --> 00:19:06,976
We are gonna...
347
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:13,611
Well, you know,
we'll just go back to work for a little while.
348
00:19:13,684 --> 00:19:16,710
Just for a little while until we have
enough money to buy some more crack.
349
00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:19,187
Then we'll go on welfare,
and I'll go be a star.
350
00:19:19,256 --> 00:19:22,089
Then I can be a veterinarian
of some kind.
351
00:19:22,159 --> 00:19:24,093
Maybe we should think about rehab.
352
00:19:24,161 --> 00:19:26,186
- We should hit rehab as soon as possible.
- Pretty soon.
353
00:19:26,263 --> 00:19:28,197
- In a couple days.
- Yeah.
354
00:19:28,265 --> 00:19:30,199
Not now.
355
00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:33,634
- Ahh, Jesus Christ! That was close.
- Ohh, look who it is!
356
00:19:33,704 --> 00:19:35,934
What the hell are
you guys doing here?
357
00:19:36,006 --> 00:19:37,997
- We're getting our jobs back.
- Yeah.
358
00:19:38,075 --> 00:19:41,010
- You can't have em!
- We might have a little bit of a drug problem.
359
00:19:41,078 --> 00:19:43,012
- I might not really care.
- I don't give a shit.
360
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,173
- Your positions have been filled.
- So we're gonna take yours.
361
00:19:45,249 --> 00:19:48,343
- You're not gonna take our jobs.
- My dad called and said that we could have your jobs.
362
00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:50,818
We need money to pay our hookers, okay?
So you can't have 'em.
363
00:19:50,887 --> 00:19:54,846
- But we need money to buy crack.
- Oh, I'm sorry. Did you get addicted to crack?
364
00:19:54,925 --> 00:19:56,916
Did somebody get addicted to crack?
365
00:19:56,994 --> 00:20:00,657
I sweat uncontrollably!
366
00:20:00,731 --> 00:20:03,825
I can't get somebody
to have sex with me unless I pay for it!
367
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:06,460
- Children, children.
- ... with me.
368
00:20:06,536 --> 00:20:10,267
- What's all the fighting about?
- Did you tell them that they could have our jobs?
369
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:14,208
Why don't we go on inside where it's nice
and warm and we can settle this like a family?
370
00:20:14,278 --> 00:20:16,303
- Come on.
- Yeah, what about the slaves?
371
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:20,180
Slaves are gone. They were bringing me down.
Plus, you know they don't drink?
372
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:22,309
- Drink? I want a drink.
- Wait, wait, wait!
373
00:20:22,386 --> 00:20:25,412
- Stop a second. There are gonna be some changes made.
- Okay.
374
00:20:25,489 --> 00:20:29,892
All right? First of all, you two from now
on are gonna do all of Charlie's work.
375
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,292
- I hate Charlie's work.
- No. Not his.
376
00:20:32,362 --> 00:20:36,856
Stop! Charlie, you got a lot
of balls stealing my money.
377
00:20:38,302 --> 00:20:41,999
This shows leadership.
I am promoting you to management.
378
00:20:42,072 --> 00:20:44,063
- That's why I did it.
- That's fantastic!
379
00:20:44,141 --> 00:20:47,201
That's why I did it too.
I stole lots of your money. What do I get?
380
00:20:47,277 --> 00:20:51,509
You get dick,
because you are a follower and a thief.
381
00:20:51,581 --> 00:20:54,607
But how come Charlie?
Not fair. How come Charlie?
382
00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:57,245
Why would you do this to us, Dad?
383
00:20:57,321 --> 00:21:00,722
Because you are crackheads,
children.
384
00:21:04,795 --> 00:21:06,854
Yeah.
385
00:21:06,930 --> 00:21:09,626
- Crack.
- Crack.
386
00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:12,191
Crack. Crack.
387
00:21:12,269 --> 00:21:14,203
Crack.